Going rate for babysitting a “difficult” baby

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries

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amother

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 10:47 am

My friend’s baby got kicked out of his babysitting group because he cries too much, needs to be held, and doesn’t nap outside his own crib.

What’s the going rate for a private babysitter?

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 11:03 am

Maybe just try a different babysitter who has less babies or more patience. Poor baby.

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 11:33 am

Sometimes you just need a different woman to babysit even if the baby is considered more difficult
Try that first before looking for a private person

Chayalle

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 11:49 am

My DD is a pretty easygoing personality, but as a baby, she got kicked out of 3 babysitters who couldn't handle her crying. B"H after that I found someone who was able to take her on, plus she gradually got less colicky.

Agree, try for someone else. I've heard there are some babysitters who only want babies who are low maintenance, but most babies aren't.

It's not easy to find a private babysitter, even for top $.

notshanarishona

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 11:59 am

I was looking for private for my immuno compromised baby and found between $12-20 per hour (cheaper if not a frum person)

amother

Teal

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:03 pm

My sister n law had to give up her job because her baby was by 4 different babysitters and no one was able to handle her. It doesn’t mean that the babysitters are not good, they have more babies to take care of and if they have to be busy with the same baby the entire time, the other babies end up being neglected.

Ruchel

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:18 pm

I had a knee jerk reaction
I'd lose a job over sending to a sitter who says the baby is difficult

judyjew

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 12:55 pm

I may have someone for her. She held my newborn baby for hours! Pm me please.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:19 pm

I'm surprised by some answers. Imagine you were a mother of a baby who was in a group where the babysitter held a different baby the whole time and never yours. You would be happy with thay setup? The babysitter could be the most patient woman but if she is watching 5 babies and only 1 is getting attention I think she is being responsible by asking them to leave.

Chayalle

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:31 pm

Scarlet, the babysitter that worked out for my DD in the end was actually one who took staggered ages. So not all of them needed to be held. She was able to work out holding my DD some of the time, and managing with the other kids she was watching who were older and not needing to be held, just needing attention.

Also eventually DD adjusted.

And yes, I think a babysitter who can be flexible and give different types of attention is preferable to one who just wants babies who lay in their carseats all day.

Rappel

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:37 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I had a knee jerk reaction
I'd lose a job over sending to a sitter who says the baby is difficult

Exactly.

mommyhood

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 1:49 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Flexible is one thing, tolerating a baby that screams all day is a whole different level of flexibility. My baby just started at a new babysitter and since he was home for so long due he's going through a tough adjustment which is normal. The babysitter is being flexible and understanding but it has to work both ways. She doesn't expect him to lie there all day happily but there was one day that my baby was just shrieking and she asked if I could pick up early and I did and he was welcomed back the next morning by a Morah who knows we can work together through the transition.
Some babies are inherently more challenging but many times parents are expecting the babysitters to deal with unfair situations. I hear from friends that they never even attempt to give their baby a bottle until sending them out and let the babsyitter deal with it or they won't even give bottles so they feed the baby right before going to teach and let the baby survive the 4 hours till they pick up.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 2:21 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Yes, that system is much more preferable. (In general, not just in this situation).

And I would never in a million years want (or be, I'm a 2 yr old Morah) a babysitter that leaves the kids in their carseats. Babies need stimulation and touch no matter their age. I was just saying if only ONE is being held and the other ones jist laying there I would not judge such a babysitter.

I'm bias I guess. I would hope a parent would understand that if a 2 yr old is taking up my attention to the extent that the other children were lacking, I would unfortunately have to tell them that their child is not ready for a group setting. I would assume the baby scenario comea up more often than it does for me (once in my career).

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 3:08 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I had a knee jerk reaction
I'd lose a job over sending to a sitter who says the baby is difficult

Beautiful in theory. But then your baby won't have formula or diapers or clothes.

challahchallah

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 3:35 pm

It sounds like OP was just asking for logistics (price) on a private babysitter. Moving to 1:1 care seems like a really reasonable solution for a baby that requires more attention than a group setting can offer. I’m not sure why everyone has leapt into a debate about the validity of group care in general or whether mothers should stop working outside the home if they have a high-needs infant.

Simple1

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 4:22 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I've done day care subbing in different places. The babies are not left in their carseats. Even a low maintenance will not be happy cooped up all day and will get plenty of floor time. OTOH a difficult baby needs to be held all the time. I've found most babies are not very difficult, although it's common enough, but I don't know anyone who got kicked out.

amother

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 4:52 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I was looking for private for my immuno compromised baby and found between $12-20 per hour (cheaper if not a frum person)

Thank you. I appreciate that you answered my actual question.

amother

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 4:53 pm

challahchallah wrote:

Exactly. But happy to provide entertainment for the day, I guess...

ohmygosh

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 5:18 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I had a knee jerk reaction
I'd lose a job over sending to a sitter who says the baby is difficult

That's easy to say, but not always possible financially.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 16 2020, 5:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Exactly. But happy to provide entertainment for the day, I guess...

Sorry I can't be too helpful cuz I'm not in Lakewood.

I wonder if what we have here would be possible to arrange by you.

Where I live most people share a babysitter, either 2 or 3 kids total, usually a non-jew but occasionally its possible to find a frum college girl (if the hours work) or a Bubby type. If it's 3 kids it could be as low as $6.50 an hour per kid. I've paid $8 when it was my baby and another baby. We do it in either one of our apaprtments or switch off.

Being that upthread someone said $12-20 for a frum person, I wonder if you can pay $8-$10 and find another person who also wants much more individualized attention for their baby. Like maybe theres a post sem girl in Lakewood who loves babies and would be happy making $16-$20 an hour.

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