I’ve gained so much weight help!!

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 10:57 am

As a person who has been almost life long morbidly obese, let me just say a few things about how one presents ones self best no matter what their weight.

I started thinking about this when I met a friend of a friend who is extremely obese ( I’d venture close to 400 pounds at about Five six.)

This woman is SO put together. We don’t have the same tastes, so what she wears isn’t what I’d wear. But SHE ROCKS WHATEVER SHE WEARS. Her makeup, her clothing, EVERYTHING. She’s on the flamboyant side, and again, if I wore what she does I’d look silly, but she clearly puts a lot of thought and care into her appearance and it WORKS.

As I look back at photos of me a hundred pounds ago, I realized that I chose clothing that I could get on myself, rather than what particularly looked good for me. For example, I am apple shaped so if I put on something for pear shaped, obviously it would not work, but otherwise, if I could get it on me, my apple shaped stomach and ginormous breast, I wore it. Nothing had any shape or form. I was just glad to be dressed.

I work from home, so really I am must dressed in comfy stuff that works for me. My shul/Simcha clothes are all outfits that work on me. I can go through twenty outfits in a store and maybe one will work, so I buy what works and makes me feel good. Usually it’s something that gives me a waist ( I do have one, it’s just hidden by my ginormous breasts and my stomach also pops out because diastasis recti.)

When I do dress up and get out, I like to be a bit edgy. With my makeup of my doc martens. Whatever works with the outfit. Yes, I’m still five one and over 200 pounds for sure. But when I put myself together, I look great, I kniw I look great and I don’t worry about how fat I am.

Granted, how fat I am and worrying about it has seriously abated in general because of losing 100 plus pounds ( leaving maybe 80 more to go.) but also, I exercise regularly, my legs have some amazing muscle definition ( just from walking and step aerobics) and I feel really good. Our latest thing is walking about 10km a day (6 miles) just to get out and not be sitting on our butts. It ALL goes to show you that at any weight you are what you present.

I’d advise really thinking about what the style that makes you feel best is and buying that. You may have to try twenty things on to find that thing. If you’re shopping online it’s harder, so make sure you buy things that are easily returned.

Hiding your fat won’t help you look better. Dressing to your advantage will. There’s a philosophical difference there that is really important.

Don’t get hung up on the fact that I’ve lost weight and maintained it. Maybe in another fifteen years I’ll get to a normal weight, let alone the perfect weight for me. I’ll be morbidly obese for quite a long time to come, even with eating well and exercising regularly. I’m perimenopausal and have broken my metabolism more times than I can count in over 45 years of disordered eating. Homeostasis means my body WANTS to be heavier, because that’s what it’s used to. I’m still massively overweight. And I look and feel GREAT. You can too.

crust

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 11:18 am

Thanks Andrea! You put it so well.
Tip for anyone that is big on top- wear Batwing style tops.

I lost so much weight before Covid. Then I lost at least 15 pounds while I had Covid and now it's all back.

I was very upset about it because honestly I don't have the headspace to start again.

I gave this some thought and decided that I can't do the whole thing at once but I can divide it into bite sized goals.

Goal 1- Eating 3 meals a day instead of eating and noshing 18 hours a day 7 days a week.
In this phase my focus is not the quality of the food.

Goal 2- Trying to eat healthy and lean foods.

Goal 3- Exercise

I just started Goal 1.

I don't put very much thought into what I eat. The main thing is that whatever I prepare for myself is what I eat and that's it.
No grazing or opening the pantry the freezer or the fridge after a meal.
If I wanted to eat it it had to be on the table when I started the meal.

Whether its peanut chew or scrambled eggs or both, I only eat what's on my plate.

Of course, once I sit down to a meal it automatically makes me think for a minute that I dont really want to be in a mini coma after breakfast so I will choose a more wholesome thing than white bread.

And if my lunch is peanut chew and ostreicher chocolate chip cookies- there is only so much you can eat in one sitting. Yes I know you can eat a whole bag but that's not my focus right now.

First this 18/7 eating has to stop. I'm doing this for a few weeks. I know I'm not going to lose tons of weight but at least the gaining is going to stop and I will feel more in control.

In Goal 2 I will focus on the quality of the food iyh.

amother

Navy

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 1:01 pm

me too. I returned to work (three weeks ago) and EVERYBODY was sure im pregnant. on day one I had to explain five different people that im not expecting. then I went to the supermarket where I met a friend who was like. "omg I wish I could hug you, thats such amazong news!!!- a corona baby!!!" - everyone looked at us and I was mumbeling that I simply gained weight...
ok so same day a students mother called me and said: I saw you in the parking lot, we are so happy for you but please make sure that the kids (ie my students) know before you go on maternity leave...after quarantine, homeschooling etc they deserve to know...on shabbos we were finally eating with friends and I wasnt served l´chaym.-..beacuse 'you know' Wink

I started weight watchers after that shabbos...cant handle explaining to everyone that im simply fat Sad

its week two of ww and 2,8 kg are off.
I gained 10 beofre covid and during quarantine another 7.

I really like the Amazon link to the tops- they must hide nicely.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 1:24 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

I started weight watchers after that shabbos...cant handle explaining to everyone that im simply fat Sad

its week two of ww and 2,8 kg are off.
I gained 10 beofre covid and during quarantine another 7.

I really like the Amazon link to the tops- they must hide nicely.

first off hugs. that sounds really painful to have everyone rub it in your face. not cool.

second, can you share the version of WW ur doing? the app? the old version?
I'm in a depression cuz along with everything else that has been so hard I also gained a lot on top of the extra 10-15 lbs I wanted to lose before corona. I wish I could accept my otherwise healthy body but alas, I cannot. so please share... thanks so much.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jun 03 2020, 3:11 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

I started weight watchers after that shabbos...cant handle explaining to everyone that im simply fat Sad

its week two of ww and 2,8 kg are off.
I gained 10 beofre covid and during quarantine another 7.

I really like the Amazon link to the tops- they must hide nicely.

I am so sad for you!!!😘😘😘😘😘😪😪😪😪
You will lost, you will win!!!
Be strong!!
Don't think I am fat I have 17 pounds to lost.
Start by 5pounds and give u a price when you achieve it.
Than again 5pounds....

Chana Miriam S

Thu, Jun 04 2020, 12:32 am

crust wrote:

Wow, crust. Be well. I agree that in times of crisis, one has to do what one can. In the past few months I’ve modified what I do. I found my extended fasting schedule changed somewhat and that’s fine. I’m maintaining my Weight loss. I am getting exercise. Strictly speaking might have gained a ew pounds of muscle which does show up on the scale, but doesn’t worry me.

I agree that when you’re out of control putting boundaries that are sustainable are a smart move, whatever they be. In my case it happened almost overnight but only because I was scared and I knew I had to do anything I could. It worked and I’m grateful but it still comes down to having made solid boundaries and then adjusting as I went.