Today | Imamother

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Today

Previous 1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Are you fasting today?

Yes I am fasting

31%

[ 61 ]

No, I'm not fasting but I'm pregnant/nursing

30%

[ 60 ]

I am fasting and I'm pregnant/nursing

[ 5 ]

I'm not fasting and I'm not pregnant/nursing

35%

[ 70 ]

Total Votes : 196

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:18 am

tigerwife wrote:

You can’t understand why a woman, who may have her period/ be pregnant/ post partum/ caring for multiple small children might have a harder time fasting than a man? Interesting. I wouldn’t compare us to Muslims either, as we are rachamim.

I grew up fasting all the fasts, while the women in my husband’s family fast only YK and 9 Av, so he can’t understand why on earth I’d volunteer to fast the “minor” fasts.

Ironically, I had to force myself to eat this morning despite having no appetite as I am sick and needed to take my meds with food.

May everyone who is fasting have an easy fast!

Of course I can understand, I've done it myself. What I can't understand is a blanket exemption for women. We're the healthiest, best nourished generation of women in the history of the world. We ought to participate in mourning the destruction of Yerushalayim.

Why do you think that this particular halacha is not observed in some sectors? We do a lot of things that are hard. It's interesting that fasting has fallen by the wayside.

Like you, I hope everyone who is fasting has an easy time of it, and may we merit seeing these fast days turned into days of celebration.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:21 am

tigerwife wrote:

You can’t understand why a woman, who may have her period/ be pregnant/ post partum/ caring for multiple small children might have a harder time fasting than a man? Interesting.

She clearly stated, "To clarify, I'm talking about healthy women who are not pregnant or nursing."

Frumme

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:26 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

This. It's hard to understand the rationale behind not fasting just because you're a woman. Last I checked, women also mourn the destruction of Yerushalayim.

Every year, millions of Muslim women fast dawn to dark for the full thirty days of Ramadan. They don't all drop dead. We should be ashamed that so many among us can't even show a fraction of their devotion.

To clarify, I'm talking about healthy women who are not pregnant or nursing.

They apparently aren't allowed to fast when they're on their period, so they get a reprieve then (although I think they're required to make up for it later)

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:33 am

Frumme wrote:

They apparently aren't allowed to fast when they're on their period, so they get a reprieve then (although I think they're required to make up for it later)

Yes, they do make it up later, but the exemption during Ramadan is because of impurity, not because they are too weak to fast. Femaleness per se doesn't exempt them from fasting.

itsmeima

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:47 am

amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:

I’m trying to fast until chatzos.
I feel guilty that I’m not doing the whole thing because I really should.. no excuses now.
I get so hungry that turns into weakness and I end up in bed. I’ve done it for years but for some reason it’s become harder for me.
My family members all fast and I can’t let them know that I won’t be.

Same here, it's become harder and harder every year. I would love to understand why.

essie14

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 11:51 am

I cant fast the minor fasts anymore. I get terrible migraines, dehydrated, and have ended up in the ER too many times.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 12:02 pm

I am fasting. I am not pregnant or nursing and my youngest child is 5. I would love not to fast though! Can somebody help me understand why certain chasidim say that you don't have to. I would really like to understand. And if I can find a leniency for myself I would really be happy but thank God I am healthy and have no reason not to

yonabets

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 12:03 pm

I am fasting
I used to fast and work but this is too much for me now.So I miss work on fast day.
I am sleeping the all day .

southernbubby

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 1:09 pm

Fasting but staying in bed. Rav said that if I feel weak, to drink liquid according to the shiurim.

amother

Red

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 1:17 pm

No, not fasting. Usually do.

Had Shingrix vaccine (1st of 2) last night and feel really awful today -- bad headache, pain at injection site and all over achiness. Also have to work all day and it is going up to 40 degrees celcius. Mad

amother

Copper

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 1:46 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

no Muslim women do not

They abstain from food but drink as much as they want

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 1:55 pm

The idea of women not fasting is that they're taking care of their families, which is more important.
That's why many chassidish girls do fast, and also when they're older and don't have little kids at home. Personally, I'm chassidish and I fasted the four fasts (17 Tammuz, 10 Teves, Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur) till I became pregnant with my first. Since then I was always either pregnant or nursing or had a baby under two even though I wasn't nursing anymore. So I only fasted YK and when not pregnant Tisha B'Av (somehow Tisha B'Av was always a nidcha when I was pregnant, so it was "easier".)
I don't fast on Tzom Gedalya for fear of becoming too weak to fast on YK.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 2:23 pm

I fast unless/until I don’t feel well. Growing up I always fasted (MO, OOT). Now in Lakewood, I would call us yeshivish. My DH learned by Reb David (Brisk). Brisker women often don’t fast (except YK & TB’A) or so I’m told.

The way it was explained to me is that it is not be makeil on fasting, it is being makpid/machmir on v’nishmartem.

I try to fast, but don’t pressure myself. My basic policy is, if I would ask a shaila, I don’t & just break my fast. I will manage a slight headache & will lay down in the afternoon if I can, but if I can’t or if the headache gets any worse than slight, I start drinking (and eating if I’m hungry.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 2:27 pm

Im chassidish so my family holds that women and girls only have to fast on tisha bav and YK.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 2:38 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

no Muslim women do not

They abstain from food but drink as much as they want

I'm sure there are plenty of people who cheat, but the rule is not to drink, and I know women who keep the fast fully.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 2:45 pm

amother [ Ginger ] wrote:

Which is why rabbis are quick to tell someone who gets sick not to fast, but doesn't explain the blanket exemption. Ask a doctor. A healthy adult woman can go without food or drink for a full day.

I know Reform Jews who break their fast after coming home from shul. Why? Because they really feel like they can't go a full day without eating. They're no weaker than you are, but they have been socially conditioned to believe that fasting is impossible. Those of us who fast on Yom Kippur know it can be hard but it's not impossible.

heidi

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 3:03 pm

southernbubby wrote:

Fasting but staying in bed. Rav said that if I feel weak, to drink liquid according to the shiurim.

shiurim are only on YK and 9 b"av

amother

Yellow

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 3:09 pm

im not fasting my children are

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 3:13 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

im not fasting my children are

How does that feel?

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 09 2020, 3:47 pm

As a mother of young kids I don't fast because its more important that I be a calm relaxed mother,
Than fasting and being a nervous wreck, screaming at my kids or being too weak to care for them.
Of course Yom Kippur and Tisha Buv do fast.

Page 2 of 3

Previous 1 2 3 Next