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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Moving/ Relocating
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Jul 12 2020, 1:37 pm
Looking for a place that has friendly people, not « Kalte » farfrumt, focused on externals, yichus Or money status.
That is frum in terms of Tsnius, business integrity, not into non-Jewish entertainment, secular literature or music;
I care about true yiddishkeit, don’t care about shirt colors or hat styles and sizes, or any other externals that have nothing to do with halacha or Jewish sensitivities.
And I’m tired of living in a place where You can’t make friends with people if you didn’t go to daycare with them or their third cousin once removed, or your sil is married to their in-laws machatunim’s sil...
Basically, some place where you can be a frum yid without having to be an ffb to fit in.
And no, I don’t have to be friends only with bts.
And I’m a bt myself, and not looking davka for other nebach or cookoo cases to be friends with. I’m a bt but frum for close to 20 years - Im not in the process of becoming frum, or recently frum, or half here half there, but still outsider in the east coast ffb communities.
Wouldn’t want to move Midwest or west coast though. Some warm place for dh))
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amother
Pearl
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 1:41 pm
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I’ve heard really good things about Brighton, MA. Specifically Rav Halpern’s shul, Khal Tiferes Yosef. I’ve heard people describe this community in terms very similar to the community you’re imagining. Hatzlocha!
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allthingsblue
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 1:44 pm
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amother
Hotpink
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 1:51 pm
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You are describing Baltimore to a T. Many people here since the cradle. And many here from wherever else. And we sound like exactly what you are describing.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 7:45 pm
| elisheva25 wrote: | | Where do you live now ? |
Tristate area, don’t want to be more specific so as not to say lh about exact places I’ve lived in so far.
Thank you for suggesting ma and Baltimore.
Funny I have cousins (not frum but still) in ma.
How is school situation, tuitions and housing there? What’s the frum neighborhood?
Baltimore- dunno, its the same idea yeshivish stuff, no?
For some reason my dh is leaning toward warmer areas, like fla.
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amother
Silver
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 8:12 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Looking for a place that has friendly people, not « Kalte » farfrumt, focused on externals, yichus Or money status.
That is frum in terms of Tsnius, business integrity, not into non-Jewish entertainment, secular literature or music;
I care about true yiddishkeit, don’t care about shirt colors or hat styles and sizes, or any other externals that have nothing to do with halacha or Jewish sensitivities.
And I’m tired of living in a place where You can’t make friends with people if you didn’t go to daycare with them or their third cousin once removed, or your sil is married to their in-laws machatunim’s sil...
Basically, some place where you can be a frum yid without having to be an ffb to fit in.
And no, I don’t have to be friends only with bts.
And I’m a bt myself, and not looking davka for other nebach or cookoo cases to be friends with. I’m a bt but frum for close to 20 years - Im not in the process of becoming frum, or recently frum, or half here half there, but still outsider in the east coast ffb communities.
Wouldn’t want to move Midwest or west coast though. Some warm place for dh)) |
I find it offensive that you said re. bt’s ‘other nebach or cookoo cases.’ And no I’m not a bt. Change that attitude b4 you try to make new friends.
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Rubber Ducky
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 8:18 pm
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Baltimore fits your description. Very accepting place.
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amother
Violet
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 8:20 pm
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If you’re looking into communities like that in Florida maybe look into Jacksonville. I spent a shabbos there once and they have a huge spectrum of people that all are part of the same community. Very out of towny.
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amother
Azure
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 8:21 pm
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Baltimore! I have lived here for 15 years, it is warm and friendly and there is achdus between all shuls and rabbonim of the community. as a whole it is frum, but mostly not yeshivish.
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applesbananas
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 9:04 pm
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amother
Pearl
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 9:10 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Tristate area, don’t want to be more specific so as not to say lh about exact places I’ve lived in so far.
Thank you for suggesting ma and Baltimore.
Funny I have cousins (not frum but still) in ma.
How is school situation, tuitions and housing there? What’s the frum neighborhood?
Baltimore- dunno, its the same idea yeshivish stuff, no?
For some reason my dh is leaning toward warmer areas, like fla. |
I don’t live in MA but I think there have been some Imamother posts that talk about the community more in depth. I would search “Brighton” “Boston” “Brookline” etc. in imamother. I know that Brighton and Brookline are frum neighborhoods though.
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amother
Olive
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 9:12 pm
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amother
Hotpink
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 9:24 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Tristate area, don’t want to be more specific so as not to say lh about exact places I’ve lived in so far.
Thank you for suggesting ma and Baltimore.
Funny I have cousins (not frum but still) in ma.
How is school situation, tuitions and housing there? What’s the frum neighborhood?
Baltimore- dunno, its the same idea yeshivish stuff, no?
For some reason my dh is leaning toward warmer areas, like fla. |
No. Not at all. Baltimore has its yeshivish crowds. And modern orthodox. And chabad. And super modern. And JPF. And Brooklyn transplants. And different types of chassidim (other than a new chassidish kollel who stay to themselves). Kollel. Working. Mechanchim. Doctors. Wealthy and poor. And more. And we all send to the same few schools and live on the same mixed blocks and play together. There is none of the shtus with “my husband works but wears colored shirts and my kids watch screen, what school will accept us”. Thats not the way we roll.
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mommy27
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 9:39 pm
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and Baltimore feels plenty hot to me lately. 90 degree days with high humidity, anyone?
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 10:28 pm
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | | I find it offensive that you said re. bt’s ‘other nebach or cookoo cases.’ And no I’m not a bt. Change that attitude b4 you try to make new friends. |
Well, you may as well « unfind » this offensive.
It’s an equivalent of a certain community’s right to use a n.word-theyre allowed, and no one else is.
I’m a bt and familiar with stereotypes about bts, some interesting demographics about bts, both healthy and misguided bts etc.
The way I worded it was to prevent recommendations to move to a bt/ger communities or look for friends among bts- that’s an equivalent of zachor-nekeiva shidduchim that some suggest for bts or representatives of other particular demographics.
Chill please
Eta: mind you, we’ve been living in community for 15-20 years, we attend regular shuls, kids are in mainstream yeshivahs, I’m as frum as they come; yet tactless people still make comments about our « outsidedness », which make me realize that even though it’s the tactless few that comment out loud, countless others regard us as outsiders as well.
I’ve tried making friends with all « types » (hate this term), ran my concerns by therapists just to make sure I wasn’t the problem; all in vain, because there is an impenetrable wall here where I live. You just can’t make real friends.
And some well wishers sometimes recommend that you look for friends based on the common « nebach factor », which they perceive you to be, and suggest you look for others whom they regard as social misfits too. It’s like the person in shidduchim who is told to settle for someone a bit unhinged, or « cookoo » if you wish. That’s where my comment was coming from.
So please don’t tell me to change my attitude.
Vent over.
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amother
Gray
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Sun, Jul 12 2020, 11:00 pm
Baltimore is only part yeshivish. Probably a larger percentage is NOT yeshivish.
And our summers are like Florida, seriously like a sauna and HUMID, though the rest of the year is not like Florida in the least  ....
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