Younger dd developing faster than her older sister

Iymnok

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 4:17 pm

Becoming a woman has no relation to s-xuality until that person has a relationship with s-xuality. In a very frum world it is generally older teenagehood. The possibility of becoming pregnant does not need to be immediately tied to s-xuality. That will come sometime before marriage, but not necessarily with puberty.

amother

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 4:22 pm

Right, I hear what all of you are saying that A does not = B. I had some very messed up values in my home (very MO, btw), and I'm not going to get into it, but I think if I just learn to separate those two concepts in my head, my daughters won't care which one of them fits into a bra first.

amother

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 4:23 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

Why would my post have been hugged?

Honestly, I've decided some people read these threads from their phones and just hit the wrong button. Because there's no other explanation for some of the hugs I've seen.

amother

Rose

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 4:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Unless it is something super significant like older DD is 4'8 and younger DD is 5'5 I think I'd treat it like any difference between siblings - grades, friends, weight, personality, etc.

amother

Violet

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 5:48 pm

I was the older sister with a younger sister who looked older, developed faster and was taller than me from a young age. It was hard, not specifically the puberty aspect but overall losing that older sibling feeling and I think for many kids older = better.
One things my mother did which I really appreciated was making a point of treating me like the older sibling when she could. I got to ride in the front seat first, had a later bedtime etc. even though it would have been easier for her to lump us together.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Sep 23 2020, 5:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Today my 8.5 yo dd said to me her chest area hurts. I felt it a bit and I said to her "You're growing! It hurts a bit when it grows.". She is starting to develop and her 10 yo sister is flat as a board. The younger one also has more acne. At this rate, the younger one could feasibly get her period first. I know I'm jumping the gun, and it's great that each one develops at her own pace, and it's perfectly ok to develop a bit at 8.5 and it's perfectly ok to be flat at 10.

But how can I make the older dd feel good about herself when her younger sister is becoming a woman at a faster pace? She doesn't have the best self esteem as it is.

I was 16 and 3/4 when my period came.
My sister two years younger got it at 12 (when I was 14)
My mother told me privately that anywhere between these ages is normal and that those who get it when they’re older usually age later also so it’s good that I’ll look younger for longer.
Honestly, I don’t know if that’s true. But I was totally cool with it.
Looking back, it was great. Bliss.
All my friends had lots of cramps and mess to deal with and I was a clean carefree bird until the end of 11th grade!
Btw I have 9 kids close in ages bli ayin hara.