S/O leave someone outside

amother

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 3:05 pm

Do you feel comfortable having guests in your home if you (and your kids) are not there?

I am perfectly comfortable having any of my/DH's family and would easily leave my house with them for a week.

I would be OK with DDs' (upper teenage) friends, but only the 2-3 (each) who are practically Bnot-bayits. Her classmates, without her-nope.
A friends who is making a simcha's relatives, for an hour or 2 on Shabbos afternoon when we by other friends, yes-but I don't give over my keys if they are coming before I get home from work and I am not giving my house if I am away for Shabbos.
I live near a hospital and have hosted strangers-not alone in my house at all. I will rearrange my schedule and making sure I am home, but I really do not like people in my house when I am not there. I don't leave a cleaning lady or workmen and I don't have locks on my bedroom door.

amother

Salmon

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:04 pm

Some of my kids, who live in places where people have lots of relatives and simchas, have had complete strangers stay in their apts. when they were away for Shabbos and even all of sukkos. We have benefitted from people who let us stay in their empty house so we could spend shabbos or YT with our children, so I'm grateful to and admiring of all the generous, open people who don't mind doing this. I myself wouldn't be willing to do this and can't blame others who feel the same way, even if it means that my kids can't come to me for YT.

I would let close family stay in my house in my absence--in fact, I would appreciate it because an empty house is a burglar magnet. But not strangers.

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:15 pm

I stayed with strangers once and have had strangers stay in my home. I will obviously use my discretion to make sure this person is not a danger or nuisance to my family in any way. That being said, I will go out of my way to provide accommodations to whoever is in need.

amother

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:25 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

What about if you are not home,
Do you hand over your keys/leave them there all day when you go out.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:37 pm

I wouldn’t allow strangers in my house when I’m not home. But in the case of the story on the other thread I’d make sure that the boy has an indoor safe place to spend the day, and enough food and drink, before going off on my trip. This is not to say that the woman in that story is to blame in any way since we have no clue what her side of the story is.

Genius

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:39 pm

Surplus wrote:

Yes yes and yes.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:53 pm

genius wrote:

Yes yes and yes (sniffle)
Weren’t you trying to convince me that it looks awesome?

I said it makes perfectly sense for a genius. Window to your brain! But you didn’t like it. I’m glad you accepted my opinion.

yiddishmom

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:04 pm

What does it mean a stranger?

I have allowed my neighbors guests to stay in our house over shabbos while we were away. We are good neighbors and I don't think they would put up someone bad/ harmful in my home.

But I would not feel comfortable allowing a complete stranger - meaning someone who no one that I know can vouch for said person - to stay when we are away. I would be ok letting them in when we are home. But away from children's room and with a constant vigilant eye.

I grew up this way. My parents always allowed "strangers" in to the home whether we were home or not. So many people knew/ know my parents combination.

ExtraCredit

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:27 pm

yiddishmom wrote:

That is very special. I am not one of those that are comfortable with leaving my house open for someone else while I’m away. I wish I would be. I find such people incredibly generous!

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What about if you are not home,
Do you hand over your keys/leave them there all day when you go out.

Yes I would give them the combination and leave them in the house when I go out. Obviously this is not a complete stranger off the street, rather someone that knows someone that I know etc. Even if they were to snoop, I’m not sure that they’d find interesting.

amother

Blonde

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:56 pm

We changed the combination for the weekend and then changed it back. I know someone else hat has two combinations locks. She does a lot of hachnosos orchim and hostS people for simchas. When she has guest she only gives them one number and when not hosting she locks both.

Genius

Fri, Aug 07 2020, 6:03 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

I love this idea! I’m impressed with people’s creativity and kindness

heidi

Sat, Aug 08 2020, 2:02 pm

I always host strangers for friend's simchas. I don't consider them strangers.
I am definitely more hesistant about having someone I don't know if I'm not home.
I agreed one time bcz. a good friend asked and said it was his good friend.
Turned out to be my cousin's brother in law!

FranticFrummie

Sat, Aug 08 2020, 2:09 pm

If they are a "stranger" stranger, like off the street and someone nobody knows, then of course not. That would be weird. (On the other hand, if someone was in serious distress, and needed a place to wait until the police came, like in a domestic violence situation, then I would absolutely take them in.)

I have taken in other people in need, but with a certain amount of seichel, of course. If I was not in a position to take them in, I would do everything I could to find them other accommodations, or at least give them a few phone numbers they could call and try to make arrangements.

I would definitely feed them, even if it's just a granola bar and a juice box or bottle of water.

When I was in my late teens, early 20's, there have been times when I was literally homeless. I depended on friends of friends to let me crash on their sofa, or at least on the back seat of their car. I was incredibly grateful for any kindness anyone could extend to me, even if it was just giving me some spare change, or letting me pick fruit off of their trees.

Because of that, I feel an obligation to help others whenever it is possible, and it doesn't put anyone else at risk.