Maternity leave + vacation a few weeks later- is it ethical?

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:27 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

First, yup, the U.S. is waaayyy behind the rest of the world. You can take 12 weeks without losing your job, but it isn't paid. I got zero paid leave, while dh for paid paternity leave. Urgh.

Anyway, OP. I know it's hard at your stage. I was like your friends. I had my oldest while in therapy school (not the same therapy as you). I had a c section, but I was missing so much class! I went back at 3 weeks.

Ouw, ouw, ouch!!! Big mistake.

Sure, make a plan A (side note: take Hypnobirthing and don't take an epidural- your chances of a smooth birth and easier recovery are much higher - my subsequent deliveries were better!), but leave your options open so you can see how you feel.

Is your supervisor understanding? Can you talk it over with her as? Present it as you are asking for her wise advice.

Wow, you are superwoman!
I dont even know what hypnobirthing is so I will look into that... as for epidural, I deff. need to educate myself more about it. I know I have to make a birth plan but I have time to decide more.

I dont have a supervisor yet, I havent even been placed in a school yet. Still waiting to see if school opens up. So I dont have that option to speak to her

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:28 pm

Bruria wrote:

Paid family leave in NY is 10 weeks. You can also take a few weeks of disability, 6 weeks for regular birth and 8 weeks if it's a c section. FMLA is 12 weeks.
Assuming you won't need a c section, that leaves you with 6 weeks of disability, plus 10 weeks of Paid Family Leave , plus 2 remaining weeks of FMLA (FMLA and Paid Family leave overlap, but disability doesn't). So that's 18 weeks(2021 they are adding 2 more weeks of Paid Family leave).
I think FMLA can be broken down, check. So you could use those 2 remaining weeks for your vacation.

Need to read and reread this post ten times to understand it. Ugh I feel so dumb I dont know anything!
If we go for pesach then I'd only miss 3-4 days of work because yeshivas will be closed during chol hamoed anyway

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:29 pm

I have the job, HR sent me all the info to fill out etc.
Is it inappropriate to ask them what their maternity leave/vacation day policy is?
I dont really want to tell them Im expecting... Im not even 5 months

amother

Purple

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Oops I forgot to recommend a doula! Silly me.

Wait til school starts. By then you will be 5 months and you will have met your supervisor.

Side note: perhaps this isn't a good year to be flying- with a newborn and a pandemic. Even just regular illnesses like flu and rsv would make me not fly with a baby. I'm the one who decided to miss her sister's wedding in ey because I didn't want to fly with a young baby and I made this decision before the pandemic. I had a thread in the fall or the early winter about it. I just wanted to say that you may just want to stay in this country for pesach.

Hatzlacha!

princessleah

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you considered a regular employee or a trainee?? Is there a difference. Find this out.

Also: FMLA does not kick in until you’ve been at a job for 12 months. Most places will not fire you for having a baby because it’s bad form, but they’re not obligated to hold the job.

Some schools will double dock you for taking vacation the day before school vacation starts. That’s why I was asking who your employer is.

FMLA is for sick leave and taking care of your children. So theoretically, yes it would be unethical to use it to take a vacation.

The upshot is you have to read all the paperwork HR sent you.

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:45 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I actually found a doula from this website (awesome website btw!) but I don't know my hospitals policy of bringing in doulas to hospitals so I feel like there isn't a point now (in terms of covid). No?

Yes of course I'd speak to our physicians before flying if it is an option. Must have been very difficult not being at your sisters chasuna Sad

Our families are both in e"y and we havent seen them since our wedding its really really hard

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:46 pm

princessleah wrote:

Im a regular employee, Im a therapist just working under a supervisor so she signs off on my papers at the end of the year for me to submit to the state. I'm working for a frum agency. During my interview my boss hinted at maternity leave (I think), being newly married things can "come up" and they understand taking time off etc.

OK Im going to look into it thank you!

amother

Purple

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 2:58 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Our families are both in e"y and we havent seen them since our wedding its really really hard

It sounds like most hospitals allow it but I'm not in New York so I really don't know. Your Doula should know all about it!

That sounds really hard! Having all of your family so far away when you're having your first child. I would keep my options open, talk to the doctors then, and speak to your supervisor about it in the fall. So you have a few weeks a mental vacation before you need to deal with this! Enjoy.

Bruria

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 3:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Did your employer give you an employee handbook? Ask for one and read all HR papers you got, ask HR. These are not favors, these are your rights, don't be embarrassed to ask for them.

notshanarishona

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 3:17 pm

If this is a brand new job I wouldn’t say it’s unethical but definitely not the most responsible. On a year when you have a baby, typically for the few months after it’s expected to not take off for anything elective but it really depends on the actual job and expectations.

bsy

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 3:46 pm

I'm a therapist working per diem. you are allowed to take off within reason, but you don't get paid for hours you are not there. I don't know of any set amount of days you are allowed off. Obviously they won't be happy if you take off every other day. Feel free to PM me for more details.

busybee98

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 3:54 pm

Just a word to the wise based on my own personal experience. A month or six weeks sounds like a ton when you've never had a baby before personally I only took off 2 weeks with my first and six weeks with my second and I thought I could do it all. Fast forward I ended up with severe depression and it's a very very difficult. I felt like I could be Superwoman and do it all but really when you're not sleeping at night and you don't know how the baby is going to be and how you're going to feel physically and emotionally just keep in mind that you have to see how you're doing. I hope it all works out for you for the best!

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 4:23 pm

Bruria wrote:

Did your employer give you an employee handbook? Ask for one and read all HR papers you got, ask HR. These are not favors, these are your rights, don't be embarrassed to ask for them.

Didnt receive that. The only papers I received were… a direct deposit form, I-9, w4, NPI instructions, medical form. Its a normal question to ask them for an employee handbook? Do frum agencies even have that?

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 4:25 pm

busybee98 wrote:

Thanks for the advice and kind words :*

Bruria

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 4:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't know about frum agencies in particular, but most companies will provide a new employee with a handbook containing all the information, including vacation and maternity leave.

21young

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 7:44 pm

As others have stated, there are 2 issues: what you are legally allowed to take and what you can take while still making a good impression, especially considering that this is a new job.
To answer your question, do not ask about vacation policy first thing, that’s a red flag for any employer.
Take the standard maternity leave that people at the school take, which is probably 6-8 weeks. Ask your coworkers as you get closer to your due date, and don’t take more than most people take.
You could probably take FMLA or vacation days for Pesach if you go according to their set policy, but again, it won’t make a good impression. You should try not to take vacation within approximately 3 months of coming back after maternity leave. It doesn’t matter that maternity leave is not really vacation, from a productivity standpoint they lost 8 weeks and they won’t be excited to lose more time soon after.

amother

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:32 pm

21young wrote:

Thanks for summing it up so nicely!! I don't think Im staying in this job after I finish my clinical year as its a hard commute to BK everyday and I'd rather be closer to where I live but this is the job I got that offers the most flexibility and best pay tbh.

princessleah

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If you need the clinical hours for licensure you’ll probably have to stay for more than a year, no?
Your leave won’t count towards your hours

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Aug 05 2020, 9:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Are you sure because you mentioned you are a therapist working for an agency. Generally that would make you an independent contractor, not an employee of the school.