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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
smile18
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 Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:46 pm
Thanks crust and surplus for chiming in..
Had a good laugh from your posts..
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ExtraCredit
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:50 pm
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I’m still bothered about the cat one though! Don’t like stories without neat little endings. I was actually the OP who suggested to Yael to write a little post before a thread gets locked.
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crust
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:54 pm
| Surplus wrote: | | I’m still bothered about the cat one though! Don’t like stories without neat little endings. I was actually the OP who suggested to Yael to write a little post before a thread gets locked. |
Now you're outing yourself as well.
You know surplus? Oh yeah! She's the OP of "that" thread on imamother.
כ'געדענק איר נאך פון דערהיים
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ExtraCredit
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 4:59 pm
| crust wrote: | Now you're outing yourself as well.
You know surplus? Oh yeah! She's the OP of "that" thread on imamother.
כ'געדענק איר נאך פון דערהיים |
Yup so if the locked threads now get little explanations you know whom to thank. And to send ice cream to. Pistachio flavored with Cookie crumbs. I’ll be waiting on the kitchen floor. Inderheim.
But this derailing is not so fair...
We should open a thread just to shmooze!
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crust
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:08 pm
| Surplus wrote: | Yup so if the locked threads now get little explanations you know whom to thank. And to send ice cream to. Pistachio flavored with Cookie crumbs. I’ll be waiting on the kitchen floor. Inderheim.
But this derailing is not so fair...
We should open a thread just to shmooze! |
Here
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....15703
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dancingqueen
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:12 pm
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I’m sure the host family asked ops son if he could figure out plans for the day (as he was already traveling by himself at that point) since they were going on a trip, he said yes, and they felt good about themselves for giving him a ride at night.
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amother
Gold
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 5:26 pm
One thing that I think is bothering the OP so much is the fact that it's a neighbor and friend who said he'd "take care"of him. If a close neighbor or close friend or aunt and uncle said that to me, as a parent, I'd think he would be totally taken care of. My landlord, who lives upstairs from me, went away for a few weeks. Her 18 year old daughter stayed back for work. I told my neighbor is watch out for her. She's fully independent. But I check up at least every morning and evening. I make sure she has what to eat. (She's pretty good at taking care of herself, but I check anyway.) When we were out of power and went to stay at my mother, I checked she had a place to stay too. I feel a level of responsibility because of how close I am to the family.
Imagine the OP's story with one change. Instead of a neighbor/friend, it was an Aunt/Uncle. I think that's how OP is looking at it. Her son isn't some stranger. They are close. In that context, writing, "we'll take care of you" is saying, welcome, don't worry about anything, anything you need, etc.
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amother
Slateblue
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 6:58 pm
My dh grew up in Europe. Spent summers in Switzerland. In fact my bil and family are there now. He says that yidden rent homes, apts, bungalows whatever you want to call them. The rentals are near shuls and groups of yidden together. As a 17 yr old, Dh, (and this was before cell phones) would have located the shul and gone in there to wait or find other people. There should be others whom he possibly knows. (I am assuming the young man and neighbors are from Europe, not the states.)
As a mom of very independent children who have traveled alone overseas, ( as did I) the only thing I would have done differently was to contact the mrs neighbor and confirmed details with her.
Not judging anyone because I learned that things happen that are not in control and that there is more than meets the eyes to every story.
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amother
Teal
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Fri, Aug 07 2020, 7:25 pm
Would not expect someone on vacation or not to drop their plans to suddenly and unexpectedly host me or my young adults old enough to be traveling alone.
Honestly I'd be grateful for the two hour ride.
Sorry you are so upset Op, though did not sound like your son was, but these people may feel they did do a big chesed for you/your son and have no idea that you are so upset. I doubt they see it as they left him outside as per your thread title.
Miscommunication all around.
Can think of many reasons how this could happen. And even how it could make sense. Does not sound like I would be stranded out in the freezing cold or homeless or hungry as it sounds like it is summer there, there is a grocery store, and a shul etc. things to do and tour, what was he there for and why to begin with?
We as well as my parents have taken in young adults who were traveling with no place to stay (not due to any emergencies B"H) and the results were not always something to write home about. That said, not always the case and if we could we did.
Hope you are feeling better Op. Sounds like your son is ok though you were hurt and upset. There really has to be more to the story. Hope you find out and resolve the issue.
Maybe it was Covid related? Where we live people are not casually letting people in or hosting travelers etc
The more I think about this strange scenario your surprise his willingness and then not coming in the more I think it has to do with how people are handling Covid.
Hope you can fargin
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amother
Silver
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 3:49 pm
OP I totally feel for you. There is an age where kids are kind of independent, kind of not. They want to be but aren't like an adult that can just work things out alone.
I had situation somewhat similar but diff. we live in israel and my son was in the US which for all intents and purposes is a foreign country to him. He is pretty independent, but also relied alot on friends and family for help since he can't drive and didnt really know his way around. He was supposed to get the bus from bkln to lkwd (I can't remember if it was that or balt) and my parents from far rockaway dropped him off at his friends' grandparents house who were supposed to take him to the bus hours later. My parents assumed he would stay at his friends grandparents house until it was time to go to the bus so dropped him off and left. Friends grandparents didn't let him in the house (they were home at the time) and he was sitting on their doorstep for many hours alone and he doesn't know the area at all or anyone else nearby. no toilet, food or whatever. true he could've wandered around brooklyn and looked for a shul supermarket or whatever but remember we're talking about an Israeli teen who knows nothing about blkn and is really just there to get his bus to reach his dest the only way he knows how.
at the very last second they came out of the house and rushed him into the car to drive him to the bus which he almost missed and they had to stop in front of it to basically flag it down. It was a very demeaning and unpleasant experience. I know all the posters above will have so much to say as a rebuttal. but tachlis he was left alone in a foreign place in a most unpleasant way by people who could have helped him.
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amother
Slateblue
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:19 pm
| amother [ Silver ] wrote: | OP I totally feel for you. There is an age where kids are kind of independent, kind of not. They want to be but aren't like an adult that can just work things out alone.
I had situation somewhat similar but diff. we live in israel and my son was in the US which for all intents and purposes is a foreign country to him. He is pretty independent, but also relied alot on friends and family for help since he can't drive and didnt really know his way around. He was supposed to get the bus from bkln to lkwd (I can't remember if it was that or balt) and my parents from far rockaway dropped him off at his friends' grandparents house who were supposed to take him to the bus hours later. My parents assumed he would stay at his friends grandparents house until it was time to go to the bus so dropped him off and left. Friends grandparents didn't let him in the house (they were home at the time) and he was sitting on their doorstep for many hours alone and he doesn't know the area at all or anyone else nearby. no toilet, food or whatever. true he could've wandered around brooklyn and looked for a shul supermarket or whatever but remember we're talking about an Israeli teen who knows nothing about blkn and is really just there to get his bus to reach his dest the only way he knows how.
at the very last second they came out of the house and rushed him into the car to drive him to the bus which he almost missed and they had to stop in front of it to basically flag it down. It was a very demeaning and unpleasant experience. I know all the posters above will have so much to say as a rebuttal. but tachlis he was left alone in a foreign place in a most unpleasant way by people who could have helped him. |
Oysh. Horrible.
2 questions
Why did your parents leave him there without making sure he was ok?
Did he not have a cell phone?
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amother
Teal
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:25 pm
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So sorry this happened, again sounds like a lot of assumptions, miscommunications, and again...Covid.
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mommy3b2c
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:29 pm
| amother [ Teal ] wrote: | | So sorry this happened, again sounds like a lot of assumptions, miscommunications, and again...Covid. |
Wt* cares what kind of miscommunications and assumptions there were???!!!!!
Who tells someone, “no you can’t come in my house now.”
Do I live in an alternate universe or something??
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ExtraCredit
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:31 pm
| mommy3b2c wrote: | Wt* cares what kind of miscommunications and assumptions there were???!!!!!
Who tells someone, “no you can’t come in my house now.”
Do I live in an alternate universe or something?? |
Yes, I’m sorry, you seem a little judgemental. Not everyone can always call in anyone at the drop of a hat. I can think of 10 possible reasons why not.
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QueensMama
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:32 pm
| mommy3b2c wrote: | Wt* cares what kind of miscommunications and assumptions there were???!!!!!
Who tells someone, “no you can’t come in my house now.”
Do I live in an alternate universe or something?? |
She's trying to say that these were elderly people and these are covid times.
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ExtraCredit
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:33 pm
| QueensMama wrote: | | She's trying to say that these were elderly people and these are covid times. |
This is one scenario and there can be many more.
Just read back on a couple of possibilities others posted.
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mommy3b2c
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:49 pm
| QueensMama wrote: | | She's trying to say that these were elderly people and these are covid times. |
So then the elderly people say, “we are so, so sorry. We are to worried about covid. Here’s some money, go to the pizza shop down the block and buy yourself some food. Let us also show you to the Shul next door so you can be comfortable while you wait.”
They don’t lock someone out of their house!!!
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mommy3b2c
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:51 pm
| Surplus wrote: | | Yes, I’m sorry, you seem a little judgemental. Not everyone can always call in anyone at the drop of a hat. I can think of 10 possible reasons why not. |
Name the reasons please.
Also, please tell me why they can’t be polite enough to at least give the person the reason?
And yes, I am very judgmental of nasty people.
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Blessing1
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Sat, Aug 08 2020, 10:54 pm
| mommy3b2c wrote: | Wt* cares what kind of miscommunications and assumptions there were???!!!!!
Who tells someone, “no you can’t come in my house now.”
Do I live in an alternate universe or something?? |
OP didn't say the exact words the people used.
There's are plenty of reasons why one wouldn't let an unexpected guest stay at their house alone.
You're pretty harsh and judgmental, especially because we're only seeing one side of the story. A side of the story that shows irresponsibility and lack or communication. So we can't judge based on only one side.
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