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How do people do it?
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:08 am
We live in Brooklyn, after taxes, maaser, insurance and tuition we have 5000 a month (about).
housing plus utilities is 2,500
food is 800 (5 people)
cleaning help is 200
gas and car insurance 100
and everything else is a fund. That means we put in x amount of money a month and build the money up so we can spend it as we afford it.
We paid off our car so we have no car payments.
clothing, furniture, gifts, grooming, dates are all funds.
I know our lives are different (your car payments are much larger etc but we have 3 kids and other things are more).
Just wanted to give an example of a lifestyle break down.
My best advice is to pay yourself first ie budget from after youve put savings away.
The create funds so you can build these things slowly and you spend as you have not the other way around.
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lilies




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:27 am
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
We live in Brooklyn, after taxes, maaser, insurance and tuition we have 5000 a month (about).
housing plus utilities is 2,500
food is 800 (5 people)
cleaning help is 200
gas and car insurance 100
and everything else is a fund. That means we put in x amount of money a month and build the money up so we can spend it as we afford it.
We paid off our car so we have no car payments.
clothing, furniture, gifts, grooming, dates are all funds.


Can you explain? What do you mean by fund?
If it's time for new shoes, or there's an unexpected expense how does that work?
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:30 am
amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:
Are u counting in parental help/ gifts in the 4/5k?

Just curious cuz we spend around the same but need to make more cuz unlike poster above, I needed to budget for all the new baby stuff bh( got a few random stretchies and a mamaroo as gifts:), was a girl so I ended up having the money I saved for a bris to use for help which was amazing. It’s wasn’t as expensive as I thought and OP if it’s helpful I’m happy to break down the numbers of baby costs specifically.

Point is that a lot of ppl don’t realize how those costs that parents subsidize(Yom Tov, shopping spree etc.) add up quickly if you’re doing all of it on your own.

That being said 4/5k for us is including very high rent and living nicely so I do think there’s a way to manipulate the numbers and iyh make room for a baby comfortably.


I generally don’t make YT and when I iyH have my next baby I have all the gear I need. But yes, my parents and in-laws paid for the bris and strollers. We bought just the crib and dresser.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:44 am
lilies wrote:
Can you explain? What do you mean by fund?
If it's time for new shoes, or there's an unexpected expense how does that work?


Like many others, when starting out it took me a bit before I realized that every month there were *unexpected* expenses. They weren't really emergency expenses but were expenses that didn't necessarily fall into specific categories and therefore one couldn't determine when or what amount they would be.

Therefore, one sets aside a certain amount each month to "fund" an amount to be used for those kinds of expenses. Some months you won't have to use it and some months you will.

I am not sure if this is what is meant by a "fund" but this separate savings amount enables me to be realistic about the actual cost of what I need to live on since some expenses aren't monthly and are unique.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:51 am
I think cleaning help is an unnecessary expense for just 2 people. Also its $13 an hour in lakewood even if you would take her for once a week for an hour (how long does a basement need?) it would come out to $52 a month.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:54 am
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
I think cleaning help is an unnecessary expense for just 2 people. Also its $13 an hour in lakewood even if you would take her for once a week for an hour (how long does a basement need?) it would come out to $52 a month.


I honestly don’t think it’s your place to decide if op needs cleaning help or not. She and dh both work full time.

It takes 2 hours minimum to properly clean an apartment.

Also where did you get $13/hr?? Cleaning help is at least $14 if you are lucky. I pay $15/hr.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 11:59 am
SuperWify wrote:
I honestly don’t think it’s your place to decide if op needs cleaning help or not. She and dh both work full time.

It takes 2 hours minimum to properly clean an apartment.

Also where did you get $13/hr?? Cleaning help is at least $14 if you are lucky. I pay $15/hr.


Same here + I have a baby and I dont use cleaning help because we cant afford it. The few times I got cleaning help it was $13 an hour andI had her for an hour. If 2 averagely clean people dont make a huge mess it doesnt take so long to clean an apartment.
I would love cleaning help if I can afford it. OP is asking what she can cut down on.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 12:00 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I honestly don’t think it’s your place to decide if op needs cleaning help or not. She and dh both work full time.

It takes 2 hours minimum to properly clean an apartment.

Also where did you get $13/hr?? Cleaning help is at least $14 if you are lucky. I pay $15/hr.


Also how would you possibly get a cleaning woman to come for an hour? Maybe a teenager living next door but in my experience a cleaning person generally has a minimum amount they will accept.

Also - not to hijack - but bathrooms, kitchen, bedroom and living area need cleaning and take time even if square footage is relatively small. It is actually harder to clean a smaller area than a larger room since a large room would generally have more floor area that isn't filled with furniture.

Nobody is going to come and scrub your bathroom and kitchen for $13 once a week.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 12:03 pm
Amarante wrote:
Also how would you possibly get a cleaning woman to come for an hour? Maybe a teenager living next door but in my experience a cleaning person generally has a minimum amount they will accept.

Also - not to hijack - but bathrooms, kitchen, bedroom and living area need cleaning and take time even if square footage is relatively small. It is actually harder to clean a smaller area than a larger room since a large room would generally have more floor area that isn't filled with furniture.

Nobody is going to come and scrub your bathroom and kitchen for $13 once a week.


Basements dont take so long to clean because they arent usually very big. People who live in basements usually split with neighbors in the area to cover the time for what they dont need

Speaking from experience. I get someone for an hour to come clean my 2 bedroom apartment.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 12:05 pm
amother [ Slategray ] wrote:
Same here + I have a baby and I dont use cleaning help because we cant afford it. The few times I got cleaning help it was $13 an hour andI had her for an hour. If 2 averagely clean people dont make a huge mess it doesnt take so long to clean an apartment.
I would love cleaning help if I can afford it. OP is asking what she can cut down on.


Yay you.
I work full time and definitely need cleaning help.
I also needed it when we were just 2.
I don’t have it for other reasons (example I can’t find someone who will come for 3 hours let alone 1!)

Also, it’s not like she can’t afford it.
If she budgets properly, she definitely can with that salary
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 2:04 pm
As far as cleaning help goes, we both work very long hours (more than regular 9-5 sometimes) and so cleaning is just too hard to do after everything else. I don’t really need a full 2 hours (I have her do other things like fold laundry, change linen, etc to fill time) and can probably get away with 1 but nobody is willing to come for an hour.
Right now, all extras we have left go into savings in addition to the 300 we usually put away. During corona we put away a lot BH because we were both still paid and had no gas expenses and stImulus went to savings. The problem is the unexpected usually takes up all the extras. Like a poster said before-yom tov is expensive so purim costed us a nice bit, same for pesach, shavuos or an occasional vacation (we try to use cc points). Our car needed close to 1k in work recently and that really put us behind also. (Right now still trying to catch ourselves up from that) I had a family wedding and needed hair and makeup done. All that ends up in miscellaneous.
We went over the subscriptions. A little more than 50 for WiFi, 11 for Apple Music, about 30 for a Hulu subscription (dh uses for sports and it’s not an argument I will ever win) and both of our iCloud storage subscriptions so it’s about 100.
Parents and in laws don’t help and won’t help with baby expense. They will not be buying a Doona or furniture. If I’m lucky I’ll get a stretchy from them. A bris, kiddish, stroller, etc is all up to us to pay for.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 2:59 pm
what is icloud and why is it expensive? I pay less than 10 a month for dropbox and it gives me all the space I need.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 3:04 pm
TwinsMommy wrote:
what is icloud and why is it expensive? I pay less than 10 a month for dropbox and it gives me all the space I need.

iCloud is apples cloud and they are about 3/4 a month each of us. Altogether subscriptions are 100, not just iCloud
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 3:05 pm
oh that makes a lot more sense. Smile
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baby12x




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 3:09 pm
The point isn't what OP is spending on.
Everyone spends on what is important to THEM.
Right now, OP, you have to make a decision on what is important to you and then budget accordingly.
What do you want more? Savings or icloud?
Do you want to save up for baby stuff or go on vacation?
None of these questions can anyone answer for you.

Fact is, there is no secret.
You have the money you make. You get to decide how to spend it.
Take a pen and paper and write down your income and expenses.
Do not spend more than what you budget.

If you wang frugal hacks and tips to stretch your budget then we can help.
But we can't make money appear where it doesn't exist.

So figure out the budget. Include the things that are important to you and stick to it.
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baby12x




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 3:12 pm
Amarante wrote:
Like many others, when starting out it took me a bit before I realized that every month there were *unexpected* expenses. They weren't really emergency expenses but were expenses that didn't necessarily fall into specific categories and therefore one couldn't determine when or what amount they would be.

Therefore, one sets aside a certain amount each month to "fund" an amount to be used for those kinds of expenses. Some months you won't have to use it and some months you will.

I am not sure if this is what is meant by a "fund" but this separate savings amount enables me to be realistic about the actual cost of what I need to live on since some expenses aren't monthly and are unique.


I call this my "Life Happens Fund" because life happens and its better to be prepared instead of being stressed out when something comes up.

https://adimesaved.com/life-ha.....-fund


Last edited by baby12x on Mon, Aug 24 2020, 4:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 3:38 pm
baby12x wrote:
The point isn't what OP is spending on.
Everyone spends on what is important to THEM.
Right now, OP, you have to make a decision on what is important to you and then budget accordingly.
What do you want more? Savings or icloud?
Do you want to save up for baby stuff or go on vacation?
None of these questions can anyone answer for you.

Fact is, there is no secret.
You have the money you make. You get to decide how to spend it.
Take a pen and paper and write down your income and expenses.
Do not spend more than what you budget.

If you wang frugal hacks and tips to stretch your budget then we can help.
But we can't make money appear where it doesn't exist.

So figure out the budget. Include the things that are important to you and stick to it.


This!

I made a lot less than you were making but I budgeted accordingly.
Reframe it not as “I can’t afford it” but “it’s not in my “budget”.

I budgeted for a bris, baby gear, pidyon haben, etc.

My in laws surprised me and helped me out, so I splurged A little more than I budgeted on the stroller. The rest I stayed in savings.

I budget like crazy because Savings is important to me and debt is scary to me.

We all have priorities but it’s definitely doable.

How others do it? My friends either have debt or their parents cc.
It’s as simple as that.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 4:59 pm
A fund is a category that you fund by adding a bit each month, some months you need to use it and some months you just refill it.
Car maintenance
Gifts and vacation
Yom tov
Simchos (baby)
Clothing
So maybe you put in $50 in each category a month.
Its just a way to build savings for things that are not emergencies but are also not the same each month.

OP what I would do is look at your budget and decide which things you want to spend on and which things you are ok to cut or spend less on. Its basic math. Either you spend less or you earn more.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Aug 23 2020, 7:22 pm
I was thinking 100 for cleaning help for the month is inexpensive, but I pay more than many other imamothers.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Fri, Aug 28 2020, 6:49 pm
I also don’t have kids and we are making over 200k gross which technically makes me rich but I’m very careful because DH has his own business (Who knows if it will do well) and we are also trying to save up to buy a house which is very expensive where we live. But it would never cross my mind to wait to have children because of money
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