How to deal with kids when you have "spoiled" neigbors

mha3484

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 3:22 pm

I talk to my kids a lot about priorities. Some people really like getting a brand new lego set some people like going out to eat some like to travel. We can all be different people who spends on what we enjoy. I have different kids with really different priorities and I try to meet them in the middle.

I am the opposite to what Saw said about the ice cream truck. My oldest kid and kind of my second but not as much really like the experience of buying ice cream at the store so we have family clean up time on Sundays followed by a trip to the ice cream store or 7/11 for slurpees. I save on the cleaning lady and they get the experience they enjoy of ordering and eating there. By talking to them about what really interests them we can work it out without anyone feeling neglected.

amother

Rose

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 3:52 pm

In terms of practical advice, you should show your kids how to combine different sets of toys, art supplies, and sports equipment in new ways and encourage them to do so all the time. They will be amused longer with the same things.

For example, my 2.5 year old frequently uses his Magnatiles to build a "garage" for his trucks and cars, or a "zoo" or "farm" for his toy animals and "farmers." The toy animals themselves are a mix of dollar store prizes, Lego, and Playmobil, some bought for him and some cast off by his older siblings. The "farmers" are random small people from Melissa and Doug sets or Barbie or Lego or Playmobil. They often look nothing like farmers.

My older kids build a new Lego set once, but then they strip it for parts and use it to build new stuff and incorporate other small toys like Playmobil or dollhouse furniture. They like to get ideas for new builds on Youtube. We strictly limit and supervise their YouTube access, but this has been a good use of it.

We have an old plastic slide that the kids don't use much for sliding anymore, but they like to race toy cars and trucks down it.

Sometimes their attempted combinations are not so safe. We did not let our 6 year old ride a balance bike down the slide, for example, that was too much for me. And, while we let the slide be combined with a wading pool to make a water slide, we refused to let them jump off it like a diving board into the 12 inch deep pool.

But overall, repurposing and recombining can be a lot of fun. Good luck!

amother

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 10:08 pm

lot's of good perspective and ideas. thanks ladies. I agree with every post. the thing is, my 6 yr old wants ice cream cuz she wants ice cream and also if everyone else has then she wants it even more. okay. I can't tell my 6 yr old that we're not getting from the truck cuz its too much money and we buy double the amount for the same amount in the grocery. I don't want my kids, at this age, to think about money and to wish we had more (as much as the neigbors) or to be money hungry.
my son keeps asking for more playmobile, when I say no he asks why? what do I say?
usually I tell him we only get big treats for big occasions, so he'll make up an occasion or make himself a chart and tells me playmobile will be his reward. I have a hard time arguing with his logic.

how do I do everything that was mentioned above without making it about money and what we can or can't afford?

keym

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 10:59 pm

I don't mind teaching money a bit.
I tell my kids that iyh we have plenty for our NEEDS, but we budget for WANTS.
And then set aside $10 for ice cream for 2 weeks kind of as an allowance. Show them that when you buy from the truck, you blow the whole $10 on one time, but a tub a cones lasts a lot longer.

It's possible to teach kids about the value of money and making good money decisions without panicking them about money.

HelloG

Thu, Aug 13 2020, 11:14 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

thank you for your response. I know this is 100% true but my heart aches when I can't give them what they keep seeing.
even though I bought new playmobile for pesach the neigbors already got three new sets since and my kids are bored of theirs and they want the next shiny thing.
there's something about ice cream from the truck with the music that you can hear approaching a mile away. even when I have sugar cones and yummy ice cream and toppings they want what everyone has. I don't want to make it about money cuz I don't like when little kids talk about money. it's not my way.
thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

ofc, with your niece you have something to "blame" it on and it's a good perspective but BH I don't have that reasoning to give. BH sounds like your niece recovered.

your heart aching is the key in my opinion. children will feel what you feel. they want to please you. get it straight in your mind. approach it with confidence and so will they iyh