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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Online resource for painfully shy child



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2020, 5:43 am
Hi. Can anyone recommend someone I could speak to online to learn how to help my extremely shy and sensitive daughter? She is 8 years old and rather than getting better it seems to be getting worse and I wish I could understand why and help her move beyond it.

. I live somewhere where child therapy services are in short supply (and presumably even more so after the lockdown) and so someone I could speak to online would be great, just to get some ideas. Willing to pay of course for the right person. Thanks for any help or ideas you can give me.
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powerofplay




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 22 2020, 7:47 am
A variety of techniques can be used in tandem. I use a play-based systematic desensitization approach . I am available through email brosenbergphd@yahoo.com. Good luck !
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, May 10 2020, 11:17 pm
We got our daughter speech therapy and results was awesome...Many are avail via tee therapy now (AKA video chat)

that being said I was a painfully shy kid and shyness is usually in the genea...and I bh outgrew it as do most of my family members...I appreciate that my mom never labeled me or bothered me much about it and just let me be the happiest introvert on the block Smile

good luck!
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das




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 10 2020, 11:22 pm
powerofplay wrote:
A variety of techniques can be used in tandem. I use a play-based systematic desensitization approach . I am available through email brosenbergphd@yahoo.com. Good luck !


Interesting. I'm not the op but I'd love to hear more about this. Can you elaborate?
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powerofplay




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 11 2020, 7:26 am
It’s highly individualized for each child but the general principals combine CBT, play therapy and DIR/floortime techniques. This is obviously not as easily done online but could be adapted if necessary. I always try to collaborate with parents and other therapists if there are any other services being provided . I have developed a hierarchy of non-threatening play activities that are utilized with child 1:1. Eventually can combine with peer and sibling out of classroom . Then transferring to classroom with same peer and then eventually child will feel comfortable at play time . Every child’s individual developmental profile and sensory profile is also assessed and accommodated. Some kids present with motor planning challenges or language delays which contribute to their difficulty with real-time communication . Many children are highly sensitive to loud noises, or benefit from firm pressure/ propioception. This process can take weeks but most children will improve . I also encourage frequent play dates in the child’s home with me or parent facilitating .

The child is anxious about socializing / speaking . So we start with very playful nonverbal, nonthreatening activities ( toys , games, play dough , etc. while therapist and/ or parent via coaching speaks very softly , comments occasionally , uses lots of nonverbal communications , signs etc. anything to gradually increase child’s comfort to communicate nonverbally ). Everything is done with humor and playfulness . Never asking them to speak but they can respond with a head shake etc. eventually move on to musical instruments , puppets , microphones with singing , animal toys , animal toys.. etc. some will start to make animal noises so we’ll do that together . We may practice banging on a drum softly then louder .. I’ll tend to follow their lead and tell them they’re in charge . I may label the action “ soft/ loud or slow / fast “ etc .

This is the general idea but not a cookbook formula - tailored to child’s interests and talents . For example more active play ( tag , follow the leader etc. hide and seek ) . Some children like art . I use costumes also if desired . Some may make animal noises. The child should be relaxed and happy at all times . A person can’t be truly joyful and relaxed while being anxious simultaneously . Eventually they may start whispering or singing .... Any communication should be mirrored and joined .

This is a gradual process but very helpful. It is highly customized for each individual . If you describe the child specifically I could provide more direction .
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