What makes a women pretty

amother

Mint

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:04 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

If you have a pretty face but gained weight in your body, it's likely you gained weight in your face too. I don't like gaunt faces, but double chins and bloated cheeks aren't pretty either.

Don't state your opinion as fact, especially when its about how people look.

Some plus size models are gorgeous. Think ashley graham.

frumarochel

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:23 pm

This reply,

amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:

Confidence and a great smile

was very good. To respond in the visual/physical sense of "pretty", I'd say making an effort is the most important characteristic. It may be impossible to ever lose enough weight or to have a perfect figure; but eating wisely and getting healthy exercise does do a lot to help you look and FEEL pretty.

Making an effort to have an adequate wardrobe, even without spending much money, makes your appearance successful. I'm including getting clothes regularly washed and hung up in order so you can get dressed. Also provide outfits and accessories for your weather variations, for when your feet are sore, and other different circumstances. Make your choices flattering for how you look now! If you get slimmer, it will be joyous to revamp your wardrobe. Enjoy now and tomorrow!

Put on some makeup, it doesn't have to take a lot of time. Some face powder and lip gloss can finish a face. Makeup does not "fix flaws". It makes you look in touch with current times (or out of date if you fail to update once in a while).

Do something for your hardworking hands and feet. It doesn't have to be nail polish; lotion is a reward.

For women being "selfish" gives us the energy to tackle more tasks. Trying to do without leaves you feeling drained. Take a minute to look in the mirror. Touch up during the day. It's also a good example for children and other women to show you can be nice to yourself. We need to remember ourselves while taking care of everybody.

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Jun 30 2020, 12:30 pm

My knee jerk reaction is to be mad at OP's dh because he should appreciate any body changes that come along with childbirth. We go through so much that affects our bodies and if we want to lose weight, that's great but to make a wife feel they aren't at their best look because of weight gain is really unforgivable. That's not gratitude. It's like in certain cultures men had two or more wives. One who wasn't allowed to get pregnant so it wouldn't change their good looks and the other to have children with (I suppose she had good sized hips!) That's not a Jewish marriage of today.

A man who can't be attracted to a few extra pounds who truly loves his wife... I don't get it, something is wrong with his expectations. He should have put a clause into the ketubah and then the OP could have decided if she wanted to go through with it. Especially when the dh also gains weight... oy, how could he demand something like this from his wife? If a man wants to show off his wife, that's an issue as well. Don't men realize this can happen and probably will? It's the same when some men can't look at their pregnant wives because they have grown too "fat". Well, don't put them into that predicament then. Men like that don't deserve the great wives they have.

I'm trying to see it from the dh's view but I don't see justification. We are not guaranteed to remain looking exactly as we did when we agree to marriage. What if someone gets a bad skin condition or gets a scar? Marriage can't be fixed then? Seems too superficial of a marriage. What if a spouse loses a limb or her hair falls out/gets thin...I don't understand this occurring in a loving marriage. I would suggest counseling to help dh understand why he has these expectations. A real man should enjoy a real woman, with any of her imperfections merely adding to their love.