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S/O Lazy Mom



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:04 pm
I don’t believe laziness equals dysfunction so I want to address laziness specifically.
I am guilty of being lazy when it comes to housework. I’d try to prepare the simplest dinners and do the bare minimum to keep the house habitable. I do have cleaning help twice a week so it never gets to the point of smelly but I don’t do much in between her visits.
I’m not by nature a neat person and a clean house doesn’t give me much satisfaction.
I do delegate age appropriate tasks to my kids, nothing close to a 5 yr old changing the baby’s diaper.
I do wish I’d be more motivated and enjoy keeping house and cooking elegant meals but I’d rather spend my time reading an interesting book.
Is there anything wrong or dysfunctional here?
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israelmama




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:11 pm
Nope- nothing wrong! Different strokes for different folks... some people need to have their house spotless and others can keep a somewhat neat house and others will have a messy house and be fine with it. All are okay as long as everyone is healthy and happy.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 2:40 pm
israelmama wrote:
Nope- nothing wrong! Different strokes for different folks... some people need to have their house spotless and others can keep a somewhat neat house and others will have a messy house and be fine with it. All are okay as long as everyone is healthy and happy.

That makes me feel better. Thanks.
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Brachie69




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 3:28 pm
israelmama wrote:
Nope- nothing wrong! Different strokes for different folks... some people need to have their house spotless and others can keep a somewhat neat house and others will have a messy house and be fine with it. All are okay as long as everyone is healthy and happy.


Couldn't have said it better - healthy Mom = healthy household. If you are not wired to keep an immaculate house and nobody feels unhappy with a little disarray, enjoy your books and stay mentally happy and healthy!
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Jul 05 2020, 3:32 pm
You sound like me. I actually went to therapy for this because I was feeling dysfunctional and the therapist sort of made me realize that I am being hard on myself because of social pressure. Some people have different priorities and that is ok. As long as my kids, husband and myself are l are happy, loved, fed have clean clothes, not in debt..
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:22 am
The only thing that bothers me about your post is that you said you'd rather read a good book, which makes it sound very much as if you're neglecting your kids in favor of reading. There's nothing wrong with having a simple lifestyle, it's important to teach children domestic skills as early as possible even if you have household help, and why not provide employment for someone else if you can afford to and dislike housework? After all, nobody looks at you like a lazy bumster if you use an accountant because you hate doing your own taxes or hire a tutor because you have no patience for teaching your kids.

So if you said I'd rather use the time playing with my kids or exercising or conversing with dh, that would be great. But if you're just reading all day and ignoring your household and family, that sounds more like self-indulgence than self-care, and is setting a poor example for your children.
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happy chick




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:35 am
And I have a different theory. IMO , there is no such thing as lazy. You're either tired, or you don't like doing the chore that needs to be done. If it's none of the above you would be doing it.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Mon, Jul 06 2020, 8:40 am
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
The only thing that bothers me about your post is that you said you'd rather read a good book, which makes it sound very much as if you're neglecting your kids in favor of reading. There's nothing wrong with having a simple lifestyle, it's important to teach children domestic skills as early as possible even if you have household help, and why not provide employment for someone else if you can afford to and dislike housework? After all, nobody looks at you like a lazy bumster if you use an accountant because you hate doing your own taxes or hire a tutor because you have no patience for teaching your kids.

So if you said I'd rather use the time playing with my kids or exercising or conversing with dh, that would be great. But if you're just reading all day and ignoring your household and family, that sounds more like self-indulgence than self-care, and is setting a poor example for your children.

You can’t win on this site. Self-care is the buzz word but if you do it too much you apparently become self-indulgent. And woe betide anybody who dares to do self anything without employing a cleaning lady. Yet having a cleaning lady isn’t indulgent or entitled. Only if you read a book for longer than the posters on here deem ok are you a bad influence on your kids. On this site however, having a maid clean up after you shows what a great mother you are. 🤷‍♀️🤔🙈
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