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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Are there questions you do not want your children to ask you?
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| No, I encourage my children to ask any question they have |
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90% |
[ 123 ] |
| Yes, I limit the scope of my children's questions |
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9% |
[ 13 ] |
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| Total Votes : 136 |
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browniebar
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 Thu, Jun 11 2020, 10:10 pm
| pause wrote: | NEVER LIE TO YOUR KIDS.
You can distract, you can give a non-answer like "Hashem made it like this." But if you want to have any trustworthiness by them going into their teenage years, do not lie. |
Don't love the distracting method but yeah, never lie
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Zehava
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Thu, Jun 11 2020, 10:12 pm
They tell me
To teach you
That respect
Means obeying without question
That authority is always right
They instruct me
To shield you
From the world
To not let any information
Pass that barrier
To brush off your questions
Lest you have more
They warn me
That if I fail to do so
If I so much as pause
In my vigilance
The results will be disastrous
And so
I teach you
That respect is kindness
and appreciation
I allow you to make choices
I freely admit to my mistakes
I allow you
To soak in your surroundings
Naturally without fear
I answer your questions
And when you have more
I welcome the opportunity
To give you knowledge
I am hoping
That as a result
You will learn to always question
That authority
Can be gravely wrong sometimes
I wish for you
To always be willing to learn
And to never be afraid
Of new information
I want for you
To always be
As wild and free
Untamed
As you are
Right now
I want your wings
To remain intact
So you can fly
And always remain
As Beautifully
Naturally
You
As you are
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pause
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Thu, Jun 11 2020, 10:15 pm
| browniebar wrote: | | Don't love the distracting method but yeah, never lie |
I avoid doing that too. I'd rather give age-appropriate responses. But for some people, it's what they need to resort to instead of lying. Never lie.
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tigerwife
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Thu, Jun 11 2020, 10:19 pm
I love when my kids ask me thoughtful questions. It’s nice to know that they think! I’ll admit they are pretty young, so I haven’t been terribly challenged in this area yet. But I do believe there’s an appropriate answer to every question, even if it means researching first.
I’m not sure what you mean by free speech. I am trying to teach my children to be discreet and not announce everything they think. For example, when my four year old understood what a pregnant woman looked like, she went over to anyone with a belly and asked if they are pregnant and can she feel the baby kick lol. I told her this isn’t something that is polite to ask but you can ask Mommy. Sometimes it’s ok to think something even if it’s not appropriate to announce. The general public (excluding parents) doesn’t need to be aware of your bodily functions, etc.
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amother
Copper
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 12:02 am
I definitely DISCOURAGE my kids to ask questions!
Why?
Because most times they suddenly have questions is two hours after they were supposed to be sleeping!!
(Most times I tell them that’s a great questions let’s talk about it in the morning) 
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amother
Lilac
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 12:11 am
| amother [ Copper ] wrote: | I definitely DISCOURAGE my kids to ask questions!
Why?
Because most times they suddenly have questions is two hours after they were supposed to be sleeping!!
(Most times I tell them that’s a great questions let’s talk about it in the morning) |
This. Tonight. Then a snack. Lots of laughs though.
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amother
Brown
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 12:22 am
We definitely encourage questions and will always give age appropriate answers, we don't distract or lie even if it's a complicated or uncomfortable question. We want to encourage open and honest communication because one day the questions are going to get even trickier and more important and we want our children to feel like they can come to us with anything and not get second hand and most likely false information from friends.
As far as free speech, yes, you're free to speak your mind but not free to hurt people is our basic principle. All feelings are encouraged and valid but all types of language are not, if that makes sense.
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leah233
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Fri, Jun 12 2020, 10:40 am
Quite ironic that I got a passive aggressive hug for expressing ambivalence about free speech. Like I said in that post the proponents of free speech and free expression have their limits...
On another note the fury , apologies and firing er… "resignations" in The New York Times this week over the op-ed from Senator Cottons saying that the military should be used to stop the violence, vandalism, theft and even murder from the George Floyd protests proves my point.
I will use it as a Chinuch lesson next time the topic of censorship in the frum world comes up.
The New York Times and it readers pride themselves for how open minded and dedicated to freedom of expression they are. Senator Cottons didn't suggest doing anything illegal or anything harmful to anyone not engaged in clearly destructive criminal behavior. Yet there was such fury over "how dare you give voice to such an opinion" The New York Times apologized and deleted the op-ed. Fired the editor of the op-ed pages.(but claimed he resigned) But the fury and uproar among it's readers continued...
Just another example of how the big talking liberal world really has very strict limits on acceptable conversation and thought . Why? Who decided on those limits? Why do I have to listen to him/them?
L'Havdil we also have our limits. Based on Torah and the word of Hashem
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Ora in town
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 4:44 pm
| leah233 wrote: | | Quite ironic that I got a passive aggressive hug for expressing ambivalence about free speech. |
Why would a hug be passive aggressive?
A hug is a hug is a hug...
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amother
Red
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 5:01 pm
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Questions? 100%. If you don’t make yourself available for questions they’ll turn elsewhere where you’ll likely not be happy with the answers they receive. Answer age appropriately but always welcome questions
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amother
Brown
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Mon, Jun 15 2020, 5:02 pm
| Ora in town wrote: | Why would a hug be passive aggressive?
A hug is a hug is a hug... |
A hug is so rarely just a hug on here, this is a forum with a lot of snarky women.
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