Camp threw my kid out - Do I need to tip

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 5:04 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

I work like a dog to afford tuition and camp fees. I think it's disgusting to hit me with a list of expected tips after I literally paid thousands. Bus monitor. Bus driver. Counselor. JC. Rebbe. Multiplied by a bunch of kids is a few hundred dollars that I don't have.

Eta; playgroup and camp cost about the same. I don't tip playgroup, I pay the morah the price she asks (a bit above the going rate), and done. All of the sudden my four year old has a list of 5 people who are supposed to get $50 tips for 6 weeks of summer. I can't afford it, and I'm not keeping my kids home from camp because of it. I paid for camp, in cash, in full, up front. That's not "disgusting" it's an honest business deal.

I don't disagree with this. That said, it's the camp taking advantage of the parents, not the counselors. I agree, the camp should pay decently and cut out the tipping expectations. I don't see it changing, though, because it will cut into their profits.
At the end of the day it's the counselors who are treated badly and lose out. If you want good quality counselors attracted to the job, it needs to be worth their while. So, imo, you should tip or take it up with the camps.

amother

Puce

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 5:06 pm

IMO it’s your call. When I was a teenager I had to throw a 4 year old out of my backyard camp. He had behavior issues that I wasn’t equipped to deal with. Yes I put a ton of work into him. I still felt guilty about kicking him out. I don’t remember getting a tip. I definitely didn’t expect one.

amother

Purple

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 6:00 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

$50 tip?? Wow, that's a lot!!! I think a $10 tip for a teen counselor is enough. I can't believe people are expected to tip $50 per counselor, unless maybe rich people sending to a rich camp.

Most people would expect a $30-50 dollar tip for the whole summer. If you order food at a restaurant for your family, a tip can end up being $20 and they didn't do nearly as much work as the counselors did.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 7:31 pm

I was also told my preschooler can't come back to camp. It never crossed my mind not to tip for the time he was there. I don't know why your child was asked not to come back but presumably at that age, its because of an issue that is beyond the counselors abilities. I know my child can be challenging and that his counselors have to put so much energy into him, it leaves them short staffed for the rest of the bunk. After all the work they put into keeping him safe and happy, how could I not show basic hakaras hatov. Because they can't continue to give, it negates what they did until now?
For those who said it's the camps responsibility to hire competent staff, unless this is a camp for SN kids, or the counselors were incompetent to manage avarage children, that's just unfair. If your sending to a camp with teenage counselors, you can't expect special Ed services and then claim incompetence. For those saying tipping in general is a problem, that's a whole nother issue and has nothing to do with ops question. She's not asking if she should tip all her kids counselors, just this particular child due to these circumstances.
Op, believe me, I understand your frustrations. It's a difficult situation to be in. I know, I'm there. But, if your child's counselors worked (especially if they had to put extra effor) for your child, it's only basic hakaras hatov and mentchlickite to acknowledge that. Even if ultimately they can't continue to do so. Much hatzlocha to you

ExtraCredit

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 8:20 pm

The dc I send to always switches counselors after first half. I tip 10-15$ Per counselor per half. If you were to tip under normal circumstances I don’t see why you should withhold it now, especially since you understand the reason behind their not taking her back. I believe they might’ve put in extra effort with your child but unfortunately they didn’t succeed.

Last edited by ExtraCredit on Wed, Jul 22 2020, 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total

Simcha36

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 8:38 pm

I was a counselor long ago. There was a family of difficult kids. I worked hard with them. At the end of the summer, mom asked owner if she needed to tip. Owner said counselors were getting a salary. I still remember the disappointment, hurt, and the names of the people involved.

Supermom#1

Wed, Jul 22 2020, 8:47 pm

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

People are asking what a 3 year old can do. I have a sibling whose 4-year-old child has pretty big behavioral issues. During the school year he is in a special program, and he's considered hard even there.

My sibling is in total denial about his behavioral issues, even though said sibling goes on and on how difficult he is, and needs a break from child, etc...sibling still insists child is "just a normal child" and that "all kids behave like this" and "schools just make a big deal".

Sibling has tried to put that child into a regular daycamp without informing them of issues. Child was kicked out after a day. Sibling tried another daycamp.

In case you wonder, child will go to bathroom and smear it up with his own bodily excrement and play in it. Child runs really fast and has boundary issues, if he's by my house I have to watch him and engage him constantly or he can run off. Child doesn't listen. etc...

Whatever, if the counselors took care of your child for first half, they deserve a 1/2 summer tip amount.

If you don't want to go in there, you can always send it to them in the mail.

Oh...that sounds quite awful....you might know that some of the behaviors you described about your nephew are indicative of ASD. Please encourage your sibling to do her/himself and their child a big favor and have their child evaluated by a competent professional. much hatzlacha!

Bubby6

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 2:11 pm

Talking about tipping, if you can't afford more than the minimum $5, write a note of thanks (can get a pkg of cards from amazing savings or dollar store) and thank them profusely, praising individual acts and how much dc got put of camp, despite the difficulties. Wish them hatzlacha fornthe coming year. Goodbye. The money just gets slipped into the big pile, but your sentiments stay much longer.