Is it just me? | Imamother

amother

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:32 am

Firstly, let me begin by saying that I am constantly told by teachers, friends, and relatives how sweet, smart, mature, and well behaved my children are. They do great in school, they are popular with both friends and friends’ parents. They are ages 9 and under.
However, life at home is a constant struggle. Every single thing is a problem with them. What’s for breakfast, what’s for supper, what they want (don’t want) to wear, getting to the bus, getting to bed..... they have something to say about everything. Sometimes I will give them a choice between two things but they will choose a third thing. And then scream when I say that wasn’t an option. For the most part I just ignore the screaming and crying. Sometimes I will have to force them physically to cooperate (eg force them into the clothing they don’t want after a long bout of crying).
Life like this is just too draining for me. Is this just normal parenting or am I doing something wrong?
Will add that my husband works long hours and basically only is involved in hands on parenting on shabbos.

NotInNJMommy

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 10:36 am

I think it's normal...kids are safe with you so they will push back. Offer less choices and have PBJ or cereal/milk available for those who don't want what you're serving, put out an outfit or 2, give some incentives for getting their morning done on time...."Yup, you can go to the bus in PJs and take your clothes to school if you want, heres' a granola bar for breakfast if you don't eat before you head out." Give attention/conversation to the kids who are complying when they are complying without drama. There will always be bumps, but hopefully the sound level and drama level can come down a bit.