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Feeling Stuck



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:09 am
I'm feeling so frustrated and stuck in work. I work for a big corporation in healthcare (but not direct care). I'm way overqualified (with experience and education), even more than the managers and directors at the company. But even though I've been doing a good job and working hard - and taking on extra projects - I haven't been able to move up. Now it seems like they're grooming others for leadership.

To be fair, I know that I'm different. I actually have kids. I am religious - and I'm the only one. I had to fight hard to get out 2 hours before shabbos (ugh, getting ready for Shabbos feels impossible). I wear a scarf.

The folks they promote here are all single, or make announcements that they're done having kids. The one exception - was someone who was struggling with infertility for years, and hid her pregnancy and she was moved up during the pregnancy.

Part of me feels that it's because I'm frum. Part of me feels that I must be doing something wrong - in how I'm relating to others or working with management.

I know everything comes from Hashem. We're able to make our bills, but sometimes it's tight.

In my life, I've seen over and over again that Hashem send us parnassah every time we need it. He has always helped us with every issue that comes along.

I'm feeling stuck at work, jealous of those who are able to move up, and angry at myself for feeling that way. I'm feeling mad at myself for working so hard and taking on more projects and working so hard to get another degree... all to make me a better candidate for a job it feels like I'll never get in this department. I also feel guilty with all these feelings at a time when so many are out of work due to the pandemic.

Just a lot of feelings.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:12 am
Hug Hug Hug That sounds extremely frustrating!

It's one thing to intellectually know that Hashem is in charge of our parnossa, but it's another when we see right in front of our eyes that we are getting passed over no matter how hard we work.

No good advice, just lots of sympathy. Hug
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:40 am
Sounds like a bad workplace.

The one thing I'd consider is whether your managers are aware you're interested in 'moving up.' If you haven't vocally expressed interest, maybe they just assume you're happy where you are.

But if you see that over and over, it's single people/ people with no kids getting promoted, you're probably not just imagining that.

I know now's a non-awesome time for it but (if you've definitely made it perfectly clear you're interested, and have definitely met whatever the criteria are for promotion, and have the seniority most people do when they get promoted...etc...) I would definitely consider trying to move to a different workplace. You deserve not to be held back for having kids. Even if it's not feasible now, hopefully the things you're doing (eg new degree) will help with that down the line.

And don't be angry with yourself for feeling bad about it! Sometimes resentment is a good thing. Why learn to live with poor treatment?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2020, 9:47 am
If you are being consistently passed over for promotions in favor of single or childless people whose initiative, experience and productivity are not superior to yours or are even less than yours, you may have a case of discrimination on your hands. First bring up the issue with the HR department, or gird your loins and ask your boss point blank "What do I need to do to get a promotion?" Come prepared with a list of your accomplishments to date: all the extra assignments you took an, any initiatives you proposed or completed, and so on.

If that proves a dead end, you can file a discrimination complaint with your state Human Rights agency or, if you really want to and have the means, file a private lawsuit.

Or you can dust off your resume, shine it up, and start looking for a better job elsewhere.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 21 2020, 1:10 pm
Thank you. Right now I can't expect a promotion because of the so called "hiring freeze" but it just stings to see someone else clearly being groomed for a leadership position. I think you're all right, I'm going to have to start looking elsewhere instead of just complaining about it. Thank you.
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