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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 11:59 am
amother [ Natural ] wrote: | Ummm..... tznius?? |
Tznius is between a woman and Hashem. The Tznius police aren’t welcome thank you.
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amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:00 pm
Fab4 wrote: | I wouldn't even have noticed, I'm so unobservant! I go in to do my shopping, not look at others fashion mistakes |
Exactly. Thank you. This was the point I was trying to make.
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amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:04 pm
amother [ Aqua ] wrote: | Here's the question that I think is causing arguments
Is showing cellulite a tznius issue? The same question applies to showing "lumps and bumps" as another person said.
Some people are saying its a tznius issue so as a frum site of course this is something to be said.
Some women are saying its not a tznius issue rather a fat issue. In that case it would not be appropriate to announce. |
For me, it’s neither a Tznius or Fat issue. We could dedicate a thread to “Is it Tznius to wear a white skirt and show cellulite? Please discuss.” (PSA: let’s not!)
The issue for me is a MYOB issue. Some people don’t like strangers pointing out their fashion flaws/accidents. And even those that welcome a comment about their dress don’t deserve to be publicly shamed on a public forum. Thank you.
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ExtraCredit
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:07 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | For me, it’s neither a Tznius or Fat issue. We could dedicate a thread to “Is it Tznius to wear a white skirt and show cellulite? Please discuss.” But please don’t.
The issue for me is a MYOB issue. Some people don’t like strangers pointing out their fashion flaws/accidents. And even those that welcome a comment about their dress don’t deserve to be publicly shamed on a public forum. Thank you. |
Some people don’t while some people do.
This is a public forum for women on both camps. The ones who appreciate awareness don’t mind this thread.
She was wise enough not to approach the stranger in the grocery but air her opinion here.
Why are you taking this as a personal insult?
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amother
Yellow
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:14 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | For me, it’s neither a Tznius or Fat issue. We could dedicate a thread to “Is it Tznius to wear a white skirt and show cellulite? Please discuss.” (PSA: let’s not!)
The issue for me is a MYOB issue. Some people don’t like strangers pointing out their fashion flaws/accidents. And even those that welcome a comment about their dress don’t deserve to be publicly shamed on a public forum. Thank you. |
Are you for real?? OP didn't name the store this happened in, or the city, or even the country! All we know is that this person was wearing a white skirt!
Do you honestly think this is considered publicly shaming someone??
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amother
Firebrick
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:21 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | This isn’t spreading awareness. This is publicly causing embarrassment to another which last time I checked was against Halacha. It is also IMHO really petty to spend your days checking other women’s clothes out. If you had children with you, you are teaching them that it is ok to look and comment on other people’s appearances. |
No one is checking anyone out. Some things are really noticeable without checking the person out. Most normal women appreciate this kind of awareness. I don't know what's your problem that you're so angry about this.
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little neshamala
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:29 pm
There was a time (for about 2 years) when I would wear nude stocking knee-his I HATE the feeling of tights. So after reassurring mysef with multiple checks that the top elastics werent visible, I happily went around town with my knee hi stockings.
After TWO YEARS my darling sister in law told me that everyone can see the knee his when I would sit, or move a certain way, they'd be visible. That theyve noticed for years. I was mortified. Had I known they were visible for even 1 day I would never have worn them.
So if someone wouldve posted that on imamother I wouldve been very grateful. Im still embarassed
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amother
Green
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:30 pm
Omggggg this past Shabbos I was getting ready to leave the house in my white dress, when I caught a glimpse of my light blue underwear straight through!!! My bedroom lighting didn’t pick it up when I looked in the mirror! I have a mirror by the front door and legit caught it as I was stepping out!
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crust
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:33 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | If your lumps and bumps are straining to escape a thin white skirt, then you don't have a fat problem.
You have a tznius problem. Nobody should be wearing clothing that tight, even if you are a string bean. And that goes for shell tops, too. Looking like a sausage stuffed in a casing is not a good look on anybody. Even if it covers every inch of you, it doesn't leave much to the imagination. You might as well just dip yourself in body paint.
You also have a fashion problem. Never mind panty lines, I can forgive that. What really gets me is when I can tell the color, or even the pattern on your underwear! Why would anyone wear purple polkadot underwear with a thin white skirt?
Learn how to dress for your body type, so that the style is flattering and eidel. Something that is tailored or cut properly will look 100% better on you, than whatever is trendy. Take a friend along with you when you shop, especially if you admire how well put together she is. ("Does this make my butt look big?" "YES!")
There are white denim or canvas skirts that are sturdy, tznius, and wash very well. You deserve better than some tissue thin fast-fashion that will fall apart or pill up the next time you wash it.
This one is perfect. No back slit, extended sizes, great price: https://seemorejeanskirts.stor.....skirt |
Great post ff
I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to tznius.
Tznius is about preserving your dignity.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:34 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | You arent fat. Cellulite doesn’t discriminate. You were actually a beautiful classy woman but you just picked the wrong skirt to wear. There were about 100 other shoppers in the store- men included. Many of them saw it too.
I’m just trying to help a sista out! |
...men included...
That’s where you lost me.
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little neshamala
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:40 pm
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote: | ...men included...
That’s where you lost me. |
I would be very embarassed if a woman saw my cellulite through my skirt.
I would be MORTIFIED if a man noticed it.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:47 pm
I always wear a panty slip and regular slip under skirts, especially white skirts. I’ve seen too many women, Jewish and not Jewish, wearing white with their underwear showing. I never know what the etiquette is. Should I tell them and embarrass them? But I feel terrible letting them walk around eight their underwear showing. Personally, I’d want someone to tell me.
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amother
Firebrick
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:00 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | If your lumps and bumps are straining to escape a thin white skirt, then you don't have a fat problem.
You have a tznius problem. Nobody should be wearing clothing that tight, even if you are a string bean. And that goes for shell tops, too. Looking like a sausage stuffed in a casing is not a good look on anybody. Even if it covers every inch of you, it doesn't leave much to the imagination. You might as well just dip yourself in body paint.
You also have a fashion problem. Never mind panty lines, I can forgive that. What really gets me is when I can tell the color, or even the pattern on your underwear! Why would anyone wear purple polkadot underwear with a thin white skirt?
Learn how to dress for your body type, so that the style is flattering and eidel. Something that is tailored or cut properly will look 100% better on you, than whatever is trendy. Take a friend along with you when you shop, especially if you admire how well put together she is. ("Does this make my butt look big?" "YES!")
There are white denim or canvas skirts that are sturdy, tznius, and wash very well. You deserve better than some tissue thin fast-fashion that will fall apart or pill up the next time you wash it.
This one is perfect. No back slit, extended sizes, great price: https://seemorejeanskirts.stor.....skirt |
THIS!! THANK YOU!!!
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Simple1
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:03 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote: | You could have just left it as:
PSA, if you are wearing a light or white skirt, do a double check of your backside to make sure you are not inadvertently revealing anything you don't want to share. |
This exactly. For those wondering about the defensive responses, compare it to the OP. IRL, you'd be less harsh. "Psst ...your skirt is stuck" Other woman acts embarrassed but thankful, and you reassure her, don't worry, these things happen.
As opposed to OP who said I was mortified for you. (Well at least I know it wasn't me because I don't wear white skirts ever.)
Last edited by Simple1 on Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:06 pm
Surplus wrote: | Some people don’t while some people do.
This is a public forum for women on both camps. The ones who appreciate awareness don’t mind this thread.
She was wise enough not to approach the stranger in the grocery but air her opinion here.
Why are you taking this as a personal insult? |
What if it was me in the white skirt in the grocery store?
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amother
Lemon
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:07 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | Please focus your eyes on your grocery shopping. Another woman’s cellulite is none of your business. |
Here we go. You’re criticizing someone trying to help out someone who doesn’t realize how they look?
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amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:08 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | Are you for real?? OP didn't name the store this happened in, or the city, or even the country! All we know is that this person was wearing a white skirt!
Do you honestly think this is considered publicly shaming someone?? |
If the person who it refers to is on here, reads it and feels embarrassed then yes.
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amother
Lemon
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | You arent fat. Cellulite doesn’t discriminate. You were actually a beautiful classy woman but you just picked the wrong skirt to wear. There were about 100 other shoppers in the store- men included. Many of them saw it too.
I’m just trying to help a sista out! |
You have nothing to apologize for. I believe you sincerely are trying to be helpful. The ones criticizing you have guilty consciences
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | So what? Only skinny people get to show off their bodies? Nope. |
Frum women shouldn’t be concerned with showing off their bodies for anyone except their dh
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amother
Mauve
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:12 pm
FranticFrummie wrote: | If your lumps and bumps are straining to escape a thin white skirt, then you don't have a fat problem.
You have a tznius problem. Nobody should be wearing clothing that tight, even if you are a string bean. And that goes for shell tops, too. Looking like a sausage stuffed in a casing is not a good look on anybody. Even if it covers every inch of you, it doesn't leave much to the imagination. You might as well just dip yourself in body paint.
You also have a fashion problem. Never mind panty lines, I can forgive that. What really gets me is when I can tell the color, or even the pattern on your underwear! Why would anyone wear purple polkadot underwear with a thin white skirt?
Learn how to dress for your body type, so that the style is flattering and eidel. Something that is tailored or cut properly will look 100% better on you, than whatever is trendy. Take a friend along with you when you shop, especially if you admire how well put together she is. ("Does this make my butt look big?" "YES!")
There are white denim or canvas skirts that are sturdy, tznius, and wash very well. You deserve better than some tissue thin fast-fashion that will fall apart or pill up the next time you wash it.
This one is perfect. No back slit, extended sizes, great price: https://seemorejeanskirts.stor.....skirt |
I know you mean well, but I don’t appreciate this post even though I’m in a minority. I love my large butt and I don’t feel compelled to hide it or “dress” for my body type so that others are not offended. I dress for myself and not others. And if you can see someone’s underwear, maybe you are looking at others too much.
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amother
Lemon
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Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:12 pm
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote: | I wasn't aware that fat shaming was a frum value.
Panty line showing, OK. Reminder of issues with backlighting, go for it.
Fat shaming. body shaming, how dare you show lumps and bumps? Nope. |
You’re making lots of assumptions and conclusions that op didn’t say or mean. Is this a trigger issue for you. I’m not thin and I saw nothing wrong with op post, she’s trying to be helpful.
Last edited by amother on Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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