Boy girl problems | Imamother

behappy2

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 2:11 pm

I'm putting this here as an experiment to only get non anonymous posts.

The question itself is real.

My son is preteen and has a difficult time handling his younger sister's girliness. He gets embarrassed to be seen with her if she has a doll with her. He makes fun of her dolls calling them plastic. She is very nurturing and treats them like real ppl. She gets mad at him of course.

She even decided one of them was her brother and my son told her that if that is the case he isn't her brother anymore.

In general he loves her but if she gets a new hair accessory or anything he will tell her it's ugly or balk at being asked to compliment her.

How much of this is normal development and what is the best way to deal with it?

The approach I have been taking so far is explaining that it's healthy and good and one day she will make a great mom, aunt etc..also just trying to get him to be loving and caring and not hurtful. I tell my daughter to ignore him.

Sometimes it's just really frustrating.

Bubby6

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 2:27 pm

I think this is so typical brother/sister teasing. Boy might be getting negative attention from teasing. Girl gets negative attention from crying.

Both of them are looking for attention! This is a form of bullying so you have to stop it. Give it to them!

Boy gets to go something manly with you or DH like fishing, sports, biking, learning with the men.

Girl gets to bake, make pretty things with you.

It is definitely painful to watch the squabbling and I really feel for you, but as I said at the beginning, it's so typical.

behappy2

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 2:38 pm

Bubby6 wrote:

So you think he's doing it to get a rise out of all of us? That matches his behavior patterns. Didn't think of it.

lilies

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 2:55 pm

I'm wondering if he's got an older brother? If not, I would think it's behavior to be expected. I've seen it stem from jealousy. It might be easier to target her 'girlyness' than other things.

mommy#1

Fri, Jun 26 2020, 2:55 pm

I think it's normal. To an extent. If he's doing it every day and it really bothers your daughter then you should stop it. I remember when my brothers used to tease me when I got a new shabbos robe, and say nice nightgown. I probably didn't love it, but I know it was good-natured and it wasn't THAT often that they'd tease me about girly stuff. If it's kinda of like that, then I'd leave it. But if your daughter gets upset or it's every day, then it would be just annoying rather than good-natured teasing