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Forum -> Household Management -> Cleaning & Laundry
Getting nervous about household maintenance



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:34 pm
I am on a strict budget and I noticed something that I'd like to hear opinions on. I get nervous when my kids are wild in the house because I worry that things will get ruined/ break. For example I tell them stop touching the door (avoid having to windex it twice a day) or try not to touch walls ( avoid having to paint) don't slam door (avoid door breaking) take shoes off (tracks less dirt). Some times I get more crazy about these things than others. For example during lockdown in March I really had to let go so I did and I noticed that yes, the house was dirtier but then it just got cleaned up - nothing really broke. Now I am in a more "makpid " state and get tense about things. Don't play with gate- don't want it to break etc etc. I just wonder if all my fretting is really necessary. Meaning if things would break (not out of total wildness but more from wear and tear) how much would it actually cost me? A few thousand a year vs. if I am extra careful with the house I save that money? I wonder if people have any insight into this. If you are extra careful with home not getting damage how much money are you practically saving if anything and is it just not worth being so "makpid" all the time.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:37 pm
Why do you feel you have to windex 2x a day? That’s not a $ thing at all! That’s just an uptight thing
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:37 pm
I am just like you
I can relate to all those examples
We live in a narrow home, so kids are always touching the walls and it's my pet peeve
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:38 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Why do you feel you have to windex 2x a day? That’s not a $ thing at all! That’s just an uptight thing


Winded does cost $.
And fingerprints and grease all over the door, window, chairs and/or table drives me crazy. I like to look around and see clean, neat surfaces.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:39 pm
amother [ Papaya ] wrote:
Why do you feel you have to windex 2x a day? That’s not a $ thing at all! That’s just an uptight thing


ok - so that is more a saving time thing not a money thing. If they would just not touch the darn storm door I would save time and then be able to work more so save money... but I hear that is not a good example of my point. My point is more if I heard that practically speaking you don't save THAT much money being uptight about home care then I think I would loosen my rules and have a happier home. I just would love to hear facts from people in the know.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:41 pm
A good example that comes up a lot is don't leave the fridge door opened so long or open and close it too much. I get nervous from this - I don't yell chas veshalom or punish for these things but I just get a small tension in me like oy- please shut the door or stop opening and closing. My question is let's say the kids non stop opened and shut my fridge door and left it open for minutes on end- would the fridge break sooner? Is it worth the stress from a purely factual perspective?
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 4:53 pm
I’m just like that OP. I’m not sure it’s about money. It’s more about wanting the kids to respect property and act like menchen. I get very annoyed when my kids do such stuff, but I’m jealous of my friends who let their kids ride bikes in the dining room and jump on the couch. I feel like their kids are living a happier life.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:04 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I’m just like that OP. I’m not sure it’s about money. It’s more about wanting the kids to respect property and act like menchen. I get very annoyed when my kids do such stuff, but I’m jealous of my friends who let their kids ride bikes in the dining room and jump on the couch. I feel like their kids are living a happier life.


Yes! Like if let's say I let the kids jump on couch how much more often would I need to replace vs. if I am makpid about no shoes on couch. AS it is going it seems that I generally need to get a new couch once every 7 years - even with all my "makpidness" being that it just gets dirty and not nice looking. So if I was not makpid at all and let them eat and jump on the couch to their heart's content would I need to replace every 3 years? That is my question.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:05 pm
No. Definitely not worth your sanity and the few extra dollars and your relationship with your precious kids.

It’s not easy to let things go in the beginning but eventually you’ll feel much better.
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:09 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes! Like if let's say I let the kids jump on couch how much more often would I need to replace vs. if I am makpid about no shoes on couch. AS it is going it seems that I generally need to get a new couch once every 7 years - even with all my "makpidness" being that it just gets dirty and not nice looking. So if I was not makpid at all and let them eat and jump on the couch to their heart's content would I need to replace every 3 years? That is my question.


If you're going to do that, please make sure they know that not everyone allows this.

I am so tired of kids coming over to my house and jumping on my nice furniture and throwing my beautiful pillows, standing on my dining room chairs and their parents say NOTHING and I have to get up and discipline other people's children and then those kids have the nerve to look at me and say, "my mother lets."
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:10 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yes! Like if let's say I let the kids jump on couch how much more often would I need to replace vs. if I am makpid about no shoes on couch. AS it is going it seems that I generally need to get a new couch once every 7 years - even with all my "makpidness" being that it just gets dirty and not nice looking. So if I was not makpid at all and let them eat and jump on the couch to their heart's content would I need to replace every 3 years? That is my question.


For the couch problem:
We have two couches- one nice one in the living room just for adults and clean, properly sitting, shoeless children, and one durable one for anyone- in the den- to sit, lay, jump, play.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:21 pm
And as for being envious of other people being more relaxed:
Dh is similar to me, we are both uptight about these things. We used to talk about how we wish we were more like x family, who is super chilled, happy and relaxed.
Well x family suddenly got divorced, and it seems things weren't as hunky dory as we thought they were.
My point is, do what works for you within reason. Don't live your life being jealous of other people.
Try to achieve a balance.
My kids know they can't walk on other people's lawn or play with other people's toys without permission - something most kids on our block don't care about. My kids have to act responsibly because we do not have full time cleaning help and I am not able to constantly clean up after them.
Food is eaten only at the kitchen table. Hands are washed immediately after eating. Toilets need to be cleaned up after use if necessary (I have boys Wink ). Garbage gets thrown away. Laundry gets put in the hamper. Climbing is allowed on one couch, and outside on the porch or swingset. Running is allowed outside. Teeth get brushed. No climbing on top of cars. No small toys are allowed on the floor because of baby.

On the flip side, toys that are bought are stored neatly and can be enjoyed for many years, such as Lego sets, Playmobil, and some other really fun toys. Shoes and yarmulkes are found right away, right in the bin where they belong. Yummy treats are given - at the table. Favorite dinners are made. Routines are shared, stories are read, games are played, play dates are arranged. Each child has their own room- Dh and I understand their need for space and privacy.

I don't yell about these things; I do request calmly and as often as needed. "Fences (or refrigerators!) are not for climbing- please come down." "Please wash your hands before you leave the table, and please don't touch the wall." "Please throw away your garbage."

My husband is a real mentch. I try to be too. I think valuing one's property, boundaries, respect for others are all good values.

It needs to be a balance.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 5:49 pm
amother [ Orange ] wrote:
And as for being envious of other people being more relaxed:
Dh is similar to me, we are both uptight about these things. We used to talk about how we wish we were more like x family, who is super chilled, happy and relaxed.
Well x family suddenly got divorced, and it seems things weren't as hunky dory as we thought they were.
My point is, do what works for you within reason. Don't live your life being jealous of other people.
Try to achieve a balance.
My kids know they can't walk on other people's lawn or play with other people's toys without permission - something most kids on our block don't care about. My kids have to act responsibly because we do not have full time cleaning help and I am not able to constantly clean up after them.
Food is eaten only at the kitchen table. Hands are washed immediately after eating. Toilets need to be cleaned up after use if necessary (I have boys Wink ). Garbage gets thrown away. Laundry gets put in the hamper. Climbing is allowed on one couch, and outside on the porch or swingset. Running is allowed outside. Teeth get brushed. No climbing on top of cars. No small toys are allowed on the floor because of baby.

On the flip side, toys that are bought are stored neatly and can be enjoyed for many years, such as Lego sets, Playmobil, and some other really fun toys. Shoes and yarmulkes are found right away, right in the bin where they belong. Yummy treats are given - at the table. Favorite dinners are made. Routines are shared, stories are read, games are played, play dates are arranged. Each child has their own room- Dh and I understand their need for space and privacy.

I don't yell about these things; I do request calmly and as often as needed. "Fences (or refrigerators!) are not for climbing- please come down." "Please wash your hands before you leave the table, and please don't touch the wall." "Please throw away your garbage."

My husband is a real mentch. I try to be too. I think valuing one's property, boundaries, respect for others are all good values.

It needs to be a balance.


Oh boy - thanks. I was more curious about dollars and cents. Like if anyone is in construction or home repair business if they can chime in on what is the actual cost to do home repairs on a house every year in a standard home with 4-7 kids.
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 6:03 pm
Can I just recommend a magic sponge eraser? Forget the windex spritz.

Some kids learn some things when repeated over and over. It's up to you if you want to nag. It makes for an unpleasant household though, if you choose to nag.
We take our shoes off as soon as we come in the house. It's automatic so I don't have to nag and I never have shoes on the couch.
Nagging about fingerprints, slamming doors, those reminders never worked on my kids so I try to let go. One day I'll have a too quiet house with no fingerprints or crooked tablecloths.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 6:29 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oh boy - thanks. I was more curious about dollars and cents. Like if anyone is in construction or home repair business if they can chime in on what is the actual cost to do home repairs on a house every year in a standard home with 4-7 kids.


No one can do that. I know it would cost $5000-8000 to paint my house but I don't know how big or small your house is.
Most repairs would be closer to the range of a few hundred dollars but if a couch or wooden chairs go, that could be more (if your couch/chairs cost more to begin with). There really is no average. And repairs are necessary with or without kids in the picture.
If it's just a dollars and cents thing, figure out which things are most likely going to need to be replaced (a broken refrigerator for example) vs just living with fingerprinted walls. And focus on what is most important to you.
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 6:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am on a strict budget and I noticed something that I'd like to hear opinions on. I get nervous when my kids are wild in the house because I worry that things will get ruined/ break. For example I tell them stop touching the door (avoid having to windex it twice a day) or try not to touch walls ( avoid having to paint) don't slam door (avoid door breaking) take shoes off (tracks less dirt). Some times I get more crazy about these things than others. For example during lockdown in March I really had to let go so I did and I noticed that yes, the house was dirtier but then it just got cleaned up - nothing really broke. Now I am in a more "makpid " state and get tense about things. Don't play with gate- don't want it to break etc etc. I just wonder if all my fretting is really necessary. Meaning if things would break (not out of total wildness but more from wear and tear) how much would it actually cost me? A few thousand a year vs. if I am extra careful with the house I save that money? I wonder if people have any insight into this. If you are extra careful with home not getting damage how much money are you practically saving if anything and is it just not worth being so "makpid" all the time.


There are ways to clean up without using windex. You can try using warm water and maybe a little soap. There are homemade options to make your own cleaning agents that can save money. If your children are not super destructive, there are cheap solutions to repair a little wear and tear. You should keep to your house rules of course, but it’s probably not worth it to stress and make yourself (and the rest of your family ) so anxious because of the money.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 6:52 pm
It does sound stressful for you and them. Maybe pick some to be careful about and some to let go of.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:08 pm
Honestly OP you sound like s/o who will Windex herself to an early grave G-d forbid. Loosen up! You’ll live longer. Fingerprints never killed anybody. Yes I get that you like a pristine environment but you have young children. Young children and pristine environments are incompatible. You need to live in a happy home, not a museum. Take my word for it, all too soon your chicks will fly the coop and you’ll be sitting alone in your sparkling clean EMPTY nest just wishing your chicks were back messing it up.

Naturally you have to have rules and limits and teach your children to take proper care of possessions, you can’t have a hefkervelt, but the way you describe it you really go overboard. You have to let kids be kids. Windexing surfaces twice a day is waaaaay overboard. The only surfaces you need to clean more than once a day are surfaces for food prep and eating. And Windex isn’t all that good for you or your children to inhale.

Look at it this way: after 120, would you rather your kids said Mama had the cleanest house I ever saw or Mama was such fun to be with?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Sep 13 2020, 7:23 pm
I don't windex twice a day. My post was meant to give examples of ways that I would potentially save time/money if kids were more careful. My home is actually an extremely happy pleasant place to be as is evidenced by the fact that my kids are happy and all the neighborhood kids enjoy playing in my home. I was asking a question for factual information. That's all.
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