S/O what parenting or other mistakes have you made?

amother

Purple

Wed, Sep 09 2020, 8:58 am

I regret giving my 8 year old a choice between going on a school trip or coming on a family trip. (They coincided.) She was up miserable all night stressed over the decision. From then I learned that giving choices are great for small decisions, but it's my responsibility to decide big decisions. I should not have put that on her.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Sep 09 2020, 11:42 pm

First of all I regret always looking back, analyzing the past and always having regrets.

But there are many things I regret.
I regret not getting help for my husband when I saw things were wrong with him and instead led it escalate into a major mental health crisis for him.
I regret not appreciating getting pregnant easily in the past (as it’s proving very difficult for me now to get pregnant)
I regret being a controlling, demanding wife.
I regret being judgmental and critical of people. But I can say bH that that’s something I was able to fix and worked on myself a lot to change that.
I regret keeping some unhealthy friendships in my life for way too long. (Jealous friend that totally was toxic for me...)

amother

Aqua

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 1:47 am

HeartyAppetite wrote:

I used to leave my 2 year old in the bathtub with about 1-2 inches of water And toys themselves, while I did household chores. I frequently checked up on him so I thought it was safe. I actually posted it on imamother once, and I appreciate the women That made me aware of how dangerous it was. It was a true learning moment.

I remember you (or someone else) writing about that. I'm impressed with how you wrote this. It's hard to hear that we are doing something wrong and not become super defensive.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Sep 10 2020, 1:49 am

A mistake I made that I regret is being too strict with food with my children- my oldest especially. We live this life and should enjoy this life and if they eat a little more sugar and fewer vegetables then I think they should it wont be so horrible. This is something I'm still working on.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Sep 14 2020, 7:42 am

In the depths of my postpartum depression, I told my 2 year old that I'm leaving and I'm never coming back. She's almost 5 now and still occasionally gets worried that I'll follow through on that. I only said it twice but it was so damaging for my anxious little girl. I try to give her lots of love and security and I tell her almost daily that I'll never leave her and I love being her mommy and hopefully with time she'll internalize that.

ChanieMommy

Mon, Sep 14 2020, 8:11 am

I regret not having had the serenity I have now...
I feel I was too much in the action, too much about making things happen rather than letting things happen, so I believe I put too much pressure on the whole family...

ChanieMommy

Mon, Sep 14 2020, 8:14 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

That's so true!

amother

Pink

Mon, Sep 14 2020, 8:17 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

I regret leaving my then newborn baby in his basinet after getting really aggravated and I had to leave the room into the kitchen where I BH calmed down.

I don't think this is a mistake. It is responsible parenting. If you have a screaming baby that won't calm down, and you are getting agitated or overwhelmed, it is advised that the baby be placed in a safe place, such as a crib or bassinet, and the parent go into another room to calm down.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Sep 14 2020, 9:45 am

Debbie wrote:

I'm not sure if this is a parenting mistake, but despite all my efforts I failed in my efforts to breastfeed my first baby; sadly I was at the receiving end of some rather mean comments from other frum mothers, which lead to me feeling like a failure and worse that I didn't deserve to be a mother.
My mistake was that I was so focused on that one aspect of mothering that I had failed at that I didn't look at or think about everything I was doing well.
One mother even told me "You didn't try hard enough!" I wish I'd had the courage to reply "You're not trying hard enough to be a kind and understanding person."

Omg that's actually horrible!! You went through so much to have a baby and care for a baby. I didn't nurse any of my kids and you know what it's no one's business!! My kids aren't any different than kids that are nursed. That is so narrow-minded. Yes I also felt like on the receiving end of that comment once. This really bothers me!!