Do I need to be more machmir than my parents?

miracleshappen

Mon, Jun 22 2020, 9:04 pm

I’m still maintaining major social distancing when I’m around my parents. They have not been in my house in months. However, they have no problem going into other people’s homes- they regularly go into my siblings homes, neighbors homes, etc.
If they don’t care about this stuff, do I need to continue operating this way?

amother

Coral

Mon, Jun 22 2020, 9:42 pm

Operating in general or in regards with your parents?? Once my parents 'announced' that we can start with visits to them once again, we did.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jun 22 2020, 11:22 pm

You don't need to do anything. You do what you want.

Your parents are doing what they want. They want to mingle with people and expose themselves to a certain level of risk. They want to be free to live their lives as they choose.

Covid19 is here for a while. They don't want to be stuck isolated and alone.

Now it's your turn to figure out your wants. Do you want to be 1000000000% sure that if your parents catch the infection, it wasn't from you. Or can you live with a lower percentage of certainty, like 50 or 75%?

Do you want to miss out on seeing your parents in your home for 2 years just to be sure, or do you want to allow them to take a chance, as they are mature adults who are capable of dealing with their lives?

If they are visiting others, do you want to take the risk of exposure to whomever they've been with?

It's time to use seichel to figure out how you want to live for the next few years. Figure out what you can handle.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 2:06 am

I am in the same situation. My in laws are going to crowded places that I wouldn't go to, they are inviting company for shabbat meals, and I'm not letting people into my house.
They both have health issues but they want to see the grandchildren so we have let them into our house. but my kids haven't been going to school and we are being so vigilant. I'm a little upset that they aren't being careful themselves.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 3:02 am

As soon as my parents went everywhere I went to visit them. I'm young and healthy bh. And we all probably got it at some point previously. It's pointless. They decide. They are fully thinking adults. Bh there has been no spike already a good few weeks. And I was tested twice negative in the last 3weeks. Bh bh. But I'm not in NYS.

Ora in town

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 7:15 am

miracleshappen wrote:

I've seen a few people in risk groups behaving like this: their children worry about their health and keep a distance, but they themselves want company, so they go and see other people (or other children)...

I kind of think that their behavior defeats the purpose... and in this case they should be rather with me than with strangers... but I also would not take them in when there are persons with acute symptoms in my household...

zaq

Tue, Jun 23 2020, 9:48 am

OP, you're no longer a child but an adult with a household of your own and maybe even children of your own. While you must still respect your parents, you are no longer required to do things the way they do, even more so if you have your doubts about some of the things they do. IOW, use the brains G-d gave you and quit looking at your parents as the fonts of all wisdom.

Be as scrupulous as you can be no matter what your parents do. If they overate and smoked, would you do the same? And davka BECAUSE your parents are going everywhere you should be even more scrupulous when it comes to contact with them.