Is a college education beneficial or just selective?

SixOfWands

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:01 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

I really believed people looked up to me if I was PhD orsomethign that I would get kavod, and appriaciation because I always felt I had to take extra effort for doing things, because I always feel I never not do enough... Sometimes I just hoped I was born in to a very chareidi family went to sem got married at 19 and was already mother or something. College is nice, but it needs to fit you maybe it didn't fit me but it gave me a lot of tzar.

You are entitled to kavod and appreciation. Not because of any degrees you have or don't have, but because you are a good and valuable person.

Education teaches you things. It qualifies you for positions. But it doesn't entitle you to kavod. You've got that on your own.

I don't know how things work where you are, but in the US, many many people on the autistic spectrum go to college and thrive. Would you consider taking online courses, if you really want a degree?

Shana tova.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:04 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

I didn't say she was a sociology major. It was a prereq for her degree.

I don't want to give more details here as this is not my story to repeat, but yes, it was a real class and a real prereq.

Human s*xuality is actually a real course in college, but A. this was a history of p*rnography (sorry my previous post was filtered) and B. many frum women would rather not take this course, even if there could be some benefit for somebody. It is the risk of being exposed to classes and professors such as these that keep many frum women out of college.

mommyg8, what degree was this for? This is beyond impossible to believe. I have NEVER heard of such a course in uni. There are of courses about 2ex and things lke that, for msny reasons, but a class on p0rn? Im feeling like you majorly misunderstood something.

amother

Turquoise

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:06 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

Human s*xuality is actually a real course in college.

And it was a very popular course at the college I attended 30 years ago. It filled a requirement--although it wasn't required--it was an easy A, it was fascinating and somewhat cringe-worthy, and I can attest to the fact that the room was not devoid of frum people who all wanted that easy A.

SixOfWands

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:08 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Oh, I would guess its a real course. Its probably very interesting as well. I simply question whether its a graduation requirement.

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:11 am

SixOfWands wrote:

I'm in The Netherlands, and this what happened from 18 till now. However the last years, I've heard colleges became more acceptable towards people on the spectrum in '', not autistic studies'' when I was studying in the social work thing it was unheard of and kinda pushed to quit after I had a bad rate. It was sometimes that my classmates went to bars and everything and came drunk to class it was 'OK' but when I had dark circles under my eyes I was put aside for ''I think it's heavy for you right? You really sure you want through with it''. I was also really stubborn, and I think if I got help sooner I would have finished and been a therapist by now but it was my pride and everything. I didn't want to face the fact I have this disorder.
Online courses is something I'm thinking about aswell maybe iyh after the yamim tovim, I'm busy with a program altogether with social services and I don't know I feel I've dispaired like that it has came to this and left with all these student debts.
I'm 26 now, and I don't want to study another 4 years relying on husband salaries and maybe have delays because I also want to have a family soon I hope there is something for me...

SixOfWands

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:21 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

IMNSHO, take all the time you need. Work part time if you want. Figure out what you want. So what if it takes you 6 years? Or 8. In 8 years, you'll either be 34 with a degree, or without one.

If this is what you want, I know you can do it.

But if its not what you want, you are still entitled to kavod. You are still a good and worthwhile person.

#BestBubby

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:33 am

watergirl wrote:

Wait. What? I am happy to send you my transcript if you want to see it.

When I was first in college, I was planning on a special ed. degree, then I took a long break and just wanted to finish with whatever. My advisor looked at my credits, which had a lot of the standard base courses like history, humanities (I took another lit and poetry class and also a course on juvenile delinquency because I loved it and humanities is a massive umbrella), writing, literature, math, computers, and science, etc. and looked at the courses for my major which included history and philosophy of education, methodology courses, psychology, sociology, brain abd behavior, abnormal psych, etc. And she looked at the Judaic courses I had from the time I spent in a frum college. She plugged them in where they best fit (so "women in halacha" went towards "women's studies", etc). And THEN we looked at what I was interested in, should I decide to go for a masters at some point and made sure I had the prerequisite undergrad courses for that area. The fastest degree to work towards for ME, with my credits, was Liberal Arts. So that's what I did. It took me 4 years; 2 when I was first in school and then 2 more when I went back as an adult.

I got my degree without taking any courses with useless info or propaganda. Even the juvenile delinquency/justice course I took was very interesting, very informative, and really changed the way I saw that area of law. Is it relevant to my life? Sure it is - when I drive home from work and see the squeegee kids and wonder why they are not in school, I understand the broken system.

College takes some seichel. And that includes the seichel to chose courses wisely and the seichel to ignore comments like the above which is uninformed.

[Political comment removed, along with the wild guess about this poster's political stance, which just goes to illustrate how people bring politics in everywhere and also how confirmation bias will work in any direction - take a sociology class to learn that that means - mod]

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:37 am

SixOfWands wrote:

The thing is, because of these trauma things, I'm kinda unable to work, I'm way too sensitive to criticism and everything, so that is why I'm enrolling in a job coach/work-learn traject but still it's is not what I've expected for myself when I was in my early 20s I really want to achieve something you know, make money and everything. I know what I want I have a special coach now, I want to work with people and children but I'm also really scared because of what I've been faced. And not to forget I have a 40k debt. Even with my husband's good salary, we can't afford a house in a Jewish area because of this debt and maybe I can get some money off but then I need to prove I'm enrolling in this project and it's kinda strict with rules I have had to write everything down what I'm able to and unable to. Anyhoo, don't know why I deserved this (was I f*** Irma Grese in my last gilul?), and I ahte the fact that I'm jealous most of my friends are or Gateshead sem alumni or doctor/lawyer/scientist.... and then I come '' social services....''' Can't Believe It

Sorry it's a big thing now for me... I really feel failed and hate the fact I'm depressed about this but ok, hashem is giving me a new year and maybe it will turn out good parnassa wise/work wise and with study wise...

Chickensoupprof

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 8:58 am

Oh btw I took a minor at the university in gender studies: introduction in gender studies, gender, and religion in a multicultural enviroment, and also something about p0rnography it was beyond interesting and I can tell you everthing about it especially about the psychology and multicultural enviroment I also leanred something about globalization.
And call me ''filthy purple hairyl leftie'' but lots of the participatns of these course were orthodox muslim women, christians and also rightwing people. I can sent link to some interesting papers or reccomand some books about these theories, gender studies is really understood. What once was really intersting is this from a Israeli professor a woman from the uni of tel aviv

amother

Salmon

Fri, Sep 11 2020, 11:04 am

I didn’t read all the comments but I was the first in my family to go to college. My family members each had a obvious talent that helped them get well paying jobs without a degree. I graduated at the top of my class but that doesn’t have anything to do with a well paying job. And I figured if I’m working anyway In an office shouldn’t I at least get paid well ?So I got a degree in accounting and It was the best thing because I work in that field and get paid well.

For the record I went to a state school (online) and paid it on my own. I didn’t qualify for any need based scholarship (because they base it on your parents financial info if you are under a certain age) but got a tiny academic scholarship. But I was young and single and living at home so didn’t have to struggle to much