So hurt, comment on weight loss

amother

Peach

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 4:31 pm

zaq wrote:

Some people feel that other people's achievements--in any arena--make them look less accomplished, so they have to disparage the other to feel better about themselves. Feel sorry for this woman who is so insecure she has to belittle you for doing something that has nothing to do with her.

I’m embarrassed to say I catch this happening to me sometimes. Sometimes I just can’t be happy or empathetic to others when I’m struggling and sometimes let rude comments or expressions slip and then spend a lifetime wishing I could take those tactless mean things back. I still agonise about tactless mean comments I obviously made 10 and 20 years ago. This is a terrible mida and I’ve been working on it for years. I am a bit socially awkward and am working very hard to be truly happy and empathetic. On behalf of that woman who probably wanted to swallow her tongue the second those stupid tactless mean words came out, I whole heartedly apologise to you. Way to go OP. That is a huge achievement.

ExtraCredit

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 4:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I had a terrible experience by a simcha last night I just have to vent. I am very overweight and tried dieting seriously for the past three months. I so far lost about twenty pounds. I know I still need to loose more, but I feel happier with how I look and overall healthier. Last night and a few people complimented me on my weight loss. I felt very good until one lady who is a size zero, and think is a personal trainer saidSomething like, “yes it’s very impressive but you have a looong way to go.” I left in tears. What was the point of that comment? It’s one thing if I was her client, but to say that to someone at a vort! I’m just venting and hoping some of you ladies can help me feel better.

She’s got a loooooooong way to go in tact and social skills.
I wonder if she even had the decency to bite her tongue afterwards. Something tells me she didn’t.
Congrats OP on your 20 lb loss! I’d love to hear how you did it. Only if Ice cream

is allowed on that diet!

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 11:37 pm

Iymnok wrote:

From what I’ve heard about keto is that in the beginning your figure improves even before you lose weight. Therefore, I’m sure that you look really good!

Weirdly that seems to be true. I know a lot of people who didn’t drop a pound but lost size. I don’t understand the mechanism but it does seem to be true.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Aug 18 2020, 11:45 pm

amother [ Peach ] wrote:

Peach, I think it’s awesome that you know this about yourself and are working on it. I did not know this attitude existed until my past three years. There are people ( unfortunately other people have told me) that just can’t stand to look at me and my husband. Between us we have lost 175 pounds ( me 120, him 65.) They are mostly not outright mean but they do say a lot of stuff behind our backs. I’ve been told by numerous people that people are watching to see when we screw up so that they can feel better about themselves. If I had a penny for every time someone told me that someone else said mean things about me and either how I’m losing weight or that I am still fat so whatever I am doing isn’t working ( I lost 80 in the first year and thirty plus in the two plus years after that. I’m still at least 80 pounds overweight,) I’d be rich.

I have lots of character flaws but I came from a place where if someone was doing well I was just happy for them, because I’d given up hope for myself anyways.

I think since you know this and are working on it, you too are in a better place than you used to be. Don’t give up hope!