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Desperate about yeshiva HELP
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 1:45 pm
Rappel wrote:
Well, if you're in NY then this may be aschlep, but have you considered RPRY? Healthy school community, and definitely RW.


Maybe you're thinking of RJJ? RPRY is an MO elementary school.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 1:55 pm
Goldie613 wrote:
Have you considered Rambam or DRS? Both in Long Island, both have transportation (there is a charge for it). Both I'd consider modern yeshivish, if that term is still used. Boys do learn there, most go to Israel post high school, it is orthodox, but they also have good secular programs and their boys go to college. Rambam has a lot of extracurricular stuff too, I think DRS has too but I'm less sure of their details.


This is what I was going to suggest, although I'd qualify these schools as RWMO rather than yeshivish. They are both very warm schools with an emphasis on good middos as well as on limudei kodesh and secular studies. Most of the boys go to yeshivas in Israel for a year or two and then on to college (a mix of YU/Touro, Queens College, and even some Ivies).
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chocolatecake




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 1:57 pm
Goldie613 wrote:
Have you considered Rambam or DRS? Both in Long Island, both have transportation (there is a charge for it). Both I'd consider modern yeshivish, if that term is still used. Boys do learn there, most go to Israel post high school, it is orthodox, but they also have good secular programs and their boys go to college. Rambam has a lot of extracurricular stuff too, I think DRS has too but I'm less sure of their details.


Rambam and DRS are both good schools, I would consider them RWMO - on their websites they both say they are Zionist. MAY used to be part or South Shore and broke away a few years back. They are modern yeshivish. The Rosh Yeshiva and rabbeim are black hat and they are not Zionist. All three schools the general path is one yr in Israel and then college and they all have very good secular studies departments.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:00 pm
Rappel wrote:
What is he really looking for? There are many fine schools with excellent educators and curriculums, but that doesn't mean that he'll find satisfaction there. Magen David is such a random choice for someone who is not within the community, that I can't help wondering what makes him think it's even on the table.

What's bugging him, and what does he want?


Lol. Basketball is how he got the idea of the school. Then he googled and found the curriculum with business emphasis. He ran a “yeshiva business”. He’s been to Deal in the summer. He wants somewhere where he feels like people are living in reality and are open to things like social media and smart phones for kids with mixing.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:07 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am aware of the drugs and we prefer a change in hashkafa to exposure. I heard the same with drugs with one school in 5 towns. Can I ask if you sent originally to MD and then changed?


My son went to mainstream ashkenaz yeshivas even though we are Syrian. Don’t live in Brooklyn.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:12 pm
chocolatecake wrote:
Rambam and DRS are both good schools, I would consider them RWMO - on their websites they both say they are Zionist. MAY used to be part or South Shore and broke away a few years back. They are modern yeshivish. The Rosh Yeshiva and rabbeim are black hat and they are not Zionist. All three schools the general path is one yr in Israel and then college and they all have very good secular studies departments.


I agree with these suggestions too. A happy medium where you and your son might be happy.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:17 pm
As someone who has worked in magen david, I remember the boy that was in jr high that was the rare ashkenaz exception. And, boy, did the other kids remind him of it almost every 5 minutes of the day.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:31 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
As someone who has worked in magen david, I remember the boy that was in jr high that was the rare ashkenaz exception. And, boy, did the other kids remind him of it almost every 5 minutes of the day.


I see a theme on this thread. I had no idea there were so many Syrian or Syrian connect imas here Smile We will Bln do our best to dissuade him on MD.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 2:35 pm
MO is not yeshivish lite. Explore the Haskafa and determine if the derech is inline with your son's beliefs. It is not fair to your son or the school to send somewhere that doesn't align. Sending mixed messages is not the answer. Make sure that you respect the Haskafa and all that it entails, and that your son buys in. These kids work very hard and it is not slumming.
If you think that Zionism is wrong, or girls learning Gemara is not acceptable and his MO Rebbi teaches a girls class at a sister school, you are putting him in a bad place and doing him a disservice.

If you are respectful of different sheetot and he has emunah in HKBH and believe in Torah Umadah. And he believe that Hashem gave us this big wonderful world with many aspects to enjoy and explore, within an appropriate forum. And he believe in being an Or lagoyinm and diversity isn't a dirty word. Then you should definitely explore the MO schools.
I don't have boys, but I would consider starting near you and branching out from there as Shabbos friends are super important too and it doesn't sound like he is going to want to hanged out with the Yeshivish boys on Shabbos and you want good carry over, not where he is at a MO school and making quality connection during the week and hanging out with Yeshiva Scum, OTD or non-frum neighborhood kids on the weekend because he needs peers and doesn't fit in with the Yeshivish kids.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 3:49 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
hanging out with Yeshiva Scum, OTD or non-frum neighborhood kids on the weekend because he needs peers and doesn't fit in with the Yeshivish kids.


This is what’s going on. It’s so sad. He feels isolated but not enough to fit in to our community. Firm rebellion. Our hashkafa and what he knows isn’t how he’s holding. They aren’t going to align. We are accepting and haven’t sheltered him so much but we have a solid hashkafa and don’t hold to MO. (We are 100% okay that others do!) He thinks he does hold by that and we can’t convince him otherwise several yeshiva and yeshiva lite options in. I’m afraid he will still feel isolated at a MO school because our household isn’t changing.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 4:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
This is what’s going on. It’s so sad. He feels isolated but not enough to fit in to our community. Firm rebellion. Our hashkafa and what he knows isn’t how he’s holding. They aren’t going to align. We are accepting and haven’t sheltered him so much but we have a solid hashkafa and don’t hold to MO. (We are 100% okay that others do!) He thinks he does hold by that and we can’t convince him otherwise several yeshiva and yeshiva lite options in. I’m afraid he will still feel isolated at a MO school because our household isn’t changing.


I dont want to out myself with too much detail but with our children who are now in schools labeled officially MO, various ones, it has not been an issue at all. We are more alike than different. We dont do zionism, but other than that being different, it is the same. Our kids found good friends, good boys, who are not rebellious. Who love yiddishkeit. It was so scary making that leap on paper. But once we went down to the schools, had conversations, met principals, rebbeim, met parents of the student body, it was the best decision ever. Otherwise they would have ended up with a bad crowd. Our hashkafa at home has not changed.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 4:46 pm
Did you look into TABC?

Kushner is an amazing school. However- first of all it is mixed; second it has all the ideology of mo mentioned above (girls learn gemarah etc); third the kids do work hard. Yes there are separate tracks for different levels but the kids work. In both judaica and secular. Amazing sports programs that again the kids really work hard for.
The staff is incredible & caring too.

But It's not a school for goofing off.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 5:45 pm
There is a guy in Lakewood , who is excellent in evaluating boys and where they belong

Maybe Chayalle or MG8 has more info about this

There is also a Rabbi Don Blumberg from Monsey


Last edited by naturalmom5 on Sun, May 31 2020, 5:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 6:35 pm
Respect his choice. Send him where he wants to go. If he is intelligent and self aware, than he knows what he needs.. He'll be happy and he'll end up making you so proud of him.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:00 pm
amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:
Respect his choice. Send him where he wants to go. If he is intelligent and self aware, than he knows what he needs.. He'll be happy and he'll end up making you so proud of him.


This is the plan. Unfortunately we are inept at helping facilitate the transition because we don’t know the schools. My DS doesn’t either. This thread has been so helpful.
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j123




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:05 pm
Try calling R Shya Cohen from Priority One. My cousin had a great experience with him.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:07 pm
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
I dont want to out myself with too much detail but with our children who are now in schools labeled officially MO, various ones, it has not been an issue at all. We are more alike than different. We dont do zionism, but other than that being different, it is the same. Our kids found good friends, good boys, who are not rebellious. Who love yiddishkeit. It was so scary making that leap on paper. But once we went down to the schools, had conversations, met principals, rebbeim, met parents of the student body, it was the best decision ever. Otherwise they would have ended up with a bad crowd. Our hashkafa at home has not changed.


Don’t worry Wink I have absolutely no idea who you are or where in the tristate area you live or who your DCs are. Thank you so much for the chizzuk and comments. I don’t think I have it in me to fail at this anymore for him and for us.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:08 pm
j123 wrote:
Try calling R Shya Cohen from Priority One. My cousin had a great experience with him.


Do you have contact info? Google gave me security companies.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:51 pm
Have you looked into the Rochester yeshiva?
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amother
Linen


 

Post Sun, May 31 2020, 7:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How hard is it to get into MTA? We assumed it was out based on that and bc he’s been to several yeshivas already. We don’t have any connections there. He’s open to it bc he’s familiar with adults from YU. Is there transportation to the boroughs?


If he has good grades and enough of a secular studies background and is not a troublemaker it shouldn't be that hard. They take a fair number of kids who come from different backgrounds (they have some kids who grew up in the Chabad system and decided they wanted more of a secular education etc.). It's a really nice place and they have exposure to a bunch of different Roshei Yeshiva at YU who range from staunchly MO to bordering on Yeshivish-lite so its easier to find a niche I think. Also the Rabbeim at MTA tend to be a little more right-wing than TABC and similar schools.
Heichal is also a good choice to look at I just don't think there's an easy way to get there from the city unless you're willing to drive him. I don't believe they have bussing.
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