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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Miri1
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 Thu, Sep 10 2020, 9:16 pm
| imaima wrote: | | So what does he learn from that? if he gets sent to play in the closet how is that a consequence? |
Part of what makes a punishment is the control.
If a child is sitting in the middle of the playroom surrounded by toys, but he knows he can't come out, it could upset him enough to be a punishment, even though he has everything he needs to have a good time there.
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imaima
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Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:29 am
| Miri1 wrote: | Part of what makes a punishment is the control.
If a child is sitting in the middle of the playroom surrounded by toys, but he knows he can't come out, it could upset him enough to be a punishment, even though he has everything he needs to have a good time there. |
Well the same principle applies when mother stays with the child who misbehaves. He is upset enough that he cannot come out, no need to make him more upset by giving him silent treatment that will only exacerbate his misbehavior.
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imaima
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Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:34 am
| amother [ Gold ] wrote: | You realize he is 5?
He learns that if he hits his little sister then he will be sent away from her. And he does not get to provide feedback in privacy because hitting his sister is not up for discussion. In most cases there are multiple witnesses to the altercation and none of his feedback is relevant. And the same goes for his 3 year old sister who is usually the one who needs to be removed to the closet. |
You are the one who gives feedback to the child and you would teach him a great lesson if you gave him feedback in privacy. That would teach him that even if he makes a mistake, he has to be respected and not criticized in public, in front of other people.
Last edited by imaima on Fri, Sep 11 2020, 3:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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imaima
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Fri, Sep 11 2020, 1:36 am
| imaima wrote: | | You first comfort the hurt child and then you deal with the aggressor. But if you decide to send him out, you accompany them. It is not about "punishing" but about separating them and finding out what could have caused the bad behavior and giving feedback in privacy. |
Amazing how this sentence could have been misunderstood. Obviously the parent gives feedback to the child and not the other way around.
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amother
Mistyrose
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Fri, Sep 11 2020, 2:03 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | My best friend asked me if I would be interested in joining her for a parenting course (as something we could enjoy and benefit from, and also spend time together). We did it together, and that's where I learned better skills in parenting, than hitting (and so much more....)
I don't have any friends who hit their kids in front of me, and when I gave that occasional potch, before I learned other ways, I didn't do it in front of my friends.
But I am grateful to my friend for interesting me in something that I consider one of the greatest blessings in my parenting life.
Hey, what are friends for, if not this? |
Do you mind if I ask which course? Would love to learn.
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