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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Quarantine with an ODD kid



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 10:10 am
I seriously cannot deal with this one more day. I am fantasizing about giving him up for adoption. Every day he has another melt down and hits, throws things, hurts his siblings or myself and my husband. Wrecks entire rooms. Yells and sobs. He’s 7. We basically had his behavior under control with letting him ride around and go out for hours and play with friends in the neighborhood, but now with the quarantine it’s like all the behavior management and routine we had established and all of our gains over years of therapy are out the window. Trying to reach his old behavioral therapist for support but she has not been responsive. I’m at my wits end and crying myself to sleep. It affects the whole household. I find myself thinking 4 happy kids are better than 5 miserable one. Thank Gd my husband is amazing with him but this is not a test I am passing. Look, I love my kid and I know that he is hurting. I am hurting. I have read the books. I just need support and ideas how to cope with a behaviorally challenging kid during quarantine.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 10:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I seriously cannot deal with this one more day. I am fantasizing about giving him up for adoption. Every day he has another melt down and hits, throws things, hurts his siblings or myself and my husband. Wrecks entire rooms. Yells and sobs. He’s 7. We basically had his behavior under control with letting him ride around and go out for hours and play with friends in the neighborhood, but now with the quarantine it’s like all the behavior management and routine we had established and all of our gains over years of therapy are out the window. Trying to reach his old behavioral therapist for support but she has not been responsive. I’m at my wits end and crying myself to sleep. It affects the whole household. I find myself thinking 4 happy kids are better than 5 miserable one. Thank Gd my husband is amazing with him but this is not a test I am passing. Look, I love my kid and I know that he is hurting. I am hurting. I have read the books. I just need support and ideas how to cope with a behaviorally challenging kid during quarantine.

I feel so bad for you. have similar situation with same age boy. without distraction of the neighbors and friends its really difficult. Bh mine likes to color and do magic shows so I keep on making zoom meetings with other little kids who are happy to watch his art shows and magic shows and that keeps him entertained and happier. Try to find something he likes to do and just do a lot of it. major hugs
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bigsis144




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 10:46 am
Hugs!! I wish I had advice, it’s so so hard
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frog




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 10:52 am
Same situation here. I've given into ipad and technology for my sanity and the saftey of my other kids. Will pick up the pieces of his education in a few months from now PG
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Jewishmom8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 11:00 am
same situation here.
today was horrible.
horrible.
horrible
horrible.
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Jewishmom8




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 11:13 am
with my one pandas kid
and one ODD kid it was he** today.
they wont stop fighting.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 10:11 pm
((HUGS)) to all. this is really hard.
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 01 2020, 11:21 pm
I have an ODD-ish kid--not formally diagnosed but has many of the symptoms and we too have had our moments of wishing he didn't live here--and he keeps warning me that he's moving out (also a 7 yr old). I too have read many books on the topic looking for answers. A few things I've noticed in my son that I've noticed and it has made a difference in his behavior. Not that he's perfect, but I'm looking for triggers. These are the things I've come up with in our situation: 1)Bathroom breaks. I have an incentive chart, I don't understand it, but in most cases when my kids start acting nuts it has to do with the bathroom 2) snack breaks, my kid goes nuts when he's hungry. 3) Once those 2 are taken care of we can talk about what's REALLY bothering him. 4) Getting him to bed when he's tired b/c being tired makes him flare up 5)divide and conquer. He and his brother have a love-hate relationship, there are times that they play well together, and others that he bullies his brother, the best way to stop it is to split them up until they have calmed down (which usually involves a bathroom break).
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amother
Rose


 

Post Thu, Apr 02 2020, 12:23 am
I'm so sorry op. I totally feel your pain, my son is ten and basically same situation. we generally allow no media in the home but to protect my family and myself we're letting him watch kosher videos (agent emes) etc, it helps keep him calm. I'm also not waking him up in the morning but letting him sleep as long as his body wants because lack of sleep is a huge trigger for him. Wish I could help more, I think people dont realize how insanely rough this is for kids like ours.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Jul 15 2020, 9:25 am
I fell you 💔
It’s so hard
. My daughter is the same age and she still doesn’t have the diagnosis (where I live everything is still closed so we had to postpone the evaluation she was supposed to have )
For now she all day either on zoom class or watching videos . I have no strength to fight with her and to deal with her .
Everything is a fight from sleep to eat to taking a shower . Quarantine is hard for us adults too . Every conversation with her ends up on a fight . So I don’t even want to start it anymore .
Can you recommend some books or resources , the only one I have read till now was “the explosive child” but I kind couldn’t apply it (maybe I need more effort )
Good luck to us all
Ps - the adoption idea sound good 😆
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Jul 15 2020, 9:29 am
You lucky that you still love him . I’m love her as a child but not as a person (yes I know that’s horrible )
That’s why I have already an appointment with a therapist to see if we can work on that
I always wanted a girl , now she gives me more headache than my two boys together
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Jul 15 2020, 11:42 am
OP have you looked into pandas at all? Oppositional defiant behavior, meltdowns, rages, aggression, these are all classic symptoms of brain inflammation. My child was a nightmare until we started treating the inflammation and causes for the inflammation. I used to feel just like you about my child, and ashamed of it. I’m not going to lie and say things are all rosey now, but they are much much improved, and most of the time DC is a pleasure to be around.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Wed, Jul 15 2020, 11:48 am
https://www.amazon.com/Transfo.....50707

The Nurtured Heart Approach

https://childrenssuccessfounda.....oach/
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Wed, Jul 15 2020, 3:21 pm
We've been struggling too with our 10 yo ODD.
The thing that's worked best is finding something he enjoys doing. He became obsessed with fixing things. We've bought him a toolbox and he's been fixing all the neighbours kids bikes.
It's making a huge difference. Before he started this the whole household was miserable all the time. Hug
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