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I am not ready yet...!



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 6:03 pm
Although quarantine was difficult and challenging in many ways, I actually enjoyed being home with all the kids and not having them run all over the place and having other people's kids in my house. I loved them playing with each other and loved not having to discipline other people's kids (or ignore their misbehavior)... We live in a neighborhood where there aren't so many Jewish families and the kids around are not always the most amazing fit (frequent fighting, aggression, misbehavior). Before Covid it really bothered me but I tried to make the best of it. And now that restrictions are lifting, I'm really not ready for what's already happening, my kids around and having kids in and out etc. We also live in a place where I'm not comfortable with my kids biking/walking around outside by themselves (they're youngish) and I'm so torn about what I feel comfortable with regarding going to neighbors by themselves or biking etc without me actually sitting outside and watching them... I also don't love the idea of me not knowing where they are and I can't imagine they'll always want to keep letting me know where they're going...
Sorry for the rant...!! I'm just not really ready for this. I miss having my kids close and safe and just us. We really were okay all this time and enjoyed it, and I was so calm and able to be a better mom. It was great for our family. And now the kids are just like "can we go to x, can we ride outside, etc???"
Please help me come to terms with this, or any other advice welcome.
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 6:45 pm
I get you. Sorry, no advice.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 6:48 pm
I totally get you and feel the same. As tough as it was it had its upsides too. And I’ll miss the good parts.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:16 pm
Wow!! I can so relate! The best part of corona was being able to be authentic. My house was flying but noone was coming over so it didnt matter. I see now how so much of what we do is just maintaining a certain social norm (and im naturally a clean person- but I was always haning up jackets that were flung over the chairs and putting shoes away. Those arent dirty messes rather eye sores to nosy neighbors)
My 5 year old has a friend with a ton of energy. This girls mom calls and asks if she can come over way too often. Shes not socially off she just can not handle her daughters energy. This kid is a real handful. I wasnt happy when it became the norm to let kids back in. I wish I had the guts to say, my daughter and your daughter are best off playing together 1-2 hours a week max. They share very few common interests..
But alas I dont and im not trying to be the neighborhood witch...
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amother
Gray


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:18 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
Wow!! I can so relate! The best part of corona was being able to be authentic. My house was flying but noone was coming over so it didnt matter. I see now how so much of what we do is just maintaining a certain social norm (and im naturally a clean person- but I was always haning up jackets that were flung over the chairs and putting shoes away. Those arent dirty messes rather eye sores to nosy neighbors)
My 5 year old has a friend with a ton of energy. This girls mom calls and asks if she can come over way too often. Shes not socially off she just can not handle her daughters energy. This kid is a real handful. I wasnt happy when it became the norm to let kids back in. I wish I had the guts to say, my daughter and your daughter are best off playing together 1-2 hours a week max. They share very few common interests..
But alas I dont and im not trying to be the neighborhood witch...

I relate. We need a post covid support group.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:41 pm
Just Say No
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:47 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Just Say No


Said the none people pleaser. Laugh
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:56 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
Said the none people pleaser. Laugh

Lol, I guess I am an anti people pleaser type. LOL
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 7:58 pm
I was a better mom too. I need to learn from this experience, figure out why, and slow down our lives and concentrate more inwards.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jun 25 2020, 8:12 pm
amother [ Ruby ] wrote:
Just Say No


We do set up boundaries and just ignore the doorbell or tell the other kids "sorry, now is not good"... But my kids are clamoring for fun and friends. I know I'm going to have to start up with the Sunday playdates again and drive my kids all over town but I reallllllly don't want to... It's so not for me! I think I would be happy living on a farm far away from everyone lol.

I just wonder how much of this is just our family values of togetherness and we don't always need to be running to friends.... or if this is me and my discomfort and what is that about really, and do I have to work on it?
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