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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Motek
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 Wed, Jul 13 2005, 5:51 pm
I've heard different opinions about trusting your kids. My parents trusted us and we lived up to that trust. I did some traveling post seminary and at some later point, my father told me he didn't lose a moment's sleep over me out there on my own.
Other parents trust their kids and their kids betray that trust and the naive parents end up suffering.
Still other parents check their kids' drawers, listen in on calls occasionally, to keep tabs on them.
So what do you think about trusting your kids and how can you create an environment where you can trust them and they live up to your faith in them?
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Tefila
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Wed, Jul 13 2005, 6:01 pm
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I think basically we should trust them though once in awhile keep tabs on them.Truthfully I believe kids shopuld have an open conversation w/h parents w/hout parents being judgemental and whatever is on their minds usually will come out. But that means encouraging our kids to talk and be a listening ear.
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Motek
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Sun, Jul 17 2005, 3:19 pm
It has been observed, that quite often, people will meet your expectations of them in teachers-students and parents-children relationships.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe was certainly aware of people's yetzer haras, and he referred to it in sichos to children, yet I know of no sichos to children or about children which conveyed anything but the Rebbe's confidence in them.
My mother kept her pocketbook in a kitchen drawer and we were able to take money from it when we needed to. I like the idea of leaving money out and accessible. It conveys an unspoken message - we trust you, we know you won't take money without permission, we will give you what you need.
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Tefila
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Sun, Jul 17 2005, 11:16 pm
Hm I leave my pocket book around too. But we have as did my ancestors  an unspoken rule noone goes into mummys purse at any time  they will give it to me to give them even if it's a set of keys etc
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housewife
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Wed, Aug 03 2005, 5:17 pm
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I believe very much in trusting your kids. I also do it with my students with lots of success. Before every test I tell my students, I believe you are honest, I will even go out of the class in the middle of the test. I tell my students you will answer before G-d not me. During the whole year maybe one student cheated. I think when you trust your kids, students, they will live up to your trust
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