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Forum
-> Parenting our children
inwaiting
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 5:46 pm
so you should watch out not to swallow too much bec you can choke ....realy why do you ask us ..just to make a point or to see if you are right or you have to be right ...
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Apple pie
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 5:55 pm
Inwaiting, you sound very attacking...
I think amother wanted to have a genuine answer from us (since she cannot ask her rav and her husband did not give an answer) about how to reconcile her dh's practice (which is widespread in her circle) and what she learned elsewhere, that's it...
BTW, I do not have an answer, amother, sorry...
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inwaiting
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 6:07 pm
sorry if you feel this way apple pie it sounds like you are the kind of woman that will just fix the booboo by putting a bandage instead of going to the docter for medecine...and by the way im not attacking im just saying my opinoin is it allowed or not
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justanothermother
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 7:45 pm
I don't like to get in the middle of things, but inwaiting, you are not being very nice. Amother has a legitimate question, one that I myself am very curious to know what others have to say on the matter.
Amother, can you approach your husband and ask him about it purely as an intellectual exercise. Do not approach him as if you are disagreeing with what he does, but that you read or heard something that contradicts and you would like your very learned husband to teach you how to reconscile the two.
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greenfire
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 7:53 pm
what is a "predater" it sounds like someone lurking about aka predator
so btw although I hear the querie ... it is also a known thing not to cover or be embarrassed by the bris ... I wonder if that is why some men to go with their sons ...
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justanothermother
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 8:13 pm
You say pre-dators I say pre-daters
You say to-mato I say to-mah-to
pre-dators
pre-daters
to-mato
to-mah-to
Let's call the whole thing off.
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Piper
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 8:54 pm
justanothermother wrote: | You say pre-dators I say pre-daters
You say to-mato I say to-mah-to
pre-dators
pre-daters
to-mato
to-mah-to
Let's call the whole thing off. | ah,
Sick humour-gotta love it.
OP, have your DH take your son, supervise fully clothed while the son uses the mikvah, and then have him sit in the waiting room while his father uses it. Problem solved.
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justanothermother
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Wed, Jan 02 2008, 9:10 pm
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He*Sings*To*Me
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Tue, Jan 08 2008, 10:02 am
amother wrote: | inwaiting wrote: | to the amother who said that she hates that her husband goes with her son to mikva.I dont understand why you even mix in in those things if you husband said it is okay than why do you even have to look in a gemara ..it looks like there is some trust problem with your husbant .so learn to trust him..and dont go asking for shailos that is non of your busines. |
whew!!! see, damned if I dont' ask (from amother above), and damned if I ask...can't anyone give a reason without attacking me...I'm amother for a reason, you know...but that doesn't mean you have to be hostile. |
There's absolutely nothing wrong with approaching your rav. It's all in how you choose your wording. Pose your inquiry in such a way that suggests you are simply wanting to educate yourself about this particular matter. If you approach it in that manner, hopefully you will not seem chutzpadik. (For what it's worth, my only son is 5, and this same issue in a few years will be mine also.)
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SleepingBeauty
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Tue, Jan 08 2008, 11:41 am
I don't know about all you guys, but whenever my dh and I have an issue like this, I just tell him in a very respectful way (without him feeling like I'm second guessing him) that I trust him but this specific issue bothers me. We then both (or just me, with his knowledge) talk to a Rav we both respect and get his opinion. I think that just by swallowing and holding this against your dh you're asking for trouble. Just be mature (both of you!) and resolve this! Good Luck, just act like a true "aishes chayil" FEEL the trust in your dh and he'll feel it too!
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louche
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Tue, Jan 08 2008, 12:01 pm
greenfire wrote: | what is a "predater" it sounds like someone lurking about aka predator
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A “predater” is the opposite of a “postdater”, that is, someone who submits paperwork after the due date and writes an earlier date. As in, it’s January 1, 2008, you’re writing a tzedakah check but want to have it count on your 2007 taxes, so you date the check December 31, 2007.
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