8 year old and decisions making

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Wed, May 20 2020, 12:50 pm

For the last few months my 8 year old girl started that she can't make any decisions. With being a big or small decision, she keeps on asking us or her siblings what she should decide.
She is having difficulties in school and is being taken out for help in academic and social aspects.
But I wanted to know if anyone got tips, how to get her to decide.
I started telling her instead of deciding what she likes or wants best, she should take away the ones she likes least and so on till she is has the one decision she wants

Ora in town

Wed, May 20 2020, 1:57 pm

I think in phases where people have a hard time making decisions, you should not ask them to make decisions.
Often we ask our children "do you want a strawberry or mango popsicle?"
We ask to do them a favor, so that they can chose what they prefer.

When a person is in a state of mind where it is hard to make decisions, we should avoid asking them those kinds of questions, because to them it is pure torture... they get stuck on the decision making, and lose out on the enjoyment of the popsicle...

So for a while, I would just give her either mango or strawberry popsicles, and if she wants the other one, it's on her to tell you...

It's not really necessary to make decisions all the time, neither for a 8-year-old, nor for an adult.

there are times that are better left decision-less...

SingALong

Wed, May 20 2020, 2:01 pm

What type of decisions? Like what should I do? Abstract things?
Or concrete like what should I wear, what should I eat?
I find at this age giving a choice of 2-3 things gives them the opportunity to develop the skill of making a decision without being too overwhelming. Like if she’s bored, instead of saying do what you want, you can suggest, ell you can ride you bike, do this project or listen to a story CD. Which one are you interested in? If at that point she still can’t decide, I’d say, those are my ideas, if you don’t want to do any, then you can think of your own.

Same with clothing. I’d provide 2 choices, if she doesn’t want either, say ok you can pick something else you’d like.

singleagain

Wed, May 20 2020, 2:13 pm

I'm just gonna say that it's possible this is anxiety. Looking back over my life, I def had anxiety by age 5. Check if it's regular decision or anxiety

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