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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 20 2020, 5:41 pm
My son has a close group of friends who seem to have very minimal parental involvement in their lives. They’re nice boys and I’ve always been happy he has good friends, but as they’re getting older I see how they seem to have no rules re movies, phone time, video games etc. I’ve always been a firm believer in not restricting my children much more than their friends, and it’s never been much of a problem because we’re in similar enough circles haskafa wise. The worst I’ve usually had to deal with was friends who had late or no bedtimes.
Recently I’ve been encountering bigger issues. For example his friends text each other late at night, and I really prefer he doesn’t use his iPod in bed. Or play video games all day, so that even if I’m super generous with video game time, I’m still the only parent making him stop at any point. Or watch very inappropriate movies, and I absolutely draw the line there. But I hate that I’m the restrictive parent when in reality I really am not.
The positive part is that next year he will be going to a different high school and I’m hoping he makes a different crowd of friends. But I’m just wondering if others have been in similar situations and how you’ve handled it.
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amother
Papaya
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Mon, Jul 20 2020, 8:22 pm
I got mine an I phone so I lock it at a certain time at night. Then he leaves it in the kitchen charging. I explained since he wasnt managing to be reasonable solo, its my job as his parent to help him learn healthy habits by exercising them. So theres a 1000 messages in the morning, even by his standards dumb conversations.
I hate the too much gaming. HATE. But I let it happen as long as there is some movement/ meals etc happening.
Movies- idk if my way is healthiest in the long run. But I taught them that you cannot unsee what you saw. And thats why I precheck movie content. No extra violence & gore. No too much s-xual stuff, why torture themselves with no outlet for the result?
Hopefully, he sees it as you love him and care about him. Maybe he thinks his friends parents either dont care or can't be bothered.
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