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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Do they help with non- cancer related procedures? DD was born with this cranio-facial disfigurement that requires her to have a trach and can only eat thru feeding tube. Do the help for this kind of thing?
Try Chaverim Lirfua.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:36 pm
Yes if I were in your position I would refinance my mortgage and take the extra financial burden on myself, if that will keep my family from burdening others with a go fund me page- why should others take that burden for you? You are not talking about not being able to afford food- you are talking about being less financially comfortable, and spending more on interest than you otherwise would have. And you are doing this for your daughter’s benefit. It’s your reality, as hard as it is and I feel for you. But it sounds like your husband would rather put the burden on others than on his financial outlook. And no, draining your savings is not the answer, but relying on it for monthly payments may be.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 1:43 pm
I would probably go the refinancing route.
Are you able in israel to pay off mortgages early?
For now you will have low payments and the money to pay the surgery
And if in a few years you are much better off you pay a lot more to your mortgage which will reduce your interest alot.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:04 pm
I think you should start a gofundme, or chesedfund. Speak to a Rav first, but I think this qualifies.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:08 pm
I think there's an organization that pays for plane tickets for this kind of thing using donated credit card points. I don't remember the name. Does any know have info on that?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:12 pm
We can pay off our mortgage early but there is a big fine if we do so

This is probably is the route we will take - even though it seems crazy that they are making so much money off us.

I found it interesting how many people got so upset about taking money with a go-fund me but are more ok with taking money from organizations (same tzeddaka - no?).
I don't feel comfortable taking money - especially on that kind of platform which is only successful if you ask a lot of friends and family (I'm embarressed for friends and family to know the situation we are in financially and it wouldn't be ethical IMHO to ask with out being open about the exact finacail situation)
which is why we aren't going that route but its interesting when you look at the things people are raising for - not saying these aren't worthy causes but I don't see how they are more of a need the the surgery
https://www.gofundme.com/f/wor.....chnun
https://www.gofundme.com/f/pla.....srael
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:17 pm
I found it interesting how many people got so upset about taking money with a go-fund me but are more ok with taking money from organizations (same tzeddaka - no?).

AGREED

People raise $$ for all kinds of random Things.. Unfortunately this is what discourages people from giving when it’s real.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 2:21 pm
I wouldn't do a go fund me simply because it's so hard to make them successful. I definitely think you should reach out to tzedaka organizations (I'm sorry I don't know of any) to see if they can help so that even if you do refinance it won't be as high of an interest rate
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 4:08 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
Yes if I were in your position I would refinance my mortgage and take the extra financial burden on myself, if that will keep my family from burdening others with a go fund me page- why should others take that burden for you? You are not talking about not being able to afford food- you are talking about being less financially comfortable, and spending more on interest than you otherwise would have. And you are doing this for your daughter’s benefit. It’s your reality, as hard as it is and I feel for you. But it sounds like your husband would rather put the burden on others than on his financial outlook. And no, draining your savings is not the answer, but relying on it for monthly payments may be.


No. We are Rachmanim. When someone is desperate and in need we don’t need to grade their neediness. We don’t consider it a burden, we consider it a zechus to help a brother. If you opened a gofundme I would gladly contribute, and be happy that you’re holding on to a bit of savings. G-d gives to us so that we can give to others.
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SYA




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 5:50 pm
Refinancing will make your monthly payments higher. As your husband is now unemployed, you need your savings to tide you over till he gets a new job. If you refinance, the savings will disappear quickly, and then how will you pay your mortgage and buy food.

As Jews we are rachmanim bnei rachmanim. It is not a time for others to judge someone who is going through a difficult time.

OP, if you post a chessedfund (they don’t charge fees, while gofundme does) I will bli neder give. And I’m sure many other imas will also. You don’t have to provide all the details that people can figure out who you are, so you can maintain your privacy.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 5:59 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
I wouldn't ask for tzedaka if I had savings. I think it's unfair to people who contribute.


If OP had a couple hundred thousand socked away, I would agree with you. But she doesn't. Its a way too small emergency fund that she may need if she needs to take time off while the child convalesces.

OP, IMNSHO you should try a chesed campaign to pay for some of the expenses. From what you said, your child needs the surgery, and the doctors in Israel aren't well qualified. Its a good cause. Second choice is the refinance. You may need both.

Refuah shleima to your child. May the surgery be a success, and may they grow in health and Torah every day.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 7:15 pm
OP ask your account at if you can use his office as an adress for your bank account. I work for a small tax firm and a couple of foreign clients use our office as their US mailing adress.

Or if your comfortable, feel safe about it and the relationship lends itself, you can ask your accountant to be a co-signer. You have to 100% trust anyone you do this with as any funds deposited to such an account can be legally withdrawn by the co-signer.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 09 2020, 8:34 pm
Open the go fund me. Those who can give will give. Those who can’t or aren’t interested- won’t.

Please get Yael’s permission to put it here so that we can help you a bit.
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