Mom spending lots of time locked in to bedroom

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amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:32 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

Are you addicted to your phone? Many are these days.

Im connected to my phone but I don’t think addicted. Meaning my phone won’t keep me from doing what needs to be done but if I have downtime I prefer my phone over a book.

amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:33 pm

watergirl wrote:

Wishing you the best. Good shabbos!

Thanks I appreciate all your posts on this thread.

amother

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:35 pm

freilich wrote:

I also think it’s a bit too much time to not be present. Kids don’t davka need us to shmooze all the time, but they do need the sense of security that mom is available.

OP, don’t you get all sluggish and blah after being out ? I can relate. But whenever I klutz too much, I feel like it’s such a bother to be there for the kids after. Like it’s such a chore.
So I try to take some me time, and then get busy with light housework. But what works for me, might not work for you, just saying.

I’m not sure where outside comes into the picture. How can I leave when kids are home. And why would I? Isn’t it better to be locked into room so that I’m accessible, than away from the house?

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:41 pm

I spend a lot of time in my room because I'm dealing with stuff and it's the only way I survive. But I mostly keep my door open and my kids know they can come in all the time. Sometimes they stop in and shmooze for a few minutes. It doesn't seem to be affecting them negatively at all. I think there are a lot of parents that are in the main room of the house all the time but still ignore their kid's needs. I don't think it really matters which room you are in, how you treat your children matters much more.

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 4:43 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I agree!

amother

Slateblue

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 5:40 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

No disrespect to the OP but that is not a way to parent children.
The parent should be the one to stay in the main accessible room and let the kids stay or go as needed. Hang around while they eat. Talk to them.
As another mentioned, maybe do chores near where they are. Preparing dinner, cleaning the playroom, kitchen or living room if needed. If there is quiet time and you want to, go on your phone in an accessible spot. Maybe a kid will come to cuddle with you. They need to know you are around.
Sorry. Take fewer, shorter breaks if you really need to.

My bedroom is right off the kitchen and the kids have free access. I'm also introverted and sensory and if I spend too much time around noise at once I get extremely irritable. I am a better mom for taking frequent breaks.

I wish people would understand that the way they do things is not the only right way.

Mama Bear

Fri, Jul 10 2020, 6:21 pm

if you would keep your bedroom door open I think it's okay to take 3 hour-long breaks each day. Bc you're sill there and accessible but youre physically away from the noise.
The fact that youre locking your door and get annoyed when they knnock means you do not want to be with them.
so I think you first step is, keep doing your bedroom time, but leave the door open and be available for the kids.
Hatzlocha!

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