Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management
If you carpool all year - How?
Previous  1  2



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

ceebee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:04 pm
I’ve never had busses and always carpooled. I usually drive my kids but I’ve also paid a teacher extra to drive one of my kids. Because of this I take a job that works around my carpooling and I won’t accept a job that requires me to be there too early or stay too late.
Back to top

amother
Puce


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:04 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
Is busing going to be a given this year though? I guess it depends where you live, but doesn't sound like that's the case for op.
We live in Lakewood proper and send to an established school so Baruch hashem bli ayin hara poopoopoo
Back to top

amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:38 pm
We split the morning between me and dh-he does one on the way to work and I do the others on my way. I specifically don't work full time bc it's too much for me and I have to do all the pick-ups.
Btw we wouldn't manage if we didn't have the 2 cars though. Dh doesn't work locally and my work is a good half hour away.
Back to top

malky800




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 6:48 pm
You cannot have 2 parents in a regular full time job and carpool.
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 7:10 pm
malky800 wrote:
You cannot have 2 parents in a regular full time job and carpool.

People do it, but it's not easy. Huge source of stress.
Back to top

amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:10 pm
malky800 wrote:
You cannot have 2 parents in a regular full time job and carpool.


This thread is making me lose it. I get it that your lives are so convenient and easy for you all, but the rest of the world somehow manages to live without buses. I do it and I work full time, as does my husband. I've done it for years, and with multiple schools. I take there and back, and you just do it. When your kids get older, they can also take public transportation.

If you stop wringing your hands about how things are hard, you have much more free time to just get it done.
Back to top

amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:21 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
This thread is making me lose it. I get it that your lives are so convenient and easy for you all, but the rest of the world somehow manages to live without buses. I do it and I work full time, as does my husband. I've done it for years, and with multiple schools. I take there and back, and you just do it. When your kids get older, they can also take public transportation.

If you stop wringing your hands about how things are hard, you have much more free time to just get it done.


Care to share how it's done?

DH and I both work from 9-5, which means leaving the house at 845 and arriving home 515.

I have 3 kids in 3 different schools, all of which begin at 845. One ends 330, one ends 4 and the other 445.
Plus a baby in playgroup from 9:20-330.

Please arrange my schedule for me.
Back to top

amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:38 pm
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Care to share how it's done?

DH and I both work from 9-5, which means leaving the house at 845 and arriving home 515.

I have 3 kids in 3 different schools, all of which begin at 845. One ends 330, one ends 4 and the other 445.
Plus a baby in playgroup from 9:20-330.

Please arrange my schedule for me.


Many parents pay for aftercare, so their kids stay until the latest dismissal. Many people find that they don't have to work exact 9-5 hours- they can work 8:30-4:30, or 9:15- 5:15.

The 8:45s depend on how far apart the schools are and what the range of allowed dropoff is. My kids' schools allow dropoff up to 15 minutes before start time. One year, I had to pick up 2 carpool families and time it to drop off at the earliest possible, then pick up three more families and drive twenty-odd minutes to drop off there. And then to work. Then I didn't have to do the afternoons.

I know people who do carpool trades. For example, one woman's dh drives a minyan carpool that they don't even have a kid in, for a family that does send in it and also sends to their kids' school. So instead of driving the carpool their own child is in, they drive a different one because the times are better. And that helps the other family, who can't manage the minyan carpool.

And there are people who pay and don't drive (either services or other parents) or do private bussing that they pay for. Some specifically employ babysitters who drive.
Back to top

amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 8:45 pm
I will also add that if a school is full of parents who this is new for, they will have to accommodate. This is NJ, which I believe is mandating staggered arrivals. Find out what the range will be this year, and tell each school the slot you need. Explain that it is a need, not a preference. And unless you work at a job with a hard arrival time, ask your boss about shifting the hours as needed. In a covid world, a yes is more likely.
Back to top

amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 9:10 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
This thread is making me lose it. I get it that your lives are so convenient and easy for you all, but the rest of the world somehow manages to live without buses. I do it and I work full time, as does my husband. I've done it for years, and with multiple schools. I take there and back, and you just do it. When your kids get older, they can also take public transportation.

If you stop wringing your hands about how things are hard, you have much more free time to just get it done.

If you can take there and back you're either not working full time or you work from home. Otherwise it's not possible to drop off and pick up on time unless you consider 9-3 full time (which it's not).
I don't know where you live but where I am there's no public transportation that would be any better than walking and it can be quite a distance.
Yes carpool is doable and yes I wish people would kvetch a little less but that doesn't change the fact that it's HARD and if you and dh work truly full time it's almost impossible. I did it for years and only survived because my local family and my neighbors helped. With a larger family now I can't rely on that and it would cost me more to pay for the household help, private rides and busing than I would make working more hours.
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Tue, Aug 04 2020, 9:18 pm
Periwinkle covered it pretty well. I will also add in, sometimes people pay SAHMs to have their kid dropped off and wait there (kind of like babysitting).
But yes, it gets super complicated and while you may "trade" a drive with someone here and there to accommodate schedule needs that come up, you need to be on the ball with "paying" it back.
Constant carpools aren't super easy for SAHMs either, they need to shlep younger kids and babies with them (which takes up space in the car and limits the number of kids you can drive). It's a complicated balance all around. You need to match up with families that have the right number of kids as well as seats in their car.
Back to top

amother
Blush


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 12:13 am
Pretend the bussing didn't exist last year. So instead of comparing what could have been you can then deal with reality. I work full time (out of the home pre covid but they expect same amount of work while at home). We never have bussing. And we work it out. Somehow we all do it. I had 2 different morning drop offs and found out the exact earliest time the first could be dropped off. Then swung around to drop off the second. We were literally the first car in the carpool line 99% of the time. I showed a coworker my morning path on how I drove to work (because was wondering why I had to leave so early when they lived so much further). It was double backing and circles.

I am dealing with not having in person school at ALL. How am I to work full time when homeschooling and setting kids up on zoom every half hour or hour? Because of course the various grades don't have "break" at the same time! And I don't work for fun, I hate my job but at least I can do it from home temporarily due to Coved 19.
So instead of complaining I am problem solving and saying "how to make it better than last spring?". Ok, need school supply center. Buy more pencils. Got a stand for one device so the camera is in the right spot. And make a sticker chart for each zoom class done without complaint or issue.
Back to top

amother
Oak


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 7:37 am
I grew up being carpooled. But I don't think anyone had room for all their own kids plus additional kids. It worked because there were enough SAHM/WAHM parents and parents with flexible schedules/teachers who worked in the schools (married to each other!) so nobody had to drive all of their own kids plus additional. I.e., my mother could stay home in the morning with whoever was the baby and whichever kids were getting picked up by someone else, while my father filled the car with some of my siblings and additional carpool kids. Still, she often had to wake babies up in the afternoon to go drive... Not a perfect situation, not as easy as getting kids bussed home, but not impossible.

Now, with my own kids, it works out better for me to drive every morning and every afternoon because they take up all the space in the car. So even though it's more stops, it's really the only way it's possible.

It happens to be I prefer it this way. It means if we're running late or early I don't need to coordinate with anyone else. If I can't drive one day for any reason, I can make arrangements for just my own kids and don't have to be responsible for anyone else's. I often give rides to other kids of families who don't have cars, but I'm happy it's not an obligation that I owe them... When my kids wake up sick or something, I don't have to coordinate or ask for favours, we just stay home.

Also the extra pickups and drop-offs take time. The same carpool run that I can do in 15 minutes when it's just my kids, can take half an hour or 40 minutes when I have to get others as well (pickups more than drop-offs if the kid is not ready on time). Each stop adds up. If I can just do the whole thing myself, I'd rather...

There is an option that I will get bussing for one or two of my kids for this coming year... but honestly I am not sure if I even want it. It would depend what time the pickup is. If the pickup is later than I need to leave to take the rest of my kids, I don't know how I would do it, unless my husband can still be home that part of the day...
Back to top

amother
Tangerine


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 8:22 am
amother [ Oak ] wrote:

Also the extra pickups and drop-offs take time. The same carpool run that I can do in 15 minutes when it's just my kids, can take half an hour or 40 minutes when I have to get others as well (pickups more than drop-offs if the kid is not ready on time). Each stop adds up. If I can just do the whole thing myself, I'd rather....


This car pool would not last two weeks! I only carpool with families who make a commitment to have the kids waiting by the door with their coats on and bags packed at the designated time (as we did as children, without fail).
Back to top

chocolatecake




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 10:45 am
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
This thread is making me lose it. I get it that your lives are so convenient and easy for you all, but the rest of the world somehow manages to live without buses. I do it and I work full time, as does my husband. I've done it for years, and with multiple schools. I take there and back, and you just do it. When your kids get older, they can also take public transportation.

If you stop wringing your hands about how things are hard, you have much more free time to just get it done.


We built our schedules and took jobs knowing our kids would be bused. It's not so simple to just take that away from me and say "deal with it, I've been doing it all these years." I am very lucky that dh is around to do pickup. I start work at 9. My three kids in school start 830 845 and 9. School is past my house the opposite way of my work. I will have to leave my house at 8 every morning and I will come late to work every day cuz its not humanely possible for me to be on time based on these times and locations. My babysitter does not take kids at 8 am so I will have to find someone near my kids schools which is another late drop off making me even later to work.

Carpooling is not possible because how can I be waiting for one carpool while driving carpool for a different kid. The only way it makes sense is to do it all myself.

I do not work full time I work 9-4 and no Friday so its 28 hours a week. A family with two parents truly working full time - many times the only way carpool is really possible is if they hire a driver and thats not exactly carpool thats a hired driver.
Back to top

amother
Peach


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 11:14 am
Yes, that's true.
But that's what ft working parents end up doing. Rearranging their hours, getting permission from their boss to come late or leave early once a week, dropping their kids off earlier at school, etc. So, for a kid who starts school at 8:30, let's say, they may get dropped off at 8 or 8:15. Yes, it adds to the parent's day out of the house. This is why, as annoying as car pools can be, most choose to do it rather than do the drop off and pick up for all their kids, every day of the week.
It's certainly not easy.
When I think back to my childhood, I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that the constant car pools were mesiras nefesh that the parent's did to give their kids a Jewish education. In many ways more so than the tuition.
My mom says the worst part was after having a new baby (the agreement at the time was you got two weeks "off") because, she hated waking up a tiny infant and shlepping out to the car.
Back to top

amother
Oak


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:40 pm
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote:
This car pool would not last two weeks! I only carpool with families who make a commitment to have the kids waiting by the door with their coats on and bags packed at the designated time (as we did as children, without fail).


Yes, I don't know what I would do long-term. This is just what happened a few times lately when I picked kids up as a favor.

But even with the kids who are ready--the extra buckling, driving, parking, watching to make sure the kid gets in, etc. take time. It's not just the spot in the car.
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:42 pm
amother [ Oak ] wrote:
Yes, I don't know what I would do long-term. This is just what happened a few times lately when I picked kids up as a favor.

But even with the kids who are ready--the extra buckling, driving, parking, watching to make sure the kid gets in, etc. take time. It's not just the spot in the car.


I have a genius neighbor who drives a high school carpool. The girls all walk to her house and she drives from there. Saves soooo much time and stress.
Back to top

amother
Oak


 

Post Wed, Aug 05 2020, 3:09 pm
Yes!!! I did ask the parents of one of my passenger kids to bring their kid over by 8:15. He comes and plays and then I just load him in the car when I'm ready to go with my own. It's worked well. (Maybe wouldn't work as well with a higher-maintenance kid but he's a sweetie and just chills with his backpack on.) Only possible because they live very close...
Back to top
Page 2 of 2 Previous  1  2 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Birthday gift one year old
by dbg
2 Today at 1:11 am View last post
Affordable 3 year old girls clothes
by amother
4 Today at 12:46 am View last post
[ Poll ] S/o of $40k is $150k a year enough to get by?
by amother
31 Yesterday at 6:40 pm View last post
Smelly feet - 10 year old girl
by amother
4 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 9:45 pm View last post
10 year old isn't emotionally regulated
by amother
23 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 2:47 pm View last post
by keym