Hate 4 not teaching kids Hebrew

amother

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 2:43 pm

I understand hebrew, but don’t speak fluently. My family speaks Hebrew. My husbands family speak English. I don’t speak to my kids in Hebrew. I know I should. But I don’t. I try, but english is easier for me. My family is disappointed that I don’t teach them Hebrew..honestly I am too.
What should I do? Move to Israel to help learn Hebrew? Get a tutor I can’t afford so I probably won’t get? Or just give up on it?
Thanks in advance

amother

Silver

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 2:47 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Don't speak to your kids in a language that isn't your native tongue.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jul 23 2020, 2:51 pm

Maybe sent them to a Hebrew speaking babysitter when they’re little so they learn it young and supplement it with you speaking to them in Hebrew.

Honestly, we have the opposite problem in my family. Two of my siblings live in Israel. One speaks to her kids in English and sends to an English speaking gan. Her husband speaks to the kids in Yiddish and the kids learn Hebrew in the streets and in school. Her kids speak three languages fluently and can distinguish between each. My other sibling speaks to his kids mostly in Hebrew or mixed and as his kids get older, it’s harder to communicate with them easily. They can understand English perfectly but don’t really speak it as well... I honestly don’t think it’s too bad though I wish he would try to speak to his kids more in English to make it easier for everyone else when we/they visit.

zaq

Fri, Jul 24 2020, 9:28 am

You said your family is disappointed, which is understandable. But where's the "hate"?
If you really want to, you'll make the effort to speak to your kids in Ivrit even if you're not totally comfortable with the language. It doesn't matter that you're not fully fluent. Your kids are not writing doctoral theses; all you need is for them to be able to converse with family, and for that they don't need to speak with perfect grammar.

PeanutMama

Fri, Jul 24 2020, 9:40 am

I wish I had advice but if it makes you feel tons better I get hate for not teaching my son Yiddish!
My husband speaks Yiddish to my son. I don’t because I. Simply. Don’t. Know. It. and for some reason people have the need to push me into learning Yiddish which actually pushes me further away from learning it.

It’s okay
As long as your kids understand you in the language that you speak
It’s fine
No worries

Rappel

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 12:23 am

I've heard a few multi-lingual families express the importance of speaking to your children in the language which is most emotionally comfortable for you.

As in, when you're angry/excited/joking, what's the easiest language for you? That's the one you should speak to your children in. They'll absorb your intonations of love, humour, and pleasure in that language. If you speak in another language to them, then they may perceive you as cold, because it's is much harder to express yourself in a second language.

So if English is your love language, then let no one shame you about it. You're giving your children love.

Of course Hebrew is lovely, and your family can call/visit/teach your children Hebrew if that's what they need to communicate with them. They can send them Hebrew books, Hebrew shows. You can hire them a TPRS teacher.

But that has nothing to do with how you need to communicate with your children.

ora_43

Wed, Jul 29 2020, 2:48 am

When you say your family speaks Hebrew, do you mean they speak only/mainly Hebrew? Or they speak English fluently, and also speak Hebrew?

I'd make a lot more effort if the issue is that it's hard for your family to speak English. In that case it's not just about giving your kids language skills, it's about making it possible for them to communicate with their family.

In general - and I'm only saying this because you asked, zero hate from my end if you ignore me completely - I suggest:

- Most of the time, speak to your kids in whatever language is most comfortable for you.

- Find small, easy ways to incorporate some Hebrew into their lives. Eg videos in Hebrew, computer games in Hebrew, books in Hebrew. (The younger they are when you start, the easier this will be.)

- Choose specific days/times of week where you'll make an effort to teach them a few Hebrew words, in a natural way. At first you say things like, "In ivrit, a book is called a sefer." Later, make a game out of it, challenge them to translate words back and forth (this is a good game for if you're in the car, or walking, or anything else where they're bored enough to see language drills as fun Very Happy

)

- If your family says that isn't enough, invite them to spend time teaching your kids Hebrew.

- As they get a bit older, look for not-too-difficult opportunities to improve their Hebrew. Summer camps, after-school activities, that sort of thing.

- As they get older, offer prizes for Hebrew learning, above and beyond whatever they do in school.

It's always good to know a second language, and for Jews Hebrew is a really good second language to know. Very convenient for communication, beyond the obvious benefits in terms of understanding the tefilot and any and all kinds of Torah learning. So I would make this a priority - but I wouldn't prioritize it above your own comfort in your own home, or your ability to have conversations with your kids be easy and fun.