Is it not 'right' for me to take off so long?

amother

Lime

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 2:08 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Just a reminder to everyone. FMLA only applies if the company you work for has 50 or more employees.

Thats FMLA.

In NY state, PFL doesnt go by company size.

amother

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 2:29 pm

Honestly, I'm not worried about my job security. if he actually chooses to let me go because of this, my job experience is in very high demand. and I'm not killing myself just for this. Hashem will help if that's what ends up happening.

The point is I gave boss more than enough notice. I'm still feeling guilty about taking off so long. I look at it like, I haven't had a baby in a few years and its not like I ever have a day vacation. I work all year long and this is my chance to get a tiny break and take longer to adjust to having another baby and juggling work.

he did ask me to work after my baby. I think he had a whole plan that I'd start working from home again once baby is like 2 weeks old (previous office manager did that) but I said no. I need to put myself first.

he knows he can't say anything about me taking off 8+weeks. though he will be upset. I'm just feeling a little guilty. not even sure why. and I'm in NJ

amother

Brown

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 3:42 pm

It’s not right for you to put your health at risk because your boss couldn’t plan ahead. I had the opposite, they agreed to let me take 9 weeks off and then called in middle of my leave to pressure me to come back earlier. I told them to hire a replacement lol. They backed down.

amother

Brown

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 3:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You sound like a people pleaser. I used to be that way too. Look at it as a chance to practice your assertiveness.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 3:54 pm

I have a friend who felt bad and went back before she was ready. It was too much for her and she ended up taking much longer to recover. She resented it a lot. I would say you're worth too much to push yourself. My boss is the type to demand a lot from herself (returning to work 2 weeks pp, and working from home from day 1 as well) but if you tell her I need longer, she might not like it, but she'll accept.

penguin

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 4:14 pm

By all means take the time you need.

If it works for you to be available for a couple of hours from home, you can try that. If you know that it won't actually be a couple of hours (as in they'll be calling you every 10 minutes) then don't even consider it.

But if there's a way to call in, talk to the person taking over for you, plan the day's work etc, and then maybe another call in the afternoon, maybe that's a good compromise. But only if you're up to it. And only if you will feel free to turn ALL your phones OFF the rest of the day!

amother

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 7:29 pm

2gether wrote:

If you basicly run the show, why don't you say that you'll take on the responability of finding and training a sub?

I did! hundred times! I think in the back of his mind he wants to 'save' on a salary while I'm out and also if he had a new hire then while I'm out he'd have to take responsibility for him/her and he has no patience for it. so he kept pushing it off until the inevitable which he's now freaking out about...

I keep telling myself-it's his problem. but that doesn't help him going to give me a hard time if I need/want to take off longer than he wants me to

amother

Teal

Mon, Jul 13 2020, 7:49 pm

Just my personal two cents for next time. I generally find that arguing about something weeks in advance is not worth it. I would have taken the 8 weeks, and if I felt I needed 2 more weeks, I would've sent a nice email (at that point) saying that I need a bit more time to recover.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Jul 14 2020, 1:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

A new hire is not always necessary, you can train a competent person at your workplace, as long as your boss approves. Leave written instructions regarding vendors and who to contact, what needs to be ordered and approved, renewals, contracts, you can even set up his and her calendar to reflect all this. This would clear up a lot of what you do and give him the support he needs.

amother

Navy

Tue, Jul 14 2020, 2:20 pm

I always take off 12 weeks and am planning to take off 5 months after my next. It’s a treat to my sanity and myself. It’s part of the benefits I can take advantage of after having worked really hard to get where I am professionally. It’s time for me to allow myself to take care of me. And no one can guilt me about that.

amother

Tue, Jul 14 2020, 3:03 pm

amother [ Navy ] wrote:

That's what I wanted to hear, lol Wink

amother

Tue, Jul 14 2020, 3:06 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

That's what I plan on doing. nothing is set in stone. he just asked how long I plan on taking off. I said I can't say anythign for sure but I normally need 8 weeks to get back to myself but only time will tell once the baby is out.

when I said that, he balked and said 'but 6 weeks is the standard disability' I just brushed it off and left things hanging. I'm not putting my foot down about anything. once I'm out, I will let him know when I think I can aim to come back. I'm just feeling so bad even though its totally not my problem technically. that's why I was asking here. to see if I'm really supposed to take responsibility and push myself more...