What to do for a yeshuah?

dbw

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:38 am

Desperate for segulos, names of tzadikim to go to for a bracha, kabalos to take on, for a yeshuah for a very difficult child. Anyone have personal experience with segulos, kabalos, or brachos from tzadikim that worked?

amother

Azure

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:43 am

so sorry you are going through this. I can relate. May you merit to raise your difficult child without difficulty. I'm not a tzaddik, but I can relate and share your pain and will give you that bracha anyway Smile

amother

Orange

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 12:43 am

In addition to the standard segulah of "getting advice from experienced parents and/or professionals," (which I'm sure you're already doing but feel compelled to post in case someone reading this might misunderstand,) here is a segulah:

Say your child's kapitel of Tehillim every day. That means the kapitel of their current year of life (if they are 6 years old, they are in their 7th year, and you say kapitel Zayin).

amother

Beige

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 3:10 am

I'm ''gifted'' myself (autism) and I have always had a difficulty by having peace with it.
If someone says to me that I should take the plane now to Rav X in Eretz Yisrael or New York to heal me I will do it. If someone tells me to do x for not being autistic I do it.
Truth is, it won't change that is what a rebbi once said to me when I said I wanted to go to a rav who will ''heal' me.
I tell you this story thought this man was a famous talmid chacham in the time of the gemora but very, very, very poor. And he was such on a high level of holiness he could talk with Hashem and he begged him for more parnassa, and Hashem told him: ''In order to change your parnassa I need to change the whole universe''.
So something what is already 'sealed' or let's say determined can't be changed. Just want to tell you this, learn how to accept your child, so that the child can accept him/her self too. And there is something for what you can daven for.

amother

Rose

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 3:24 am

I lit a candle l’ I Iiluy nishmas r’ Menachem m’riminov (r’ Menachem Ben r’ Yosef). He promised before he died to beseech Hashem for a yeshua on behalf of anyone who lights a candle for him for 30 days in a row. I lit the candle each evening before I went to bed. The next day I said tehillim for that day. I didn’t tell anyone aside for my husband. I spent a long time each morning davening shachris (which I wasn’t always so careful to do) and saying tehillim.
After 30 days I did see some improvement but things weren’t perfect (and they probably never will be), so I started all over again for another 30 days.
I did this a few times and now people who know us well comment that my child is a different person. It is truly a miracle.
I asked Hashem that in the zchus of r’ Menachem Mendel our son (insert full name) should.... (insert own words).
May Hashem send you a yeshua for your ds b’korov.

amother

Chartreuse

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 3:43 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

I agree with amother Beige. First, you have to accept your child as he is now. This is very important because nobody can change if they are not accepted first. Acceptance is a very difficult avodah, but I have seen in my life that it has to happen before you can see yeshuos.

amother

Denim

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 5:27 am

I really don't want to detail this extremely important thread but amother beige-since you experienced this firsthand-
Do you suggest/How do you suggest telling a 12 year old he has aspergers/autism?
I know someone who's now an adult and I'm pretty sure he's just like my son.
But there were no diagnoses those days
He's fine now but I wonder if he was diagnosed years ago if things would be different.

dbw

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 5:36 am

How many times did you have to do the Rimanover segula to see some change?

What do you mean by accepting him? Does that mean I accept him with his unacceptable behavior? How do you show a child that you accept him?

amother

Rose

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 5:48 am

dbw wrote:

I saw a yeshua during the first 30 days. When I continued to do it I changed the wording of my bakasha and asked for other specific things for that child.

You basically want a child to always have yiras shamayim, derech Eretz, menuchas hanefesh, simchas hachaim, health, he should find favor in everyone’s eyes, be matzliach in yeshiva...., have good friends who can influence him in a good way-

I think I read that you are only supposed to ask for one thing each time you daven in the zechus of R’ Menachem Mendel. It’s been months of davening and my bakashos have been answered. We are going in the right direction now bH.

amother

Beige

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 8:23 am

dbw wrote:

I don't know what his 'unacceptable behavior' is. But the main thing is to judge the thing they do 'wrong' and not the person. If your child has a diagnosis don't expect that suddenly that will change, it's like you can't change the fact that someone has no legs even 30 days of lighting a candle for the Rimanover Rebbe will not change that. But ask your self, where comes this behavior from?

Let's say you are going with a child who is easily overwhelmed to a chassuna and there are lots of noise and people and suddenly he gets a tantrum and you get mad at him. A child does not know what happens and already feels embarrassed but does not know yet what overwhelming is and how to prevent it. So what can you do better? Well you can prepare this kid to go, make sure he has a safe easy place to go, and maybe only go for the chuppa itself and then make sure the kid can go home with a babysitter or so. You see ''unacceptable'' behaviour is easy to overcome.

mha3484

Mon, Jun 01 2020, 8:41 am

Ross Greene says that Explosion= Expectation + Lagging skill. When we place an expectation on a child that they lack the skills to meet they explode. I find with my kids that this is true 1000% of the time.

Goldengrl327

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 5:19 am

So I’m very interested in this topic because I drafted an email to our Rabbi but haven’t sent it yet. I found out some horrific news about my 16 yo DS over RH. At first I was angry at Hashem for “allowing” this to happen. After thinking about it some more I came to the realization that I can’t be angry at Hashem because he didn’t cause anything to happen. It could have been a flaw within me or him. (I can’t blame Hashem for a car accident if I was speeding and texting. I have to take responsibility). So I’ve been to Orthidox High School, Seminary and Stern but I have yet to learn how to daven for something. I know how to daven Shacharit but what can I daven or how can I daven for Divine inspiration to handle this news? Or as in U’netaneh Tokef “to reverse the evil decree”? I know there’s Tehilim but which ones?
Thanks

amother

Rose

Tue, Sep 22 2020, 6:04 am

In the beginning of the artscroll tehillim it lists different perakim to say for different situations.
Also if your child is 16 that means he’s in his 17th year and you should say Perek 17 as a zechus for him.
I’m sorry about the pain you are feeling regarding your son. May Hashem send a yeshua b’karov!