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Do I have to tell them I'm pregnant?
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 1:47 am
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
Wow, this is such a strange thread. No, you shouldn't tell your potential employer because legally it makes no difference to whether or not you should be hired. It is inappropriate for you to tell them.

In contrast to this thread I'm going to talk about my husband. Because no one is going to make a thread saying "should my husband tell his potential employer I'm pregnant?"

My husband has only worked for companies that give fully paid paternity leave since we started having kids. In his field, this is now the norm as a benefit and I think its only right all companies follow so this ridiculous question doesn't hinder women.

With my first he took off 12 WEEKS paternity leave after working 5.5 months for the company. They even sent me flowers when I had the baby.

By my second he was working for a nonprofit four months before I gave birth, they were slightly stingier obvious, gave 3 weeks fully paid then the city/state thing was an option but he ended up just working from home a couple months after baby was born to help.

My point is a company that really values their employees, men and women, shouldn't care and legally they cant care. Investing in their employees(and their general mental/physical welfare) is investing in their company.

#endrant


Which country?
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 2:11 am
amother [ Emerald ] wrote:
Which country?


New York.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 2:35 am
Employers like my husband would turn themselves over for an employee that is upfront with upcoming vacations, simchas,going to Israel for son's barmitzvas and what not, births etc.

BUT NOT for those "law abiding citizens" who do not have a sixth sense of how to help a business function...and could not care less if it falls apart...

It often is a two way street- you think of the busines, the business thinks of you.
you understand the goals of the business, your more valuable for the business (and your more worth in.$$$$$$$$$.)
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 8:39 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
Employers like my husband would turn themselves over for an employee that is upfront with upcoming vacations, simchas,going to Israel for son's barmitzvas and what not, births etc.

BUT NOT for those "law abiding citizens" who do not have a sixth sense of how to help a business function...and could not care less if it falls apart...

It often is a two way street- you think of the busines, the business thinks of you.
you understand the goals of the business, your more valuable for the business (and your more worth in.$$$$$$$$$.)


The law is what it is because more often then not, historically at least, employers had this nasty habit of firing women when they got pregnant or had a baby. They still do when they feel they can get away with it... and yes, many employers will NOT hire you if they know you are pregnant(as evidenced by at least one woman in this thread).

Glad your husband is gladly giving full parental benefits to his employees and actively not discriminating against a certain gender! Smile
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 9:12 am
My husband says I'm ridiculous for even thinking about telling, the employer is seeking a long term employee (made this very, very clear) and would be a fool not to assume that at my age, I can be pregnant at any time.
Its just the piece of taking a leave in my first year thats niggling me.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 9:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I guess I wasn't clear- the 6 months was in response to how long after the job starts will I be leaving. I will be at the job for at least 5 months before leaving. Will work up to the last minute, as possible. And I'm only planning on 6 weeks or maybe 8 if they give it.


There's no right answer, and lots of factors to consider. What kind of a position is it, how much will it affect the business if a newly hired employee is on leave for 6 weeks, and how much work will my co-workers have to do in my stead. Based on those answers, I would decide if its ethical for me to hide a pregnancy from them during an interview. The question I would ask myself is - if it's fair for me (as a new hire), to push a situation unknowingly onto them, or should the employer be the one who decides if its acceptable to them or not.

I'm not looking at legalities here, I'm focusing on ethics and morals, and of course, Hashem's hand in it. Essentially, are we overlooking that Hashem will be the one who decides if we get the job or not? And if we believe Hashem guides our path in life, do we need to go about it in a possible unethical way? Our job is to do what's ethically and morally right, and leave the outcome in the hands of Hashem.

I'll just add this. If I were an employer, I would prefer the employee who's direct and honest. I would consider such an employee much more trustworthy and reliable, than one who chooses not to disclose information that will affect business operations. That's a very important factor for hiring long-term employees. If I'm weighing 6 weeks of minor disruptions vs acquiring a trustworthy, valuable employee, it's an easy choice, imo.

ETA - anyone know the halachas in regards to this situation?
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 9:21 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My husband says I'm ridiculous for even thinking about telling, the employer is seeking a long term employee (made this very, very clear) and would be a fool not to assume that at my age, I can be pregnant at any time.
Its just the piece of taking a leave in my first year thats niggling me.


Would it be fair to say that its not so much you taking leave the first year that's niggling you, but rather of how it will affect the employer's opinion of you once he's aware that you withheld this from him?
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 2:14 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
Would it be fair to say that its not so much you taking leave the first year that's niggling you, but rather of how it will affect the employer's opinion of you once he's aware that you withheld this from him?


I dont think so. I think they would be more surprised that I'm even sharing the news this extremely early. (Not to make an ayin hara but I'm not even in the clear of a 1st trimester mis yet)
I also don't think they will rescind the offer if they know I'm pregnant. It's just going to be an all around annoyance to deal with the logistics.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 4:36 pm
I found out I was pregnant within a few weeks of starting a new job (after moving to a different state). I was terrified to tell them, thinking they'd resent it and I would lose my job. B"H everything worked out although I did have to take unpaid leave. I ended up taking a much shorter maternity leave than I otherwise would. I was also afraid there would be complications ch"v that would make it difficult for me to return to work right away, and B"H that didn't happen either. My baby is 3.5 now. I don't know how I got through the first year but somehow we did (and I'm still at that job).
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