I'm a cheapskate | Imamother

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:07 pm

The thread asking what to buy with an extra $1500 got me thinking.
I always thought of myself as frugal, but recently I have come to realize that I'm more than just frugal.
I literally get anxiety when I need to buy things or pay for a service.
We are not well-to-do, but bh we have enough money to pay for all our needs , as well as extra.
I feel like my entire life revolves around always looking for 'deals' or for the cheapest option. Examples:
I'll always get the cheapest of something, even though I can afford the more expensive (usually better quality/nicer ) of something.
I put off buying new things until they are really on the last leg.
I don't do anything extra for myself, like manicures etc.
We'll go on the cheapest/free outings most of the time.

How do I loosen up and start enjoying life??
I wish I could just go into a store and buy whatever I need, without comparing prices for the cheapest of everything. I wish I could be more generous to myself and my family.
Any advice?

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:16 pm

singleagain wrote:

Addressing the root of it might be a good idea.

We're you brought up with frugal tendencies? Or maybe the opposite and you were always afraid you wouldn't have?

Yes, my parents were very frugal (my father way more than my mother).

baby12x

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:17 pm

By creating a budget.
Its so freeing.

I also have this issue but when you have a strict budget than you feel able to spend the amount you're "allowed" to spend.

You've given me a great topic for a blog post... thinking I may go quickly write one up🤗

amother

Puce

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:21 pm

*cheapskate

Maybe set a budget for yourself. Let’s say you can spend $10 this whole month. And by the last week you have $5 left. Go crazy! Lol no, don’t, but buy something that you would otherwise cheap out on. And have in mind that sometimes when you are too cheap, it ends up costing you more. Don’t go for the cheaper appliance because it will break faster that the more expensive one, and you will 1-pay someone to fix it and/or 2-buy a new one. I do wigs, and I have first hand experience with this when buying curling irons. I could have saved myself so much money, time, and energy!

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:21 pm

I know some people might not like this,
But it’s just like other middos that need to be worked on.
I was like you, and it took quite a while to realize that this miser in me was NOT a positive trait.
Do your first assignment today:
Go into a store and splurge on a small food item for the family that you normally wouldn’t buy,
swallow, swallow,
it will bother you, look how happy it made the others, take a picture, tell them you bought it because you thought of them in the store.
Slowly you’ll be getting satisfaction from seeing others be happy, more than your own selfish satisfaction.

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:27 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Lol, I googled the word right after my first post in order to make sure that the definition is accurate.
All results came up as cheapskate.
I must say, I learned something new today Very Happy

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:31 pm

amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:

You are definitely on to something. It's something I want to work on, because I know it's not a good middah.
I'm just wondering what the'golden road' of this trait should be...
What is the typical, normal way to live in regards to spending/saving?

amother

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:33 pm

baby12x wrote:

What do you mean by a budget?
Wouldn't it do the opposite?
Make me feel even more cheap?

baby12x

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What do you mean by a budget?
Wouldn't it do the opposite?
Make me feel even more cheap?

No. Because if you take your income and then subtract your fixed expenses
You will know how much you have to spend.
If you have a certain amount set aside for splurges or fun or whatever than you won't feel bad spending that.

I have a used bookstore I like to go to. I get really cheap books. So I set aside a few dollars every month to spend at that bookstore.
I don't feel guilty or bad because that is what the money is for.
Its supposed to be spent at the bookstore- not anywhere else.
Obviously, you can do this with whatever your splurges or fun stuff are.

amother

Silver

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:41 pm

OP, we might be twins.
I cannot part with or replace anything that has any value left in it, unless I am donating it to someone who can really use it. I am in my dirties and can count exactly every time I have had a manicure (7- including my wedding, didn't before my kids BMs) it just seems wasteful to me when I can by a bottle on sale and do it myself.
I do hoard stuff on sale (winter boots 3 sizes too big for $6.97 in July-they will fit someone eventually) and I reuse plastic cottage cheese containers instead of throwing them out and buying Tupperware -it's wasteful not to, both financially and environmentally. (But I don't send them to school with my kids-I use purchased ones).
I grew up with grandparents who used Yaetzit glasses for juice and backs of envelopes to write shopping lists. They could afford but they thought they were clever and smart to do it this way. They both grew up with money in Europe, came here with nothing, and worked very hard to save. They lived very simply but left to us significant yerusha. They took pride in how a penny saved is a penny earned and nothing was more important than leaving it to us. Mind you, I have not touched the money they left me (siblings are all long spent) and I have no intention of ever touching it for me. I hope to be able to pass it to my children to use towards a down payment for their homes.
The difference is, I am not unhappy about it, and I question others.

amother

Silver

Thu, Sep 24 2020, 1:47 pm

baby12x wrote:

It's a mentality.
Why wouldn't I save whatever I can. If I can put the extra $6 in the bank to save for an emergency or a major purchase, why would I waste it. On the flip, if I wanted a book or sweater or purse and it was 80% off list price, why would I want to feel like I couldn't have them all right now if I technically can afford it and have to save some for a different month to fall into the budget and it will be more expensive in the future-that is just wasteful and stupid if I am going to buy it eventually anyway.