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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Would you let this age kids walk home themselves?
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 8:08 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
That is not fair to ask of the driver and that imposes on the other children/families.
Imagine if 15 families do that. If one can, so can the others. Now think about the poor kid at the last stop.


Well his other alternative is to go into the block to drop off the kids in front of their house. If he's only doing the corner, it's a courtesy to wait while the child is near their house, no?

In any case, I still think they can walk those few yards on their own.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 8:14 pm
I would allow for the way home, only now in nice weather, but not for the morning.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 8:49 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
Well his other alternative is to go into the block to drop off the kids in front of their house. If he's only doing the corner, it's a courtesy to wait while the child is near their house, no?

In any case, I still think they can walk those few yards on their own.


We don't have house stops and I would never think of asking a driver to wait, it's not their job. It's not fair to keep up the route and it's not fair to keep up traffic.
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Ora in town




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 9:07 pm
monkeymamma wrote:
Did you watch the video? The mom is saying that she would never let her kid go to school alone in America so not sure why you would show this to an American parent worried about her kids walking down the block by themselves.

Bestbubby just said that it was the norm in the USa in the 1970 to let children walk to school alone a few blocks, from first grade on.

She even quoted that this was considered a indicator for "school readiness", I.e. it was the normal thing to do...

That's exactly what we do in Europe, or at least where I live. They try to attribute school districts so that the children do not have to cross unsafe roads, and children are expected to go to school alone/in groups of friends, without their parents... In the 70ies this even applied to kindergarten/preschool, but european culture also became more "helicopter" by now...

When the school is further away, parents would send the children on their own from second or third grade... My friend let her boys go to school by public transport (about 30 min. way) from first grade on, not at the beginning, but towards to middle of the year... not always, but it happened...
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 9:20 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
OP, can you wait by the door of your house and just look out towards the corner?
For those saying they wouldn't let, do your kids never play outside and go 4 houses away? I'm talking normal houses, not houses on an acre.

By themselves at that age, without anyone watching from the door? No.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 9:25 pm
Thanks everyone for weighing in - I appreciate hearing both sides.

For clarity - I live in a multi family house with 6 families - 2 on each floor and my floor does not face the front so I cant look out. Also I cant just run down and look out for the bus - its a flight down, a small lobby and some front steps. So its not like I can hold the front door open while still looking inside at the kids and I cant trust my toddler and preschooler in the house alone, especially since I dont know how long the wait will be (not that I would do it even if it were just 2 minutes).

I was leaning towards letting them try it when a little while ago I met another neighbor of mine, and I asked her what she thought. She got all worked up and lectured me for five minutes about how she would never ever do such and thing and dont I know that anything can happen to them if their alone?? and who knows who can be walking down the street at the same time they get off the bus...... Sad Sad and now I got all nervous...

I think for tomorrow I will wait in front of the house. This way I can at least sit on the steps instead of standing, plus I can give my preschoolor some chalk or bubbles to play with instead of trying to entertain him at the corner. I cant see the corner from the stairs, but I can see the next house and a half from there so it will be less on their own, plus I can get up and look down the block every few minutes and check. I will also give my sons another safety talk. They also knows if they dont come straight home and etc... and I wont allow it again and they really wants to do this (they knows I'll keep my word) . Maybe after a few days of that, I'll feel ok with letting them do the whole way. I also like the idea of a tracking devices and am thinking about it....
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 9:39 pm
I am far from a helicopter mom. Yet I wouldn’t be comfortable letting them walk home alone. You can wait in front of your house. This way you can be in your zone yet watch them walk home.
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monkeymamma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 01 2020, 9:45 pm
Ora in town wrote:
Bestbubby just said that it was the norm in the USa in the 1970 to let children walk to school alone a few blocks, from first grade on.

She even quoted that this was considered a indicator for "school readiness", I.e. it was the normal thing to do...

That's exactly what we do in Europe, or at least where I live. They try to attribute school districts so that the children do not have to cross unsafe roads, and children are expected to go to school alone/in groups of friends, without their parents... In the 70ies this even applied to kindergarten/preschool, but european culture also became more "helicopter" by now...

When the school is further away, parents would send the children on their own from second or third grade... My friend let her boys go to school by public transport (about 30 min. way) from first grade on, not at the beginning, but towards to middle of the year... not always, but it happened...

What bestbubby said about 1970 may have been true then but right now its 2020, we are in the middle of a pandemic, there are protests on the streets, crime is up and cops are down so its not comparable to 1970. I would be careful right now especially since many people have left the city and gone upstate/out of state so there is more room for creepy people walking who are up to no good. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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DREAMING




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 1:08 am
I allow it but wait in front of my house so I can see.
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 1:22 am
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
We don't have house stops and I would never think of asking a driver to wait, it's not their job. It's not fair to keep up the route and it's not fair to keep up traffic.


My husband is a bus driver. By the younger kids, (not sure till what age), house stops, if there's no-one waiting outside, he actually waits until he sees kid going in. He feels it's a huge responsibility. His heart can't handle seeing a child locked out.... Yes, Sometimes moms are too busy and forget to make bus changes.

Now I got myself curious about the age. Will ask him tmrw.. And if age or street plays a roll in corner stops
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Einikel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 1:41 am
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
My husband is a bus driver. By the younger kids, (not sure till what age), house stops, if there's no-one waiting outside, he actually waits until he sees kid going in. He feels it's a huge responsibility. His heart can't handle seeing a child locked out.... Yes, Sometimes moms are too busy and forget to make bus changes.

Now I got myself curious about the age. Will ask him tmrw.. And if age or street plays a roll in corner stops


Your husband sounds like the kind of driver I would want my kid to have.
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 1:52 am
Einikel wrote:
Your husband sounds like the kind of driver I would want my kid to have.


Aw. Thanks. If I may boast, yes, he is amazing. Loves his job, joking around with th kids. Even has candies for crying kids coming up Smile
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 3:05 am
To add to what others are saying, I think it's helpful they are two siblings together. In the highly unlikely event something happens, the other one can go running and let you know asap. Also it's great that they know it's a privilege so are more likely to go straight home. I'm sure you've already spoken to them about not going with anyone, even if they look frum.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:32 pm
For those that said they wouldn't allow it -.at what age would you allow it?
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:35 pm
amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:
My husband is a bus driver. By the younger kids, (not sure till what age), house stops, if there's no-one waiting outside, he actually waits until he sees kid going in. He feels it's a huge responsibility. His heart can't handle seeing a child locked out.... Yes, Sometimes moms are too busy and forget to make bus changes.

Now I got myself curious about the age. Will ask him tmrw.. And if age or street plays a roll in corner stops


Our school policy for pre school is that the driver may not let a child off the bus if no one is waiting for the bus. It's basic safety. The child gets taken back to school and has to be picked up.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:45 pm
amother [ Powderblue ] wrote:
Our school policy for pre school is that the driver may not let a child off the bus if no one is waiting for the bus. It's basic safety. The child gets taken back to school and has to be picked up.


Yes, was gonna say same. Years ago I worked in a preschool and was bus monitor. The driver always waited to see that the kid got into the house. That was the rule.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:51 pm
My oldest was too impulsive to walk home alone at that age. I was comfortable having him get off the bus alone this past year when he was 8 turning 9. I think personally 8 is a good age to be responsible for yourself. I have conflicting feelings on what age you can be responsible for someone else. I think you have to know your kids maturity level. Now my older kid is 9 1/2 and I have let him walk around the corner to pick up my 5 1/2 year old from camp since I feel like if I put them both on the school bus in the fall they will walk home together from the same corner anyway. A year ago he would not have been mature enough for that responsibility.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 5:56 pm
Mama Bear wrote:
You can also request that the driver wait the 2 minutes from when they get off the bus until theyre at your driveway before he leaves, just to make sure they went straight home. Many drivers will do that.


So if the average bus has 15 stops, you would be OK with your child sitting an extra 45 minutes on the bus so the driver could watch every child get home, at 3 minutes per stop?
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Jul 02 2020, 6:03 pm
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
So if the average bus has 15 stops, you would be OK with your child sitting an extra 45 minutes on the bus so the driver could watch every child get home, at 3 minutes per stop?


Mama bear was probably talking about schools where parents are paying for door-to-door service. So if they do a corner stop for one kid, then the driver should definitely wait for the kid to walk home (that wouldn't take longer than driving around the block).
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