Do you set the table for dinner/supper?

Rachel Shira

Thu, Jul 02 2020, 9:54 pm

Since being home and eating together every night, yes, I’ve been setting the table (usually with paper plates and plastic forks) but I always just put the pans on the table family style. Before this, when we would only once in a while have dinner together, we usually each ended up grabbing what we needed as we needed it. I have to say I like this way better.

silverlining3

Thu, Jul 02 2020, 10:01 pm

Just One wrote:

No I don't! For some reason I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority. C'mon can we have some more women confident to speak up!?

Many spoke up.... I don't call putting a tablecloth on, what I do, setting the table.

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 12:29 am

I don't get why I should set the table if the toddler (whichever kid it happens to be) is just going to climb up and walk off with the cutlery. Plus setting the table means I have to make sure no dishes break.

I'd rather just hand people a plate with food on it and a fork/ spoon, and let them sit and eat. That way the toddler will go after the food or the people eating, not after the dishes and cutlery...

I think I used to set the table, before I had kids. DH sets it on Shabbat morning, and I hate it because it means constantly watching the table until we eat, and we've had more than one close call.

rowo

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 2:20 am

Not a fancy set table, but yes, dishes, cutlery, glass cups, napkin holder and jug of water.
My kids set the table and we eat together. (My husband doesn’t always make it, but I’ll still sit with them)
I bring the baking tray or dishes to the table and everyone helps themselves, with little kids getting help.
After the meal everyone helps clear the table.

rowo

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 2:23 am

amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:

We set the table right before we eat, and toddlers used to get toddler plates and cutlery (No toddlers in our house at the moment) the ikea plastic plates and bowls.
They learn pretty quickly

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 2:34 am

rowo wrote:

We set the table right before we eat, and toddlers used to get toddler plates and cutlery (No toddlers in our house at the moment) the ikea plastic plates and bowls.
They learn pretty quickly

I would have to give everyone toddler plates and cutlery if I didn't want dishes to break. My toddlers climb up to the table and play with the plates, or walk off with them.

I know that I can train them not to touch the glass. I have better things to fight with them about. Not setting the table avoids a fight, and I'd rather put my energy into making sure they don't jump off the back of the couch.

Britmummy

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 7:20 am

It never occurred to me not to! We don't have a tablecloth on weekdays, though - just wipeable placemats.
How do glasses, cutlery, napkins, condiments etc get onto the table if no-one sets it? I honestly can't picture it.

My kids usually set the table and DH clears it afterwards, if I'm cooking. Other way round if he cooks. Everyone puts their own cutlery and crockery straight into the dishwasher.

ETA : many, many years since shana rishona!

amother

Papaya

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 7:26 am

Pregnant with #5 and extreme nausea. I yell at DH from the sofa "there's xyz in the fridge! don't forget to feed the kids too!!"
I guess this belongs in the dysfuntional thread lol TMI

SuperWify

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 1:54 pm

I should make a poll- plastic or real for dinner?

I use corelle when have meat because I have a meat dishwasher. When it’s dairy I usually use plastic cuz I hate washing dishes but for hot foods especially soup I’ll use real.

amother

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 2:51 pm

Just One wrote:

No I don't! For some reason I'm pretty sure I'm in the majority. C'mon can we have some more women confident to speak up!?

So the "Donts" definitely are the majority! Makes me feel better.

But I'm actually surprised that so few shana rishona do. (unless very few are on here) I did it till I got pregnant with my first. Maybe I'll start again once all the kids are out of the house and its just the 2 of us again.

amother

Aqua

Fri, Jul 03 2020, 3:02 pm

I don’t but then again we don’t even eat at the table. Kids are all little and eat in their high chairs.( yes even the 4 year old it restrains him)
And dh or I take food whenever we have a min and usually eat in front of the tv. Dinner for dh sometimes doesn’t happen till 10pm. Even Shabbos we don’t set the table unless we are having company just bring in the plastic dishes when we bring in the food in the tins.

amother

Purple

Sat, Jul 04 2020, 4:46 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

I don't care about formality, but eating together as a family is important. Sit with your kids and eat with them. They will learn table manners and develop pleasant associations with healthy eating habits.

Obviously, if dh isn't around for weeknight suppers, he can't participate, but there's a value in having the family sitting together around the table.

I'm not trying to be judgy here. Everyone's circumstances are different. But as someone who's made a real effort to have family dinners, I can tell you that it's paid off. My kids are big now, and they often tell me how much it means that we had meals together over the years.

amother

White

Sun, Jul 05 2020, 9:35 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I’m not saying not to do this. I think it’s great. But I also don’t think it’s as huge a deal as people make it. We always ate together growing up. And I never had much of a relation with my family. I am very close with my kids, but supper is not so official here, so we don’t all sit down together. Shabbos meals are official family meals of course. I spend a lot of quality time with my kids outside of meal time. That’s what’s important.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Jul 05 2020, 9:46 am

During the week, dh occasionally works till late so it's me and the kids. We eat at kitchen table with placemats plastic plates and cutlery. The only things I end up washing are pots and serving spoons. Since it's a small table I usually grab a chair off to the side while kids eat. When dh comes home we all sit around where we find room while he eats.
On the days dh is home early enough, we usually sit at dining room table and all is set in plastic. I bring all food to table and everyone serves themselves.
I only serve in dishes and real cutlery shabbos and yomtov.
Plastic is the easiest cleanup.

clowny

Sun, Jul 05 2020, 10:34 am

The most I do to set the table is put a tablecloth and a pile of napkins. Cutlery gets served together with their portions. Drinks and cups gets put on the table when the first one at the table gets thirsty and decides to bring it. It’s a very non formal meal in our house. But I do make it my business to make sure it’s a family meal so we get to have some family time together. Although dh is sometimes not home from work yet to join.