How old are your parents? S/O Punishment thread

amother

Amber

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 9:38 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I'm the one ima who's mom is 39☺☺ my dad is in his early 40's.
My dad copied a lot pf the chinuch he got from his father, LOTS of yelling and anger. My mother teied to get him to stop, I think he did go for help or something, bec he's really calmed down. My mom was great bh.
Like lots of posters said above, I have a very fake relationship with my dad. Altho, that's what he saw at home. When he got together with his fam, they all used to reminisce how their dad would hit them and yell at them, but once my grandfather died, suddenly they all talk about what a tzaddik he was.
I wonder if I'll do the same, but then I remember my father dragging my 6 year old brother out the room by his ears and screaming at him in front of his friends...and I know that even if the world would tell me that my father was a special man, unfortunatly, that is the image I have of him inprinted in my mind

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Aug 17 2020, 10:39 pm

nchr wrote:

Are you saying the average individual is carrying an enormous amount of shame and guilt? I'm not referring to the few who are.

Frum people?
Yes I totally believe they are. Because sadly we have been taught to keep halacha through shame and guilt. It's also been rampant in our schools for decades. And because we've had this shtup under the rug secret skeletons all covered up nicely in homes of people with important last names. And more reasons too.
Now maybe you can answer why you'd rather think ill of people than believe that they have sensory issues or other reasons a mask bother them?

nchr

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 6:23 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I never think ill of an individual. Literally never. You cannot ever really blame individual since on an individual level you can understand and excuse behavior. However, as a group I can place blame, although it too is influenced by socioeconomic and cultural factors. At a certain point the majority of individuals should just be able to push through inconveniences. Otherwise there's an entirely worse level of dysfunctional than my selfish, unaccountable, lazy, etc. adjectives you didn't like.