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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Neighbor has a backyard camp
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 7:50 am
avrahamama wrote:
Every single backyard camp in my neighborhood has a certified lifeguard. The parents all said that if their teens want to make a backyard camp they need to get certified or bring on a friend that is certified. One even called me and asked me to give swim instruction to their littles. I dont know a single person who owns a pool and would open their yard with a pool to 20 little children without any proper supervision.


Good to know. Halevai everyone took this issue as seriously.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 9:07 am
A wise rabbi taught me years ago:”you catch more flies with honey”
A few times neighbors have told me about an issue of which I’d been clueless and then we were able to fix it and send a “sorry” gift like flowers.
Only once did I have a truly nasty unreasonable neighbor who blocked our driveway screamed at us and muttered anti Semitic slurs at us too so communication had opposite effect- B”H after a few years we moved.
Hatzlocha
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 9:38 am
I thought about OP's situation and I feel really bad for her. I have had to deal with summers of noise right near my house and it was annoying to hear noise even through closed windows. In my situation the noise was legal, limited to daytime hours, and there was nothing I could do but grit my teeth and deal with it.

I really and truly think that other than trying to talk to the neighbor nicely, there isn't anything OP can do. I mean, the neighbor isn't finding a new location now once she's already started the season. People often choose a day camp based on the location and she wouldn't just be able to switch, even if she could manage to procure a different location, which is also highly unlikely. Perhaps if OP speaks to her, she might arrange something for second half?

And then I thought, what if it wasn't a day camp for money? What if this neighbor was a Bubby with many einiklech who come to her every day between 10 and 2 instead of day camp and play in her backyard? Or what if the neighbor was doing a round robin, but because she has the biggest backyard, all the mothers chose to rather come to her house and run their designated day from there? What if all the neighbors' kids of the block would congregate every day at this specific neighbor's backyard because she has the best swing set? In all of these scenarios, the only solution would be to talk nicely to the neighbor to express your frustration with the noise. She might try to do something about it, and she might not, depending on her personality and her ability to do something.

The only difference in the current situation is the side point that the neighbor is making money. Is that really the part that you're having a hard time with?



When dealing with neighbors, there's always that tricky balance between remaining friendly, direct communication when something bothers you, and knowing when to let go because there's nothing you can do about it. We expect that all our neighbors will do their part in maintaining the relationship with others. However, in extreme situations where a certain neighbor is consistently disregarding their obligations to be neighborly, acting against basic mentchlichkeit, and not caring about others' discomfort, it may be time to consider a move. It's not unheard of that people move away because of one specific neighbor who ruined their living experience.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:20 am
I did not expect this thread to blow up like this. I'm not sure why everything on imamother has to become a fight.

To clarify (yet again), they are splashing in a kiddie pool. I'm not sure what level of observation that has but I don't consider it to be any of my business. The parents who put their kids in this camp are responsible for checking.

I'm pretty sure they will refuse to move to a playground for part of the day. I got noise machines and earplugs and I will talk to them about keeping it down.

My part in this thread is done. Thank you to everyone who tried to help.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:24 am
pause wrote:


The only difference in the current situation is the side point that the neighbor is making money. Is that really the part that you're having a hard time with? .


Honestly, no. I don't think she is earning much in this scenario and I would have the same issue with any of your above examples. I'm sensitive to noise and it's preventing me from working in peace and preventing my baby from napping properly.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:26 am
avrahamama wrote:
Every single backyard camp in my neighborhood has a certified lifeguard. The parents all said that if their teens want to make a backyard camp they need to get certified or bring on a friend that is certified. One even called me and asked me to give swim instruction to their littles. I dont know a single person who owns a pool and would open their yard with a pool to 20 little children without any proper supervision.
You learn something new every day. I did backyard camps growing up, but nobody had a pool. Obviously if there is a pool there would need to be someone on guard. I just never heard of that before.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Honestly, no. I don't think she is earning much in this scenario and I would have the same issue with any of your above examples. I'm sensitive to noise and it's preventing me from working in peace and preventing my baby from napping properly.

Right, that's what I thought.

That paragraph was mainly addressed to posters who felt you should report because it's illegal. But as I kept reiterating in my previous posts, your issue is the noise (which could occur in many other LEGAL scenarios), and the solution has to address that specific issue of the noise.


Maybe you could suggest to your neighbor to add some quiet down-time to her schedule every day at the same time so that even if it's just a short time, you'll know you're getting that quiet time. Or maybe they could do arts and crafts indoors, and maybe do it right before or right after lunch (which I would assume is also indoors) so that you get a little bit of a stretch of silence?

Good luck! I know it's tough.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:33 am
pause wrote:
Right, that's what I thought.

That paragraph was mainly addressed to posters who felt you should report because it's illegal. But as I kept reiterating in my previous posts, your issue is the noise (which could occur in many other LEGAL scenarios), and the solution has to address that specific issue of the noise.


Maybe you could suggest to your neighbor to add some quiet down-time to her schedule every day at the same time so that even if it's just a short time, you'll know you're getting that quiet time. Or maybe they could do arts and crafts indoors, and maybe do it right before or right after lunch (which I would assume is also indoors) so that you get a little bit of a stretch of silence?

Good luck! I know it's tough.


The point is op shouldn't have to negotiate quiet time with an illegal operation. There's a reason a residential backyard would not get permission to host a backyard camp with so many children. The noise is a direct outgrowth of the illegal activity, because backyards are not meant to be all day long playgrounds. Op shouldn't even have to put up with two hours of it.
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pause




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 10:34 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
The point is op shouldn't have to negotiate quiet time with an illegal operation. There's a reason a residential backyard would not get permission to host a backyard camp with so many children. The noise is a direct outgrowth of the illegal activity, because backyards are not meant to be all day long playgrounds. Op shouldn't even have to put up with two hours of it.

False. Many legal daycamps with hundreds of children operate in residential areas.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 11:23 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
The point is op shouldn't have to negotiate quiet time with an illegal operation. There's a reason a residential backyard would not get permission to host a backyard camp with so many children. The noise is a direct outgrowth of the illegal activity, because backyards are not meant to be all day long playgrounds. Op shouldn't even have to put up with two hours of it.


This is not true in NY. There are quite afew legally run daycamps in my neighborhood that are in residential areas and they're outside all day. There's a large camp in back of my in laws house and they're yelling and singing on mega phones all day. It's a legal camp, they're doing this for years already.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 3:28 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
This is not true in NY. There are quite afew legally run daycamps in my neighborhood that are in residential areas and they're outside all day. There's a large camp in back of my in laws house and they're yelling and singing on mega phones all day. It's a legal camp, they're doing this for years already.
In someone's back yard? Just because someone is doing this for years does not mean it is legal, just saying.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 3:33 pm
I would also question the legality of it and not just assume because it has been there for years.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 07 2020, 3:35 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
In someone's back yard? Just because someone is doing this for years does not mean it is legal, just saying.


It's not in someone's backyard, it's in a park surrounded by houses in a residential area. I know for sure they're legal.
I also know of 2 daycamps in backyards that are legal. Many schools that have daycamps here are in residential areas and they have lots of activities outside.
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