What is it with girls?

amother

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:39 am

My poor DD. She has only a few friends in our neighborhood that she can socialize with, literally. Our community is that small. She is always so willing and happy when a friend wants to hang out or play. But it seems that after a few weeks of hanging out on Shabbos or Sundays or after school, the friend just drops her and has nothing to do with her for months. It's like they just get sick of hanging out with her. Seems so hurtful. Is this a typical thing for pre-teens?

amother

Pink

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:50 am

A: Some girls are better socially than others. My daughter (10yo) is like yours, she craves friends and social interaction, and other girls snub her a lot. It seems to be a personality type.
B: Pretty much all girls are catty. They'll be friends. They'll fight. They'll drop the friend. They'll tell all the other girls not to be friends with the former friend. They make up. They're friends. Wash, repeat.

It's painful to watch your dd suffer if she's the sensitive type. And to some extent, I'm not sure there's what to be done about it. You should not intervene and call other moms in most cases of girl fighting. You can try to build up your daughter's self confidence on your own turf. And buy her lots of things that other girls will want to play with and in some way, it will "buy" her friends. I get my daughter jump ropes, elastics (for Chinese jump rope) balls, roller blades. I even let her take "Mankala" to school one day. Also card games. Not the solution, but it helps.

amother

Black

Sun, Aug 30 2020, 10:59 am

I'm having issues too. With my older ones, it used to be you play with the whole neighborhood and had a great time. Now it's more clickiness and one on one friendships. My 11 year old has one girl to play with. My teen has no one. I don't know if it's just my neighborhood, and if moving would help, or if it's like that everywhere. They do have school friends, but it's too far for Shabbos.