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-> Parenting our children
Goldgold
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 7:09 am
Ruchel wrote: | I enjoy being and interacting, I don't enjoy "chores" that a servant could do |
What "chores" could a servant do?
I love caring for them and taking care of their every need.
I want to be the one to care for them. Why would I want someone else to get this privilege?
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Kiwi13
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 7:21 am
I absolutely love parenting. But that doesn’t mean I don’t also have less favorite moments or count the seconds to bedtime.
Major lehavdil, but you can love your brand new car and not enjoy getting oil changes and having to drive the speed limit, you know?
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Ruchel
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 7:27 am
Goldgold wrote: | What "chores" could a servant do?
I love caring for them and taking care of their every need.
I want to be the one to care for them. Why would I want someone else to get this privilege? |
cleaning mess, removing lice ordering clothes by size...
I don't need the privilege of cleaning a toilet either. Youre cute
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Ruchel
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 7:28 am
I love the newlyweds here. looooov
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nchr
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 9:25 am
I have some sisters who love being parents and enjoy every minute of parenting.
I love my children but don't like parenting at all. I spend a lot less time with my children but DH and I have a policy to be very strict and rigid when they are young and BH it works for us and after 5 or 6 we never really need to parent they just listen.
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 10:38 am
nchr wrote: | I have some sisters who love being parents and enjoy every minute of parenting.
I love my children but don't like parenting at all. I spend a lot less time with my children but DH and I have a policy to be very strict and rigid when they are young and BH it works for us and after 5 or 6 we never really need to parent they just listen. |
Sounds like your children end up listening out of fear. Also parenting isn't only about discipline.
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tichellady
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 10:50 am
Overall yes. But of course not every moment or experience. I would enjoy parenting even more if it meant I could sleep a full night and never be sick while taking care of young children.
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nchr
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 10:55 am
amother [ Ginger ] wrote: | Sounds like your children end up listening out of fear. Also parenting isn't only about discipline. |
Fear? My kids aren't scared lol. And the rest of parenting which is example, support, direction is just life as opposed to being focused on behavioral concerns or lack of independence if that makes sense.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 11:03 am
NCHR if you're European don't expect understanding
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:04 pm
nchr wrote: | Fear? My kids aren't scared lol. And the rest of parenting which is example, support, direction is just life as opposed to being focused on behavioral concerns or lack of independence if that makes sense. |
Ok. So you're saying you have no listening issues above age 5/6, and your kids aren't scared of you? I'd love some lessons then.
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:04 pm
Ruchel wrote: | NCHR if you're European don't expect understanding |
I'm actually European myself lol
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amother
Babyblue
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:17 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote: | I'm actually European myself lol |
Rav volbe teachings. Like The new “spare the child” book talk about raising kids that listen because of how you build them. Making kids listen from a baby. There is no fear just understanding. (I’m sure I’m summarizing all this wrong)
I’ve never seen anyone truly implement it.
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Goldgold
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 12:50 pm
Ruchel wrote: | cleaning mess, removing lice ordering clothes by size...
I don't need the privilege of cleaning a toilet either. Youre cute |
I would put that into 2 categories
cleaning up the mess, scrubbing toilets. it is nice to pay for help with these kind of things. clearing your time to be used for other things ( yourself, your family)
but removing lice I would put into a different category of being there for/with my child. making the experience a positive one ( they did not ask for it, they dont want it either. I would never wan them to feel I have no patience for it.)
'I enjoy picking out clothing for my kids.. .but if you dont maybe .. umm I dunno
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Ruchel
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 1:09 pm
I like picking the clothes but not putting order by size
I don't find the shrieking and jerking a bonding experience. No one asked for it. I miss lice ladies (ok those who still exist are expensive)
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amother
Smokey
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 1:13 pm
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amother
Ginger
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 1:15 pm
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote: | Rav volbe teachings. Like The new “spare the child” book talk about raising kids that listen because of how you build them. Making kids listen from a baby. There is no fear just understanding. (I’m sure I’m summarizing all this wrong)
I’ve never seen anyone truly implement it. |
Yes, I've read the book. It's an awesome book and that's kind of my goal as a parent.
But my question was about her saying that after age 5/6 they don't parent anymore. That's what I'm confused about. In my experience it gets easier, but it's not like it's magic that beyond a certain age they suddenly don't need any more discipline.
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nchr
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Tue, Sep 08 2020, 2:30 pm
amother [ Ginger ] wrote: | Yes, I've read the book. It's an awesome book and that's kind of my goal as a parent.
But my question was about her saying that after age 5/6 they don't parent anymore. That's what I'm confused about. In my experience it gets easier, but it's not like it's magic that beyond a certain age they suddenly don't need any more discipline. |
Ok, but at a certain age listening and maturity becomes automatic and natural. They just know what is expected and have an inner feeling to just behave. Just go with the flow, be positive, say yes, do what you have to do. Just like toilet training. After they get the hang of it they just know to go to the bathroom.
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