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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Giving playgroup Morah something at the end of the year



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:29 pm
If you didn't pay your child's Morah throughout this time, did you give her anything at the end of the year?

I'm a Morah and I'm honestly hurt. Nobody paid, I told them not to. Out of all the kids only 2 gave me something at the end of the year. I don't need "stuff" or money but even a card! I also sent videos and sent home projects. Did everyone forget?

I worked so so so hard from September to March! I know I didn't serve your children the whole year but nothing? Not even a thank you text?

Is this normal??
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:35 pm
I always send thank you cards. I really appreciate everything they do for my child.
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paintbrush




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:35 pm
I don’t get that much at the end of a typical year, maybe two or three. It’s more common to give something Chanukah and Purim time. It is nice to receive notes though, I understand how it’s hurtful not to get!
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:39 pm
paintbrush wrote:
I don’t get that much at the end of a typical year, maybe two or three. It’s more common to give something Chanukah and Purim time. It is nice to receive notes though, I understand how it’s hurtful not to get!


By us its more accepted to do Chanuka and the end of the year rather than Purim. But really I don't need the gift card. I just want a little recognition Sad. I know it's probably immaturity, and I am young - I feel like this wouldn't bother me so much in 10/20 years from now. But it still hurts...
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
If you didn't pay your child's Morah throughout this time, did you give her anything at the end of the year?

I'm a Morah and I'm honestly hurt. Nobody paid, I told them not to. Out of all the kids only 2 gave me something at the end of the year. I don't need "stuff" or money but even a card! I also sent videos and sent home projects. Did everyone forget?

I worked so so so hard from September to March! I know I didn't serve your children the whole year but nothing? Not even a thank you text?

Is this normal??


Honestly this year was unique in so many ways, parents are overly stressed and most aren’t thinking about it. As a teacher this year I also got almost no end of the year presents and I normally do.
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thriver




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 2:30 pm
🤗 it is so hard to not get recognition. People don’t realize how far a small thank you will go. If you haven’t thanked your morahs yet, you still can!
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bobeli




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 03 2020, 3:05 pm
Don’t take it personal, this year is different.
I usually give at Chanukah, purim and end of the year. This year I didn’t do end of the year for many reasons even so most of my kids had remote school and the teachers where wonderful.
For many people the reason could be stress, been overwhelmed, financial insecurity, stores closed, busy because changes in summer plans, etc.
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happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 04 2020, 11:28 pm
thriver wrote:
🤗 it is so hard to not get recognition. People don’t realize how far a small thank you will go. If you haven’t thanked your morahs yet, you still can!


I do still plan on it TMI
I usually give some sort of treats w a thank you card. The year ended so difficult, I didn't get around to getting anything. I do have a list of thanks yous to text/whatsapp, as well as a list of nichum aveilim I have to get around to . One day...
But really , gifts cost money and many of us are hard on a buck right now. But to say thanks you doesnt cost anything and is so meaningful to the teachers. We all worked hard but that doesn't mean we don't have to thank the teachers.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 1:42 am
Hi Op, I can really relate. I am in exactly the same position. Nobody paid me since March, I spent hours and $ on preparing and delivering packets and making videos to email to my kids, all the way up to Shavuos! I got 2 gifts, out of 12 kids. Trying not to feel sad and unappreciated. Life is just different right now for so many people.... but I understand you are feeling disappointed. Its human nature. and you are in good company Smile
To be honest, I am missing the nice cards and notes even more than the gifts...
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familyfirst




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:42 am
That is so disappointing!
One would think that a teacher who tells the parents not to pay should be given a larger gift- it a smaller one!
I don’t think this is an age issue. Every person if every age bracket needs and thrives in recognition and appreciation. It is a basic human need.
Sorry for your disappointment. I thing to apologize about.
And to the rest of us reading this, May it be a lesson to express thanks to our children’s teachers.

May next year be a much better one. OP, HaShem knows. I hope that offers some measure of comfort
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:46 am
That's really not right. We have a gift store in our neighborhood, and she actually told me she has triple the amount of business than a usual year. ie: people are investing MORE in end-of-year gifts, maybe, at least in part, to show appreciation for the lost revenue of the gannanot/morahs.
On the flip side, many of the parents in your playgroup might be lacking funds, and they feel bad just sending a note with no gift, so they don't send anything?
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:59 am
I would really like to give my kids' teachers a note... Present overwhelms right now (trying to figure out what). What would be a nice small EASY thing that I could give along with a note? I am just touched by the love and care and hard work I know they put into my little kids this year. But a note alone seems skimpy.

In US I would give gift cards, but I'm in Israel now and don't know what/how/where etc.

And as far as my big kids go... I don't think I can give. I contributed to money being collected but I honestly don't even know what some of their teachers look like, or who exactly I would need to give to. (Different subjects, some main teachers on maternity leave, etc... THere's no clear "my Morah" for any of them.)
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 4:03 am
amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:
I would really like to give my kids' teachers a note... Present overwhelms right now (trying to figure out what). What would be a nice small EASY thing that I could give along with a note? I am just touched by the love and care and hard work I know they put into my little kids this year. But a note alone seems skimpy.

In US I would give gift cards, but I'm in Israel now and don't know what/how/where etc.

And as far as my big kids go... I don't think I can give. I contributed to money being collected but I honestly don't even know what some of their teachers look like, or who exactly I would need to give to. (Different subjects, some main teachers on maternity leave, etc... THere's no clear "my Morah" for any of them.)


I generally give a shmerling's chocolate bar along with the card or note.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 5:41 am
I live in Lakewood and I generally give a card with a check by chanuka, purim and end of year. I gave on purim this year and they only had playroup till 2 wks later so I didn’t bother giving the end of year. The Morah didn’t do anything from purim so why should I give her a gift after that?
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 7:18 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
I live in Lakewood and I generally give a card with a check by chanuka, purim and end of year. I gave on purim this year and they only had playroup till 2 wks later so I didn’t bother giving the end of year. The Morah didn’t do anything from purim so why should I give her a gift after that?

This has nothing to do with OP, who DID send and spend time for her kids for NO PAY.

OP, how painful it is to not be thanked. I’m sorry.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 8:27 am
If you got two gifts, that's more than many of us who work in other jobs. I do Purim and chanukah and not end of the year. This year was a crazy stressful year for everyone so please understand that.
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 8:33 am
watergirl wrote:
This has nothing to do with OP, who DID send and spend time for her kids for NO PAY.

OP, how painful it is to not be thanked. I’m sorry.


She told them not to pay. In that case she should've stopped services. Best would've been to ask a shaila. Gifts by definition are optional, so there should be no hurt. Payment which usually is not optional should've been determined by a Rav. They should've at least verbalized a thank you for projects sent. Maybe they meant to but forgot with all the craziness going on in everyone's homes.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 9:18 am
watergirl wrote:
This has nothing to do with OP, who DID send and spend time for her kids for NO PAY.

OP, how painful it is to not be thanked. I’m sorry.


When I read her post I thought she wrote that she worked so hard from September to March which is why I wrote that I gave purim time. I wasn’t under the impression that she worked after March. But if she did actually work after that then yes it feels horrible not to be thanked.
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