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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
giselle
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 Thu, Jul 30 2020, 7:49 pm
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I think that when it comes to shiduchim, people tend to look for people that are compatible with their child and their family. Which makes a lot of sense. I actually wouldn’t have thought that an anti vaxxer or homeschooling family would even care if I said no.. we are worlds apart in our values. The same way I wouldn’t expect a chasidish family to say yes to my children.
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amother
Ginger
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Thu, Jul 30 2020, 8:10 pm
I also grew up with this mentality and just don't get it.
Even if we put Emunah, bashert on the side.
I just needed to find one man for myself. For that I had to live my life pleasing the million others? The crazy thing is my one man did not care about anything that I sacrificed for Shidduchim.
I'm trying not to repeat this for my children. I did not send to the school where my family wanted me to send because I didn't think my children would be happy there. And I'm OK with some people not liking it. If I don't make decisions for my or my children's happiness then who will.
I am not saying to totally disregard society if you live amongst them. But make decisions based on what will work for you and your children, they each need to find one spouse only.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Thu, Jul 30 2020, 8:16 pm
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Just like I don’t want anyone that is too busy with politics, common core, their rebbe, health, their shitas etc. I also don't want anyone to be busy with vaxing as if its a certain part of yiddihskeit. |
And some people are the opposite. I wouldn’t say that they’re “extreme,” they’re just very passionate about their values and things they care about and are not afraid to stand out. It’s not good or bad. Some people like things smooth and superficial where nobody is too much or “too busy” with anything. Others like a bit more spice.
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