My kids don’t cooperate or care about others

amother

Tue, Sep 08 2020, 10:39 am

Ages 9,7,6,4. They are all appropriately kind and compassionate. I think. They just don’t care about house rules or how thier behavior is affecting others.
This morning my 9 yr old was able to turn on the computer (without the password?) and turned on a video. After I told him to turn it off we had a convo about trust and cooperation... and since he knows that he is allowed to use his tablet for 30 min in the evening and no other devices without permission. He would now lose his screen time for the day.
A bit later all 3 kids, who had been reminded repeatedly that little sis was sleeping and they sh please be quiet (this wasn’t a new concept) so 3 kids were play/ shouting just outside the bedroom area. And I could see 9 yr olds eyes darting to me. He knew it was wrong. He just wanted to be loud n didn’t care about the consequences. My 7 yr old is very testy. And negative attention seeking. She often dies things to provoke a reaction. And 6 yr old is just not mature or self aware enough to know better. What can I do to give my 9 yr old the awareness and confidence to do the right thing (he’s been positively reinforced Verbally and with rewards since infancy)