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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
It hurts more when you dont say the truth...



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:40 pm
Crying

Hi
Iv been trying to find my daughter a daycamp for one week of the holidays.
My husband is working all day and my older son will also be out all day so really quite desp.

My daughter does have some additional needs, doesnt actually have a label at the mo but there are times when she needs extra attention. Im always fully upfront about this because I need to be assured she is taken care of acc to her needs.

one or 2 places have refused, others arent suitable.
someone texted me she is doing one. we communicated via text ,maybe she would take her, she has other girls from her class. I said she may need bit more attention. I tried to call her to discuss, she said she was busy. she said she has X amount of kids would probly have space.

meanwhile I passed on her details to someone else in my childs class who was also looking.
tried to call the next day , she also said shes busy.
texted her when can I call, she replied so sorry reached our limit with numbers now, cant take her.

I asked the other mom if shes sorted with her daughter, she said yes she is sending to this person.
this was all in the space of 2 days.
so she accepted the other child but not mine.

I totally understand if ppl want to say no to me, but at least BE HONEST!!
answer the phone and say, im really sorry dont think wel be able to hande your child.
Yes, I may be upset but thats FINE!
I understand! I know what my childs like!

but please just BE hHONEST!
I promise you it hurts less.

im dying to answer her back and say something like
'but would you take if someone cancels? fine if you dont want to, thats why I was calling u!!'
so upset. Crying


Crying
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:46 pm
I'm so sorry. I remember one summer I told a parent that I wasn't sure I was equiped for their child but I'd be willing to try. After a week it was clear that I couldn't do it. I called the mom and she was really fine about it. I felt badly. But it was the right thing to do.

It's hard though to let a parent know that you just can't handle their child for whatever reason. You dont want it to come off as an insult or judgement.

I hope you find something soon.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 2:53 pm
thank you.
I ALWAYS ALWAYS tell people to be honest with me.
I know what shes like, theres no point hiding anything.

thats why I was gonna call her and give her the option on the fone u think u could handle him? but she never answered.
I dont know why but im so desparate to know if she wouldv taken her.
I wouldnt be upset, just want to know if shes hiding the truth.

im thinking to text, 'but would you take if theres a cancellation? or you dont think would be suitable?'
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:01 pm
Wow, I totally hear why you are upset and I would be too. Sometimes people go so out of their way to avoid hurting someone's feelings that they go and do just that.

I would probably text her something along the lines of "Hi ________, I was a little confused because I thought I was waiting to hear back from you, but then I heard you took someone else. If its just a space issue, do you think you would be able to take my daughter if you have a cancelation? Or if you feel that it just won't be a good fit, please let me know so I can pursue other options. No hard feelings, but I'd rather know beforehand if you feel like it just wouldn't work."
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:04 pm
thanks!
I already texted her back and just wrote thanks.
she knows im still looking for other options.

not sure how to say it nicely but would love to know the truth...
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avrahamama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:07 pm
I think she is probably just trying to avoid the conversation altogether. If it's a backyard camp shes just looking to fill up spots and have a relatively simple set-up.

You could maybe also text and ask to be put in a "waiting list" if she thinks it's a good match in any case
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 27 2020, 3:19 pm
avrahamama wrote:
I think she is probably just trying to avoid the conversation altogether. If it's a backyard camp shes just looking to fill up spots and have a relatively simple set-up.

You could maybe also text and ask to be put in a "waiting list" if she thinks it's a good match in any case


huh? im not upset she wont take her, im upset she never said the truth!
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